FYOP/Hollywood Hardware/0026

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As it happened, your college alumni association had invited you to a fancy dinner uptown today, and sent you an extra ticket so you could bring a date. You had told them no, because you were busy—actually keeping your appointment at Hollywood Hardware, made weeks earlier.

But it's an easy matter to call up the alumni association president and tell her you're going to the dinner after all. You've got a nice dress jacket in your trunk; you can change into it easily.

As you put it on, you give Janelle the rundown of the event. "Janelle, I know you're kinda outspoken, but it's really important that you behave. No sex talk, and definitely no... er, taking anybody down. Can you do that for me?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" she says, looking at you like you're crazy. "I'm loud, but I'm not stupid. I'll be on my best behavior, I promise."

You breathe a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Janelle. I really appreciate it."

"No problem," she says. "I'll just have to find something else to do with all this energy."

At the dinner, Janelle is the perfect date. She's charming, funny, and beautiful, and she knows just how to make small talk, charming everyone with her wit and her charisma. She even gets the president of the alumni association to give you a job offer on the spot.

You can't believe it. Janelle wasn't a bit argumentative, and it paid off big time. You're so proud of her, and so grateful that your date went so well.

On the way back to the car, however, as soon as everyone else is out of sight, she slaps you hard on the ass. "Okay, now that that's over, let's go home and fuck like rabbits."

Whoa. Hmm...

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Vanilla sex...
...or a strap-on?