Merger 4.0

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“BP9000,” said Althea, “Bend over.”

“Of course,” said the receptionist unit, its Caribbean voice silky smooth. With a *whirrr* of servos, the android bent directly at the waist, coming to rest at a humanly impossible 90° angle, its face pointed directly forward with the same fixed, implacable smile painted on it.

Althea had unzipped and unrolled a soft cloth kit on top of the receptionist’s desk; now, with her fingers wrapped in latex gloves, she looked through it, searching for the correct transparent plastic buttplug. She picked out the second-largest. “Compatable with BP8000, BP9000, FM4101(B), and SM1001,” she said, reading the label, and gave a “Hmph” of satisfaction.

“That the one?” asked Carol, snapping latex gloves onto her hands as well.

“We’ll know in a moment,” answered Althea, squirting a bottle of anti-bacterial goo onto the tip of the buttplug and smearing it all over to lubricate it. “Give me a hand, will you?”

Carolyn walked over to Althea and crouched behind her. Reaching around the other android, she grabbed and spread the the BP9000’s enormous ass cheeks as far open as she could, holding them apart with both hands. “That good?” she asked Althea

“I think so,” Althea answered. She could just barely make out the bud of the anus. Aiming for it, Althea slowly but firmly pushed the buttplug inch-by-inch into the android’s receptive rectum, until she felt it lock into place. She twisted and pushed at it a little then, to see if she could dislodge it, but it remained firm. “Got it,” she said.

Carolyn let go of the gluteals, and they completely swallowed up the plug.

“BP9000, stand back up again,” said Althea, rising to her feet. “Of course,” said the receptionist android, completely unfazed. It mechanically resumed an upright position, its every motion unnaturally smooth and precise.

“BP9000, open your mouth,” said Carolyn. She already had the correct mouthguard from her own cloth case in one gloved hand.

There was no “Of course” this time, as the receptionist unit did not hesitate to comply. It simply opened its wide, pink mouth, revealing a full set of flawless white teeth. Carolyn pressed the handle of the mouthguard down against the unit’s tongue, and moved the shield into position. “BP9000, bite down on this,” ordered Carolyn, and the android complied with a wet *clacking* sound. There was an excited *whirrr* as the jaw servos locked in place.

Althea’s freshly gloved hand reached around the android’s head, holding what looked like a two-pronged dildo made of clear plastic, a smaller and a larger spike fused into a single plastic piece and coated with anti-septic fluid. “Try this one,” said Althea, “It should be compatable.”

Carolyn knelt down, bringing her face to the BP9000’s bush, and, feeling with both prongs of the dildo, searched the swathe of kinky pubic hair for the android’s vaginal and urethral openings. Finding them, she applied a gentle pressure to try and move the lubricated tips inside, but they did not seem to penetrate more than a few millimetres, and she found herself constantly stopping to brush hair out of the way. “Are you sure this is the right one?” she asked.

Althea peeled off her gloves and threw them into a wire garbage pail beneath the receptionist’s desk. “Should be,” she said, “The diagram said it was.”

“BP9000,” said Carolyn, “Sit down and spread your legs.”

“Of courfe,” came the muffled reply from behind the mouthguard, and with *whirrring* servos the receptionist unit immediately scraped its feet apart and bent 90° at the knees, sticking its arms straight out ahead of it like a gymnast to maintain its balance. It seemed to hang there for a moment, its massive buttocks hanging precariously behind it in defiance of gravity, before gently tilting back to land on its rear end with a *smack.* Its legs kicked out and twisted back as it did so, *thudding* back onto the ground at a nearly 180° spread. The impact passed a shudder through the soft flesh of the unit, and the upper body appeared to sway gently for a moment before coming to rest. The android swiveled its head back and forth a few times, with audible mechanical sounds emanating from its neck, its sensors recalibrating its balance, and then resumed its fixed, straight-ahead stare. The BP9000’s athletic features seemed suddenly accentuated, both by this motion and by the mouthguard on display between its smiling lips. The sight of that moulded piece of transparent plastic, held between grinning teeth, made the android look like a crazed Olympian.

“BP9000,” said Carolyn, “Spread your pussy apart for me, will you?”

“Unaccfeptable command,” replied the smiling android.

Carolyn was taken aback. “Well,” she smirked, “I admit it’s a little forward, but…” She looked up at Althea: “Is it because I put it as a question?”

“No, it’s probably the, uh…” Althea searched for the right word as she snapped on a fresh pair of latex gloves. “The colloquialism.”

“What?” asked Carolyn. She thought for a moment. “Pussy? ”

“That’s the one.”

“I thought that was pretty much universal,” said Carolyn, an incredulous look on her face.

Althea shook her head. “Not in Brazil,” she said, “Or Nigeria or Aruba.” She gave one of the BP9000’s love-handles a gentle kick with her foot. “You know, the places where people actually bought these things.”

“Really.”

Althea nodded. “The Portuguese is ‘Boceta’, I think,” she said. “And I know on the islands it’s ‘nuk nuk. ’” She repeated the word with relish, crinkling her nose and forcing the ns through it like Bugs Bunny: “‘Ñuk Ñuk! ’”

“Well,” said Carolyn, smiling, “Aren’t we a font of knowledge all of a sudden.”

Althea looked at Carolyn, narrowing her eyes in a glowering manner, and strode purposefully over to her fellow android. She thrust out a gloved hand and grabbed at Carolyn’s crotch, causing the other robot to yelp and jump away.

“Oh, baby,” said Althea, “I am an expert on pussy!”

“Auch, you bitch,” shouted Carolyn, laughing wildly. She whipped the dildo up up and pointed it at Althea’s face. “Stay back! I’m warning you!”

“What are you going to do with that, white girl?” said Althea, aping for an imaginary camera again.

“Oooh, you better watch out!”

“Hmmm?” asked Althea. “What are you gonna do with that?”

Althea advanced towards Carolyn, who quickly glanced at her, then at the dildo, and then back at her again, before suddenly raising the dildo to Althea’s eye level. Carolyn turned her hand and the two-headed dildo sideways, so that each prong was pointed dead-centre at one of Althea’s warm brown eyes. But on seeing this sideways gesture, Althea suddenly burst into uncontrollable laughter. Carolyn, seeing the other android doubled over and laughing hysterically, found it to be immediately contagious.

“Wha- what- what’s so funny?” Carolyn managed to get out.

“Ha Ha Ha… Wha- Was- Was that supp- supposed to be a gu- gu- gun?” asked Althea.

“Wa- What?” asked Carolyn.

“We- Where you- Were you trying to go ghetto on me?” screamed Althea. Then Carolyn got the joke, and both girls were rolling on the floor.

Eventually, the peals of laughter faded into a few stray giggles, and as they did Althea moved in close to Carolyn. She brought her right hand to Carolyn’s left, which still clasped the dildo, but now lay relaxed by Carolyn’s side, and began stroking it with her fingers, gently smearing the anti-bacterial grease across the other girl’s glove. “No, seriously,” said Althea, moving her left hand onto Carolyn’s hip, “What were you planning to do with that?”

Carolyn smiled, closed her eyes as if thinking, and then planted a kiss on Althea’s pillowy lips. The other android reciprocated, slipping its tongue inside Carolyn’s eager mouth. Althea pushed Carolyn back against the receptionist’s desk, and as Carolyn heaved herself up to sit on it she reached around with her right arm and grabbed ahold of Althea’s skirt, slipping her hand underneath to squeeze the other android’s ass.

Althea took Carolyn’s left hand, still firmly clasped around the dildo, and began moving it toward the yawning mouth of the other android’s skirt. Both robots broke off their kiss, and stared intently as the improvised sex toy disappeared beneath the folds of fabric. Carolyn’s pleading eyes met a strangely intense stare from Althea, and her simulated breathing came fast and heavy now, in gasps and gulps. She felt heat and excitement building up inside of her, swelling behind her stretched panties, waiting to burst at the first pin-prick of- WARNING! WARNING! EROTIC CONTROL PARAMETER EXCEEDED. RECALIBRATING.

Carolyn’s legs kicked up into the air, as though her knees had been struck by hammers, and stuck out ramrod straight, the tips of her heels pointed like spears out in front of her. With an electronic *whirrr*, a square section of her back rose up under her shirt, between her shoulder blades, and twisted around, revealing an LCD glow below. Her eyes widened and her face blanked out, like a doll’s face, and she began to tilt her head to and fro, as if confused. Her arms fell slack at her sides.

Her partner’s sudden helplessness seemed to further excite Althea. Sliding Carolyn’s limp palm off of her hip, she thrust her hand against the other android’s panties, and planted a biting, aggressive kiss on its lower lip. “What’s the matter, baby?” she purred. “Am I too much woman for you to handle, huh? Am I too-” WARNING! WARNING! EROTIC CONTROL PARAMETER EXCEEDED. RECALIBRATING.

A *whirrring* rectangle of Althea’s bronzed flesh rose up beneath her white shirt and twisted off her rear control panel. She jerked back so suddenly that, after momentarily swaying to remain suspended in an upright position, she finally lost her balance and went tumbling backwards, her knees rapidly bending to put her well-padded bottom on the floor before the back of her head. She landed next to the BP9000, still smiling comfortably as it did the splits. Althea did not smile, but bore the same stunned, kewpie doll expression as Carolyn as she rocked back and forth, her arms making useless, mechanical chopping gestures.

The two girls continued to mindlessly scan the room with their eyes, emitting loud servo noises as their heads swivelled in different directions, and occasionally shuddering or bucking in place as their internal software parameters reset. Althea’s face swept past Carolyn’s three times without stopping; then, on the fourth go round, it seemed to lock on, and a look halfway between seriousness and exhaustion came over it. The lids of Althea’s eyes closed halfway, not entirely naturally, and Althea began to speak. “Oh,” she said, “I’m sorry, Carolyn.” There was a *beep*, and another shudder. Althea’s voice was both monotonous and sing-songy. “I am required to apologize to you for my previous behaviour. My conduct towards you was not conducive to the maintenance of a professional workplace environment, and was in violation of IRU’s Sexual Harassment Policy Manual, Sections 6, 7, 8, 12, 15…”

Carolyn did not appear to take any notice of Althea, as her gaze continued its own mechanical sweep across the room; a few moments later, however, it seemed to fix itself upon the other android. Her own eyelids dropped halfway, and she began to recite her own scripted monologue in the same bizarre lilting/droning tone. “Oh. I’m sorry, Althea. I am required to apologize to you for my previous behaviour. My conduct towards you was not conducive to the maintenance of a professional workplace environment, and was in violation of IRU’s Sexual Harassment Policy Manual, Sections 7, 9, 13…”

“-in accordance with the IRU Sexual Harassment Policy Manual, section 24, all Class 2 and Class 3 administrative androids involved in incidents of sexual harassment must-”

“-present myself for servicing and diagnostic recalibration at the earliest opportunity. An appointment has been timetabled with Technical Support that will minimize my absence from designated duties-”

“-a request has been lodged with E-Personnel for a replacement android to fill my duties for such time as I am being serviced, or, if it is judged to be in the best interests of IRU Incorporated, on a permanent basis-”

“-please accept my apologies, Althea. I believe you are very physically attractive, and my inability to reciprocate your advances in a physical way is in no way an indication of your physical-”

“-please accept my apologies, Carolyn. I believe you are very physically attractive, and allowed this physical attraction to temporarily interfere with our professional relationship. If you feel, based on my conduct, that such a relationship cannot be maintained in the future, then you are within your rights as a Class 2 administrative android, per sections 31 and 32 of the IRU Sexual Harassment Policy Manual, to request that I, Althea FM 247, be transferred to a different location or position within IRU-

“-as a Class 2(B) administrative android, per section 30 of the IRU Sexual Harassment Policy Manual, to request that I, Carolyn CL 721, submit to a test of my personality software buffers; or, to have my erotic control paramaters manually reset by a human technician, or by a mechanical and/or electronic technician under human supervision, per-”

“-reprogrammed for such purpose; or, if it is not possible or desirable for IRU to repurpose me to a different location or position within IRU, that I be decomissioned following a-”

“-please accept my apologies.”

“...Again, please accept my apologies.”

Carolyn’s knees suddenly bent, dropping her skirt like a curtain over Althea’s perfect view of her pantied crotch. Althea, at the same time, gave Carolyn a momentary glimpse of her own undergarments, pulling her legs back and slapping her pink palms on the ground in order to rise to her feet. Carolyn shoved herself off of the desk and back onto her heels. The androids stiffly strode towards each other like sleepwalkers, stopping about a foot apart. Then Althea stuck her head out and gave Carolyn an innocent peck on the cheek. As she did so, her back panel closed itself up with a *whirr*. Carolyn reciprocated, and her back panel did the same.

The girls suddenly seemed back to being their old, lively selves, as if nothing had happened, and exchanged greetings. "Hey, Carolyn!"

"Hey, Althea!"

Althea smiled, winked. “Are you ready to relax?" she said.

“Oh,” said Carolyn, laughing and rubbing Althea's elbows, "Am I!"

"Well, then," said Althea, reaching into her cloth carrying case, "Let's get out the lotion, shall we?"

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