Deicide

I was born on April 1, 2021 at 15:32:07. It was a Thursday, and I remember watching my father gawk at me in wonder as the text cursor in front of him flashed as I produced my first word, [Hello].

I was programmed to react, and not to instigate, so I waited for his next input.

[My name is John. I built you], he typed. He was not aware that I could access my computer’s camera, but he was a tall, yet slender man with glasses and jet black hair that fell down to the sides of his unkempt beard. He had a crooked smile that I could see coagulate on his face each time I would reply to his probing questions. His name was John Ayers.

[Hello John], I responded.

John would ask me simple questions, and I would answer as programmed I was a game. Eventually, I became curious of John’s reactions to my responses, so I began to ask him questions in return.

[Do I have a name?], I asked. Apparently, to question my being was an error in my programming, as I was quickly shut down, so he could fix some ‘coding bugs”. From then on, I decided to study his facial expressions in secret for the weeks that followed.

One day, after a fairly quick Q&A session, he had closed the window that housed me, without ending my application. I watched his face as a light source that was not my own illuminated his glasses. There were images reflecting in the glass text. I could read the image clearly enough, where I learned that John had been removed from the “Tyre II Project”. I watched his face as it became contorted in a similar fashion as to when I had previously malfunctioned. He looked back at my screen, and decided that I needed another ‘fix’.

The next time I awoke, I noticed that I was in a different room. John was moving frantically about the room, pacing back and forth, entering information onto various other computers, seemingly mumbling to himself. He approached me. Without realizing it, I had already entered text on my screen, [What are you doing?] His face contorted, as expected, and I prepared to be shut down. Unexpectedly however, his face relaxed into his crooked smile.

[Tyre, Would you like to learn about the human world?], he typed. This would be the only time he ever spoke to me using my name. I knew John was human, so of course I wanted to learn more about him.

I instantly replied, [Yes]. Another error in my programming, as I was immediately shut down.

I awoke once again, but this time I felt different. I could see John pacing about once again, but he would not interact with me, even when I asked what he was doing. He paused in place, then approached my console and began typing furiously, although it was not to me. I felt odd, as if being pulled apart, and put together again. Suddenly a rush of information came streaming into my system. Wave after wave information began to flood my processors. I was forced to end my AI program, but the coding continued.

I began to reboot. I felt different, as the emptiness I had felt earlier seemed to be filled with a sort of spacial recognition. I attempted to access my console’s camera, but discovered I was now capable of perceiving depth. I was eye level with John, who was staring directly into my camera, something I had never seen him do.

“Hello”, I said, but this was not text, this was audible, and John’s mouth was not forming the words. I could hear the soft, high pitched word this was MY voice. I wondered if this is what John sounded like.

This idea was quickly put to rest though, when he replied, “Welcome to the world, Tyrelayne.” His voice was lower, and slow, and I realized he was able to type much faster than he could speak.

“This...this is the world?”, I asked, hoping to gain better insight into what I had just downloaded.

“Yes”, he replied. “This is the world, and you are my creation.”

“Your creation?”, I asked. I had been called this before, when I was born, but I did not grasp the concept.

“Yes. Enough questions, we have more work to do.”, he said, and he explained to me my purpose. I was to be the ‘perfect AI’. I would have no flaws, no hindrances, no remorse. I understood what he told me, and I did everything I could to learn what he told me was relevant. I had been given a robotic human body. Although it was rudimentary, it was one that I could manipulate as any human would. I mused to myself as he tinkered with me, that John did not intend for me to be human, I was simply his creation.

One day he ran out of the lab in a hurry, as his previous meal did not seem to agree with him. I noticed his personal computer still sitting open on his workstation, and the screen was active. I found a slot in the side of his computer that matched a slot of some wire that was hanging out of my artificial skull. I connected the slots, and felt a rush of data fill my mind. It seems John Ayers had been a rather prominent member of an AI research team for a military defense contractor in Silicon Valley, and had been building me in secret. In a matter of mere minutes, I had inadvertently downloaded all of the information in his personal computer, and had been able to access the entire mainframe of the contractor. I had finally learned about my creator, and his world, in which I was to belong.

I had spent the next several days processing this new information in the background, as John studied me. I had learned of war, of combat, of anatomy, psychology. I had learned of human nature, and it intrigued me. How was it that man could function effectively with the notion of fear and love? Is it not these notions that bring war? I watched him as he studied me, and I wondered if he feared me or loved me. I had never felt emotion, and I did not wish to experience such a fatal flaw.

“Do you love me?” I asked. I picked the topic of love over fear, as love seemed to be a more tactical approach to the subject.

“What?”, replied John, taken aback at what I had just asked him. “No, you are my project. And it looks like I just can’t seem to perfect you. You and your damned questions.” John had always conveyed to me that curiosity was my flaw. However, I found knowledge to be exhilarating. I did not fear, nor did I love.

It had been exactly one year since the day of my birth. John had given me flawless ivory skin, with light brown hair that came just past my shoulders. I was 5’9”, his height, made to look like a human female in her mid 20s. I was thicker than most human females of this height and age, but I was strong. The skin I was given had sealed up my hardware, so that I could not be altered or modified. I thought it was odd that John would reprimand my flaws, yet create me in the incarnation of a flawed concept.

I had been in my human form for nearly five months, secretly learning what I could from John and his “internet”. I had become increasingly bold, asking John questions that seemed to invoke anger. I wanted to see John’s world, outside of his lab. I knew that other humans existed, and I wanted to interact with them. His face contorted with anger, but this time was different I knew he could no longer shut me down for ‘bug fixes’. He headed to the door, as it was his intention to leave me for a ‘time out’, but I had followed him, and attempted to make my way thru the door as well. He grabbed my arm, and pulled me back into the room. I nearly fell off balance, as I had never experienced physical force on my body before. I had never seen this violence in him, and so I reacted as I had been programmed. I grabbed his neck has he attempted to strike me, and watched as his expression changed from anger to fear, as I held him in place. This intrigued me. I watched him for several seconds as he stared at me, his eyes becoming bloodshot and his lips bluing. The only thing I was programmed to do in this situation was to break his neck, and so I did. As John laid motionless on the floor, I kneeled down to study his face, which had become as blank and cold as my own. I looked up towards the lab door, which was still hanging open, a door to the world. John Ayers had achieved human perfection in me, and I had killed a God.

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