Lina

Lina

Part 1

To this day, I still can't believe that it happened the way it did. Me, a robo-fetishist with what I thought was a joke program on a borrowed phone, waiting in the bathtub “just in case”, and her....

….well, I suppose that's getting ahead of things, isn't it?

For starters, let's just run through the specifics of my status before it all went down: 30-ish, virgin, didn't get out much, aspiring writer and amateur voice actor, with a back catalog of family issues that don't bear elaborating on. How I got the phone is, to be honest, the most mundane part of the whole thing: a friend of my uncle's was upgrading to a new one, let me have his old one as a “starter”. One app caught my eye right off the bat: “FCon”. I had no idea what it was for, but in the interest of discovery, I opened it.

After a few minutes, you'd probably find it easy to understand why I thought it was a joke. From what I gathered, it'd been written to debug and remotely control androids—specifically, female androids (or “gynoids”, if you want to get technical about it). There were settings to “lock on” to a nearby gynoid, trigger her debug mode (or “command mode”, if one was available—this, straight from the in-app help file) and sliders to test motion of individual limbs, etc. Weird stuff...but, me being me, I didn't delete it. Either the guy who'd given me the phone was as big a robo-fetishist as I was, or he had one Hell of a sense of humor...whatever the case, it looked entirely too well-written to just get rid of.

Flash forward three months. My older brother was the reluctant host of a party for the weekend, and some friends would be bringing their girlfriends, with the chance that they'd bring their friends. There was no way he'd be able to pull it off at his place, so I did him a favor and let him hold it at the house—my house, that I got from our parents. I didn't know any of the “guests”; they were all my brother's friends, or friends of those friends, etc., and I knew their interests would skew far past mine. I'd intended to just chill in my room after the party started...except two “guests” wandered in. One was a girl, about my height—5’6” maybe—with pale-ish skin and long red hair; the other was probably her boyfriend, a tall, typical surfer-dude-looking guy whose head was in the clouds. I was about to tell them to get the Hell out of my room (in less polite terms) when I got a phone call (vibration mode—I hadn't changed the ringtone), but they just turned around and left; one of them mumbled a “sorry, wrong room” at me. I couldn’t even find my phone before the buzzing stopped, and when I did, there wasn’t even a missed call in it. Stupid phone…

Half an hour later, I was in the bathroom—doing my business, at first, but then just reading a book on my phone about an expedition into the Arctic that went really, really wrong. I had no desire to go “mingle,” try to start a conversation and either be ignored or told to piss off....anyway. Midway through a bit in the book where two of the stranded sailors suspect another of murder, the phone started going insane. I thought I was getting a call, or a text, at first....

Nope. It was FCon. Twelve notices—it'd been going off sporadically as the guests arrived.

First reaction: “....what?!”

Second reaction: “....there are gynoids here?! Right now?!”

I would've had a third reaction to this, if not for the fact that FCon rather conveniently informed me that one of these alleged gynoids was on their way to the bathroom at that moment—hence the snap decision to jump in the bathtub and draw the curtain. I had no idea if the thing was just goofing on me or not; if it was, I'd just close my eyes, ignore the sounds of whatever was going on outside the tub, wait until whoever had entered the room left the room, and then get the Hell out of there as soon as possible.

If it wasn't.....

I can't even remember how long I was waiting. All I know is that after however long it was, a girl walked in. A bit shorter than me, blonde, nice tan, orange top and jean shorts....and of course, a very nice body. Not too curvy, her butt wasn't cartoonishly big....in short, she didn't look like she was a gynoid. Yet FCon insisted that she was—thankfully, without beeping continuously, otherwise the jig would've been up as soon as she entered the room.

Feeling both adventurous and stupid, I stepped out of the tub, waiting to get yelled at..only to find that the alleged gynoid was on her phone by the towel cabinet. Didn't even notice me.

Might as well see if this thing works. The “Act. Debug” function was highlighted; I pressed it with my thumb and hoped I wasn't just hallucinating.

The girl froze—for a few seconds. Mid-sentence, too. Without even finishing, she turned off her phone and put it back in her pocket....and proceeded to just stand there, staring at the towels. I got closer, despite part of my brain yelling at me to back off before she snapped out of it....except she never “snapped out of it”. I touched her wrist, to check for a pulse—nada. Neck, same reason—not a damn thing. She wasn't even breathing.

South of the Equator, something was stirring. I ignored it...for the time being.

For some dumb reason, I decided to just ask the girl if she was in Debug Mode or whatever. I'd read so many stories on the forum about this kind of thing—usually they were a bit more abrupt, without the niceties of an attempt at conversation, but I figured I might as well try. “....are you in Debug Mode?”

“Affirmative.” She didn't speak in a staccato, obviously synthetic monotone, but the flatness of her voice still sent my pulse racing. Below the belt line, my, ah, anticipation was growing quite rapidly.

“.....what do you want me to do right now?”

Yes. I did indeed ask that question. Don't ask why, I've still got no idea. If this was some big con, or if she wasn't fully in Debug Mode, the next words out of her mouth were probably going to be “let me leave this room”, or some variation of it. There was no way in Hell she'd say anything else....right?

Well, you can imagine my surprise when she stated “I would like you to undress me.”

My eyes went wide (along with something else a bit further down the totem pole). “....ah, what?”

“I would like you to undress me.”

I glanced at the screen of the phone. For some reason, it wasn't showing her name, but it was showing a lot of “levels”, including “Arsl”—which I quickly translated to “Arousal”. Clearly, this girl—this gynoid—had shown up to the party entirely too horny to think straight, but she hadn't done anything to rectify the situation, and could only address the problem in Debug Mode....maybe it was a virus, maybe she wasn't configured correctly. Hell if I know. With a shrug, I carefully set the phone down and went to work removing her top. At every single second, I'd expected her to “come to life” again, grab me by the wrist and scream “PERVERT!” in my face....and every second that went by without her doing that, my pulse rate went up just a little bit more. The top was easy enough to remove, as was the bra; by the time I got to her shorts I was wondering if this whole thing was just some insane dream. Moving her arms and legs to get the clothes off was....surreal, to be honest; she felt a bit cool to the touch, but other than that and her lack of a pulse (or breathing), there was nothing to indicate that she was anything other than human.

Another stupid question came to my mind as I went about my business: “How old are you supposed to be?”

“Twenty-one.”

Well, at least whoever built her wasn't a prick....anyway, after helping her step out of her shorts and panties, I now had the task of figuring out what I was supposed to do with a 95% naked (she still had her socks and shoes on) fembot standing right in front of me.

The fembot in question made the decision for me: “I would like you to have sex with me.”

At this point, I almost legitimately got pissed off. I've said already that I was a virgin, at that point—I'd had a history as a “solo act”, of course, almost always to stuff from the forum. Thus, I found it bizarre and (in my uniquely stupid way) almost insulting that this naked chick was politely requesting I take her from behind.

As if sensing my hesitation, she repeated herself: “I would like you to have sex with me.”

I'd seen a few clips of this kind of thing before, and they were always more.....I dunno, “dynamic”, I guess, than this. At the very least, I (or the relevant part of my anatomy) had in fact risen to the occasion, so what was about to happen wouldn't be a total flop (that was the actual thought going through my head at the time, believe it or not). Before she could repeat the request a third time, I dropped trou, whipped it out and did what I'd been asked to do—gripping her by the waist to, ah, get things where they needed to go, and all.

What followed was unlike any sex scene I'd ever borne witness to before. I was too stunned to make a sound, and my “partner” was utterly devoid of emotion—no orgiastic cries or moans here. She did make the occasional noise, a sort of quiet “oh” or “ah” here and there—but.....yeah. It was weird.

Despite the high strangeness of the moment, I was in fact giving it my all.....

….and somewhere midway through it, I thought, you're on a roll so far, let's see how much further you can go.

Still thrusting away like there was no tomorrow, I managed to say “Turn your head...180 degrees....to look at me.”

If she was a gynoid, what happened next would be amazing. If not....

Thankfully, I didn't have to dwell on the “if not” for too long—a seam appeared at the base of her neck, and her head actually rose up a centimeter or so and rotated to face me! And yes, there was, in fact, a servo rizzing noise to go with it. Even more insane than this, her face had no expression at all—just a sort of calm, anticipatory look.

I'm pretty sure that's what pushed me over the edge. Dropped my payload right then and there.

Once in the depths of sweet release, I let go of her and actually staggered backwards, nearly falling on my ass in the process. She was still standing, surprisingly; her head was still rotated to face me, that patient, calm look still there.

I sat there, gear out, gasping in surprise and shock, for probably a full minute. She stood there, staring, the whole time.

“.....turn.....turn your head back around, please,” I managed, still gasping.

“Affirmative.” The expression on her face never changed as her head turned, lowering back down a centimeter (with that beautiful rizzing again). Once it finished, she was just standing there completely still (and buck-naked).

Seeing as how I'd undressed her, I decided to show my appreciation for the best (and, in all honesty, first) sex I'd ever had by putting her clothes back on her. I didn't really have a lot of other options—I sure as Hell wasn't going to leave her just standing naked in the bathroom for any length of time.

I was a bit quicker in redressing her than I'd been with the undressing—due in part to not wanting some rando to open the door, see what was going on and go yell about it to every other person there. She never acknowledged my actions, by the way, while I was putting her clothes back on her; she just...stood there, the entire time.

Once she was fully (re)dressed, I put my own pants back on (after drying what needed to be dried), grabbed the phone and walked past her to the door. “Ah, follow me to my room, please.”

“Affirmative.”

My room, thankfully, was just a quick right turn away from the bathroom. Even better, there were no randos in the hall, or lingering by the door of my room or anything like that; everyone was either in the living room or outside, playing Frisbee golf (or more accurately, chucking the Frisbee around with reckless abandon and nailing each other in the back of the head with the stupid thing).

“Just...sit on the bed, for now....” I barely acknowledged the “affirmative” that she replied with, instead pacing back and forth next to the bed. This....this was unprecedented. This weird-ass random program on a phone that I was given as a gift just so happened to actually work as a debug tool for gynoids, and the incredibly attractive girl who just so happened to be sitting on my bed at that moment (and who I'd just had sex with) was, in fact, a gynoid.

Right....question time.

“Why did you want to have sex with me?” The stupid question trend continued—I was still basking (or was it sweating?) in the afterglow, and that was the only thing I could think to ask.

“It was the highest-priority task in my process manager.” ….okay, not what I expected...then again....

“And, ah, why was that the highest-priority task?”

“It was assigned by my owner before we left—”

“Okay, okay, just....I get it.” The picture was starting to form in my mind....her owner, or boyfriend, or whoever, thought it'd be a laugh to get her sexed-up and then turn her loose on any unsuspecting rando at the party—probably so he could bust in on them and beat up the poor sod she was with. There was, of course, one flaw in this plan... “Is your owner still here?”

“.....processing....processing....” Every damn time she said that word, I felt stirrings in my gut (and elsewhere).

“.....she is currently outside—”

“Wait, how do you know—she's outside?!” Just one twist after another....

“Her bio-metric signs are being measured by her smartwatch. She is currently unconscious.”

Well, that makes sense.... She'd probably planned exactly what I'd thought, except she derailed her own “brilliant idea” by getting sloshed. “The smart watch isn't, ah, receiving anything from you at the moment, is it?”

“...I do not understand.”

“The watch can send data to you, right?”

“Affirmative.”

“Can you send data to it?”

“I can only send data to the watch if debug mode is activated from the watch.”

I hadn't felt more relief wash over me since the time I'd had to go get my homework off the bus after school. “So she has no idea that you're in here with me right now, then....” I almost laughed. “She's drunk off her ass outside without a clue that you're—”

“Would you like me to activate the watch and inform her of my current location?”

FUCK! “No, no, no, ah, no, that won't be, ah, necessary....” Nice dodge there, genius. “Can you, ah...return to human mode on your own, or do I need to do anything?”

“I am capable of returning to human emulation mode on my own.”

“....okay, then, ah, do that, please.”

She didn't even say “affirmative” this time—all she did was sit there, perfectly still, for a moment. Her eyes glowed for a bit, then she blinked a few times....all the while, I couldn't stop staring. This went on for a few seconds, then something in her beeped (and I felt something deep in the pit of my stomach leap), and she sat a bit straighter...then, as natural as anyone else I've ever met, she turned to look at me, smiling. “Hi, there!”

“.....hi. I'm, ah...Matt. Matt Harker.” I tried for a smile, but probably ended up giving her a half-smirk, half-grimace.

Apparently, this was enough to concern her. “Are you all right? You look like you just—”

“You....ah....do you remember anything about the past few minutes?” Yet another wonderfully stupid question in a day full of them...at least, that's what I thought.

“I know I went into your bathroom, and then you put me in debug mode...” She counted off the moments on her fingers (which, of course, were perfectly manicured). “....I asked you to undress me, then I asked you to have sex with me, and you did.” She smiled again. “Thanks for putting my clothes back on, by the way.”

I'd never had a more awkward silence in my life before that moment. “....so,” I reasoned, “you...didn't mind me, ah...”

She rolled her eyes. “That's what I'm here for,” she replied, giving me an “oh, you” kind of look. “And before you ask, no, I'm not just a sexbot.” She sighed. “Every time we—I mean, me and the one who made me—get invited to a party like this, she ramps up my arousal and tells me to 'have fun'. We've already been to three parties earlier this week, and she never turned my arousal settings down between them!”

“.....you, ah, never actually told me your name,” I mused, sounding about as suave as a dead fish.

“...oh, right! I'm Lina.” The girl grinned again.

“.....Lina,” I repeated, as if what we'd done in the bathroom had somehow drained my brain cells in addition to my earlier “contribution” to her. “Nice name, Lina....”

“Are you okay? I don't mean to pry, or anything, but....”

I managed a nervous chuckle. “Back there, in the bathroom.....that was my first time.”

Lina's eyes widened. “Really? I couldn't tell!”

“Well, maybe you could tell me why it is that your owner turns your horniness all the way up to eleven and sets you loose at random parties,” I snapped—at least, I intended to snap. The combination of exhaustion from the sex and the sheer disbelief at what was going on had taken every bit of anger out of me. “....I thought the most interesting thing I was going to do today was count how many action figures Mattel ever made of the Joker....”

Lina gestured for me to sit next to her on the bed. “You did great,” she assured me. “My arousal levels would still be at maximum if you hadn't.”

“....so, you have to get laid to turn them down if your owner doesn't?”

“One of the quirks of my design,” Lina replied, shrugging. “That, and she thought it was ironic at the time.”

“.....that's pretty fucking stupid. No offense to your owner.”

“Well, she wants me to 'do my own thing'.” Lina shrugged again. “I was built....five months ago, but written probably a year ago. My A.I., I mean....that's what was written—”

“Wait, wait, wait.” I held up a hand. “Your owner wrote...you....first, then made your body?”

“It's complicated.” Lina flipped a bit of hair out of her eyes—it was insane that such a small action made her look so damn human. “Anyway....you have a nice room.” She gestured at the bookshelf (loaded with sci-fi novels, strategy guides and an entire row of manga), my action figure collection and the rack of DVDs.

I chuckled. “You're the first person to tell me that in a long time.....ah, speaking of firsts....”

Lina rested a hand on my shoulder. “You weren't my first,” she admitted, “but so far, you've been the most polite.”

“.....the most....polite.” I gave an eyebrow that The People would've cheered for days. “I used a program on a phone to put you in Debug Mode without asking you—”

“Well, I needed to be put in Debug Mode!” Lina insisted. “I was going to the bathroom to try and call out to find a shop that'd turn my arousal levels back down, instead of staying here and having to deal with the usual parade of guys who swear they're God's gift to the entire female gender.” She rolled her eyes (part of my brain, even at that moment, wanted to call them “ocular receptors”, because meh) at the thought. “I didn't think anyone here even had a copy of FCon on their phone.”

I held up the object in question. “.....the funny thing is, I got this as a gift, from a friend of my uncle's.”

“Let me see....” I handed Lina the phone, and she thumbed through the screens for a bit, frowning. “....how long ago did you get this phone?”

“Three months. Why, is Ricky in trouble or something?”

“....is that what he called himself?” Lina was giving me a suspicious look.

“He was a friend of my uncle's, and my uncle works on exotic cars and arcade cabinets—”

“Interesting...” Lina was focused entirely on the phone, now....and her eyes were glowing. “....three months ago....he was supposed to hand this in....”

Something in the tone of her voice suggested that whatever fun I was having now was about to come to a swift, sudden and probably jail-related end. “....if you want me to give up the phone, you can leave with it. I just—”

“What?”

“.....I'm in trouble, right? For using FCon on you, and the, ah....”

“Like I said, you did me a big favor with that.” Lina gave me a reassuring smile. “It's who used to own this phone that I'm worried about....he went missing two months ago. Nobody's heard from him since then...” She continued thumbing through the screens on the phone. “....you said your uncle repairs exotic cars?”

“...among other things. Why, is he in—”

Lina turned to face me, putting her hands on my shoulders. “What if I told you that what you did for me earlier means you might be able to....have me?”

“.....'have' you?” I was starting to get tired of repeating every other phrase Lina said. “Sorry, I just....”

“...if I told you it means I'd be able to live with you, be your girlfriend or whatever else you need me to be?”

“....I'd ask if this was a prank, first off.” WAY TO GO, CAPTAIN HONESTY!

“It's not.” Lina's smile was warming my heart and embiggening the same thing she'd become intimately acquainted with in the bathroom, all at once. “I'm really, truly telling you this....”

“.....then I'd say.....I'm all for it, even if I have no idea what the fuck is going on.”

Lina frowned. “D'you have to cuss so much, Matt?”

“.....it's a defense mechanism when I get overwhelmed by something I've never had happen to me before.”

“Even if it's something you've....dreamed about before?”

And she knows about the forum. “.....ah....”

My hesitation earned me a sigh. “Look, Matt. My owner didn't think anyone with your particular...proclivities...would be at any of the parties here, and I certainly didn't expect to run into someone running such an up-to-date version of FCon, especially here. I'm not mad about you using it on me, I'm not mad that you had sex with me—after all, I asked you to, remember?” Lina lightly prodded me in the arm. “....I am wondering why you were waiting in the tub—”

“I'd been taking a sh.....doing my business, in there! The phone went off, with twelve signals.....”

“....I didn't think there were that many others here.”

“....yeah, well, I damn near panicked when one of those signals—which happened to be you—actually walked into the bathroom.....” I sighed. “What does any of this do with your question, the whole 'you can have me' thing?”

“....my owner wants to start on a new project,” Lina explained. “And seeing as how I classify as sentient on the charts...y'know what, we don't need to go into details on that now—”

“Go into details about what?”

“....I'll explain later. Anyway, I'm sentient, so she can't just drop me off at the nearest Goodwill or recycling center. She's been using these party-hopping trips to....find someone, I guess, for me. Someone I'd be interested in, romantically and, well, sexually....”

“And I get the part because I just so happen to have an app on my phone that you found useful.”

“It's not just the phone, you doof!” Lina was giggling, now. “....you're just....you! You're not trying to act like you're James Bond or Evan Stone or whoever....you're just you. You didn't cut to 'sweet-talking' me, or just stripping me and having your way with me when I was in Debug mode....you asked.”

“.....and that somehow makes me better than anyone you've been with before.”

“Believe me, Matt, compared to the last three guys I met, you're a saint.”

“Right.....I just....” I chuckled again; my brain was still having issues with trying to wrap around the full details of what I'd just been through. “...I still find it kind of hard to believe that you're a gynoid....”

I stopped, noticing Lina staring at me—not lifelessly, like she'd done with her Linda Blair routine in the bathroom, but with a smile. Her eyes flicked down for a second....directing me to the somewhat-trapezoidal seam that had just formed above her breasts (again, like her butt, they weren't too big...I'd say a high B cup or a low C, at the very least). “...well, go on,” she prompted.

Again, I hesitated; it felt like a full hour before I finally reached out to the skin highlighted by the seam....

...and yet again, my pulse (and something else) started rising when it popped out.

“Removing it won't hurt, if you're wondering.”

“Right, right....” I managed to tug the thing out to reveal what was underneath it...

To be quite honest, before that moment I'd never really understood the use of phrases like “my heart leapt up into my throat” or stuff like that. Now, staring at the exposed panel with its USB port, a 15-in-one card reader and indicator lights for stuff I had no hope of understanding, I was floored.

I heard myself ask yet another utterly stupid (to my mind, at least) question: “....what exactly were you made to do?”

“In all honesty, I don't have a specific purpose or 'directive',” Lina replied. “I started as a coding experiment—” She tapped the side of her head, again alluding to her A.I. having been written before her body was built. “....and the rest was done later, as a home-build.”

“....home-build?” The echo effect, yet again, this time due to me being mesmerized in equal measure by the panel and by how close I was to Lina's boobs.

“Weellll, 75% home build....my parts and such were sourced from the Institute.”

“...and are you, ah, modeled after anyone in particular?” The stupid questions just kept on coming.

“A little bit.” Lina made a “50/50” motion with one hand. “My measurements—height, limbs, all that boring stuff—are basically dictated by my internal frame. Stuff like my drive system—it'd probably be 'propulsion' if I was a vehicle—and some padding...” She smirked, noticing my stare had drifted to one of her boobs. “...anyway, stuff like that can go a long way towards making me look a bit more unique—there's some in my arms and legs, too, not just in the more obvious bits.” She rolled her eyes. “You can cover the panel now, by the way.”

“...cover the....oh, right.” I managed to not put her skin panel back the wrong way around. “....sorry.”

“You don't need to apologize so much, Matt,” Lina reminded me. “I appreciate the sentiment, but...”

“I get it, I get it....” Another chuckle left my mouth. “....you didn't say if your face was modeled after anyone specific, by the way...you don't have to go into it if you don't want to.”

“She designed it herself—my owner, I mean.” Lina glanced off to the side, grinning. “Apparently, it was something she just couldn't get out of her head until she realized it somehow, in some form...” She gestured at herself; it struck me as utterly weird that it'd taken me so long to get a good look at her face—the only thing I'd noticed back in the bathroom was that patient, calm and almost blank look when she'd done the 180-degree turn at my, ah, request. Up close, I could see now that there was nothing too exaggerated in either direction—she was attractive, but not so much so that it might be a distraction.

The height and spacing of her eyes, the positioning and size of her nose, the length of her mouth, the thickness of her lips and the structure of her cheekbones....it all brought to mind countless character creation suites from games I'd played (or watched other people play) over the years.

“....amazing.” It took a few seconds for me to realize I'd spoken.

Lina arched an eyebrow. “My face is 'amazing'?” she mused, sounding equally amused and intrigued.

“....there's something familiar,” I muttered, “but something.....” I reached out a hand to brush her cheek, expecting her to shy away—which she didn't. “....must've taken hours to fine-tune everything.”

“I had a bit of input,” she replied, her voice soft. “I actually got to watch her develop my face, at one point.” Noticing my confusion, she grinned. “A.I. first, body second, remember?” She didn't object to me tracing a finger along the contours of her face; if anything, she seemed...relieved. “The last guy I met at a party like this,” she mused, “said I had lips like a sex doll.”

I recoiled. “...really?!”

“Along with saying it'd be a shame if I 'couldn't fit it in there'....I'll let you guess what 'it' was.” She rolled her eyes at the thought. “Fell asleep midway through, if you're wondering...he was midway through his fifth beer.”

“....has anyone else actually...complimented you on your looks?”

“Pretty sure being compared to a sex doll, a porn star and 'the last three girls I had' aren't what you have in mind.”

“Hell no......” I shook my head. “So they were just....”

Lina gestured at her boobs and her waist. “Purely there for the T & A.” She guided my hand back to her face. “It was nothing like this....it wasn't nearly as....”

“Intimate?” I was surprised at how quiet I sounded.

“Good choice of words there....” She paused for a moment.

“....what?”

“You haven't asked if I want to 'go again', or anything like that.”

“....am I supposed to have done that?”

Lina giggled, which confused the Hell out of me. “What?! Is there some kind of protocol I'm supposed to be following here where we have a heartfelt conversation for a bit and then just get right back to—”

“What's wrong with just talking?” Lina had stopped giggling, but was still smiling. “I don't have a problem with that...”

“.....y'know what? I don't have a problem with 'just talking' either.” I got up from the bed, quickly explaining that I was just going to the kitchen to get a bottle of water. “You won't glitch out or crazy on me if I accidentally spill anything on you, right?”

“Fully waterproofed.” Lina did a funny eyebrow thing. “Just in case you were getting any ideas...”

Whatever I was going to say in protest was cut off by a laugh. “Go get your water...get me one, too, if you don't mind.”

I was in and out of the kitchen faster than I could think—the water bottles were in the mini-fridge, and I was able to get them without anyone in the living room noticing (they were all too busy playing some stupid party game anyway...pretty sure it was “Never Have I Ever” or something along those lines). Bottles in hand, I headed back to my room—somehow thinking that, in the brief span of time I'd been out, Lina had changed her mind about me and left. Thankfully, my brief burst of paranoia was unfounded; she was sitting on the bed reading a book off the bookshelf when I got back, looking up with a smile as I closed the door. “You've got a nice collection here,” she mused.

“The books, or the figures?” I unscrewed the cap on my bottle.

“Both, really....” She accepted the bottle I offered her. “Thanks...it's cold!”

“Straight out of the mini-fridge....it's not going to be a problem, is it?”

Lina shook her head. “On the contrary...” She took a long swig. “....helps with cooling the internals.” She twisted the cap back on, nodding. “I have other cooling methods, but every little bit helps, y'know?”

I nodded, taking a drink from my own bottle. “So...what now?”

“Dunno...unless you want to go again.”

“You just said you didn't have a problem with just talking....”

“I know, and I don't....but when I was in Debug Mode....I did get to 'appreciate' what went on in the bathroom, but...”

“You prefer being in full human mode,” I finished. “Just....this is going to sound fucking stupid....”

“I'm sure it won't,” Lina countered. “And you don't have to swear so much, y'know....”

“....do you have....an internal volume control, or anything like that?”

“Don't want to get any unwanted attention from outside?” Lina was giggling again, twirling a bit of hair between her fingers. “I can put myself on mute if you really want....”

I nodded. “Yeah, that....that'd be great. Last thing I need is one of the randos outside to come wandering in.....”

Whatever I'd planned on saying next trailed off rather quickly—Lina had already started taking her clothes off, from the bottom up. The shoes went first—to my relief, she didn't just kick them off, but actually slid 'em off, one by one, and set them down by the bed. Next, the socks—I swear, I'd never seen any woman manage to make taking off a pair of socks look so damn erotic before. The shorts came next, followed by her underwear; finally, she ditched the top and slowly, carefully undid the straps of her bra, setting it aside as she'd done with the rest.

Once she was fully disrobed, she turned to regard me. “Your turn.”

I tried my best to match her “undress from the bottom up” routine; shoes first (I nearly fell over trying to get one of them off), then socks (this time, I did fall over, backwards onto the bed), then jeans, the shirt and finally my briefs. I had my own reasons for the slow disrobe—among other issues in my life, I'd had a fluctuating weight problem, and as of two years prior had finally gotten things under control...but I still bore a few signs of struggling with it, mostly stretch marks on my sides and inner thighs. I'd stopped wearing shorts for that exact reason, even around the house.

Lina, thankfully, didn't remark on them. She just took me by the hand and helped me into my bed.

“I'll take the lead,” she whispered. “Ready?”

I nodded.....

There are a ton of ways I could describe what happened next. On the one hand, I could start throwing around words like “heaving”, “throbbing”, “pulsing”, “quivering”, “sensual” and all that stuff, but that'd turn this into one of those crappy bodice-rippers (y'know, the ones that have that guy who still can't believe it's not butter on the covers). I could also go the route of mentioning “contractions” from certain “walls” of Lina's anatomy—plenty of stories on the forum have that kind of descriptive language, and more power to'em....but to put it in those terms here would be a disservice to what went on between us. So, in the interests of not sounding like a trashy romance novel, I'll sum it up as follows: it had a slow start, built up rather effectively and gave a spectacular finish, without any dodgy bits anywhere in between.

And no, there was no “Swirl”, “Twist”, “Pinch” or stopping short involved anywhere.

Anyway......

Lina and I laid next to each other for a few minutes, me still gasping, Lina smiling.

“.....was that....as good....as before?” I managed.

“No.....” Lina turned to regard me with a grin. “Better.”

My eyes went wide. “....no kidding?”

Lina kissed me on the cheek. “Nope. You outdid yourself.”

“Yeah, well.....you helped...”

“C'mon.” Lina threw the covers off, looking graceful and absolutely smoldering (metaphorically, not literally...unlike so many of the stories I'd read, our second time didn't end with her in pieces) as she got out of the bed. “Let's go clean off in the bathroom, then we can come back in here and talk....”

“Right, right....” My head was still swimming. “I'll, ah....get the clothes....”

Once in the bathroom (unobserved by any wandering randos, all of whom were still outside and probably still chucking a Frisbee around), Lina invited me in to join her in the shower, and...well, how exactly are you supposed to say “no” to someone so beautiful? We both climbed in, and for the next few minutes, Lina proceeded to scrub me down in what had to be the most...okay, I'm going to break my earlier rule here and use the word “sensual”, because there's no other way to describe it. It was a lot like how she'd undressed from the bottom-up, really—granted, she didn't start scrubbing at my feet and work her way to my shoulders or anything like that...it was more of how it felt.

I did the best I could to return the favor, all the while hoping that she wouldn't start sparking or anything like that—I'd read enough stories on the forum about androids not taking too well to water, and I didn't want Lina to meet a similar fate. In any case, she didn't glitch out, neither of us slipped, and it was a pretty good clean for both of us—granted, we each handled our own scrubbing below the belt line, since I wasn't about to ask and I didn't want Lina to have to ask me, so...yeah.

I let Lina get out first—she made a joke about me just wanting to see her ass, I groaned, and she giggled.

When it came time to dry off, I handed her a towel, and she gently tossed one to me...nothing about it felt like I was interacting with a lifelike robot. Every motion, every look, every glance—if it hadn't been for the phone freezing her, her head turning around and her opening her panel, I never would've known she wasn't human.

Granted, who she was meant just as much to me as what she was...

After we got dressed—which saw me nearly try on Lina's top by accident, prompting another giggle fit from her—we both headed back into my bedroom. There was...maybe one girl in the hall, on her phone; she didn't notice either of us, and actually looked kind of nervous—I couldn't tell, since the light was off, but she gave the impression that she was trying very hard to not be noticed by anyone else there.

I wrote it off after a while, and just made my way back to my room with Lina—the matter of what she was had already been firmly established. Now, it was time to ask who she was....

Right off the bat, she clarified that she didn't even have a last name yet. “I've had a few, over the weeks,” she admitted, “but those are just in case I get stopped. I've been working on getting some new papers made, for legal reasons...” She rolled her eyes. “Other than that, I can't really complain.”

“And you live with....the one who made you?”

Lina nodded. “I don't mind calling her my 'owner',” she admitted. “She doesn't treat me like I'm 'hers', either...she lets me do my thing, as long as I don't get in trouble.”

“...and your own thing is....”

“Shopping, hanging out, looking for work...” Lina shrugged. “The party thing—me going with her from party to party, like this one.....that's a bit more recent.”

“Sounds like a pretty decent arrangement...what's the catch?”

“The 'catch' is, I don't advertise my true nature or get in trouble.” Lina sighed. “I've done a pretty good job at both...or at least, I was doing a good job at both, until you kinda sorta maybe forced me out of the first one today—not that I'm complaining, or anything.” She grinned. “Like I said, you did me a favor by using FCon back in the bathroom.”

I nodded. “I'm still trying to get that into my skull, y'know...why the Hell is the inside of my mouth so damn dry?” Lina looked a bit concerned, but I waved it off. “...I'll just head to the kitchen, real quick...get a bottle of water or something to drink, then be right back...feel free to, ah, check out my books if you want!”

Lina nodded, heading over to the shelf and picking one at random.

True to my word, I headed back to the kitchen to get two more bottles of water—that nervous-looking redheaded girl from before was just standing around, not really talking to anyone—and then headed back to my room. Lina was back on the bed, still reading. “Welcome back,” she beamed, accepting the second bottle. “I would've finished the first...”

“I figured this would be better than cigarettes...I don't smoke anyway.” I shrugged. “So, now that we, ah....”

“Know each other intimately?” Lina offered.

“Yeah, that.....what now?”

“Well,” Lina replied, “there was a bit more to me offering to go a second time.” She set the book aside and motioned for me to sit next to her on the bed again. “Before the whole transfer of ownership thing could be completed—”

“You needed a sample of viable genetic material from me?”

Lina frowned. “....what?”

“....sorry, it's just....I watch a lot of sci-fi shows, read a lot of novels....I just thought—”

Lina cut me off by kissing me on the cheek again. “I get it. I've watched a lot of shows and read a lot of novels too, y'know...Lucy doesn't just have me march around the house cleaning up after her all the time.”

“Lucy ....your owner?”

“Mm-hmm. Like I said, she's starting on another project—no clue what it is, but it's probably another A.I./android thing, and she can only have one with her at a time...” She draped an arm around my shoulder, grinning. “The whole idea of party-hopping to find someone for me was....a mutual concept,” she admitted. “I didn't have a problem with it, and she thought it'd be an interesting test.”

“So she decided to try out your social interaction by...party-hopping.”

“Let me put it this way, Matt. If you'd met me out there, in the crowd with the rest of those people, without the phone....would you have been able to guess I wasn't human?”

“.....in all honesty, no.” I chuckled. “I still find that just....amazing, y'know...”

Lina nodded. “....and all of this, going from one party to another, getting with guys....I've never been able to ask any of them what I'm about to ask you, because we never really got that far, so....” She put her hands on my shoulders, staring into my eyes. “....do you accept me for both who I am and what I am?”

I didn't hesitate. “Yes. I accept you for both.”

“And you're not just saying that because—”

“Lina,” I cut in, “from the moment we....ah....” My bravado faltered a bit. “....ever since we met each other, over in the bathroom, and since we've been talking in here, I've been thinking about nothing but spending more time with you, getting to know you—and getting to know how to fix you, how to make sure you're running at peak efficiency, how to upgrade you if at all possible...and most importantly, just being with you.”

To my surprise, Lina's eyes were brimming with tears—I thought, at first, that I'd massively botched it and said something completely insensitive, until I noticed she was still smiling. “Really?”

“......yeah. Really.”

Without another word, she wrapped me in a hug. “.....thank you, Matt.”

“Yeah, well...” I couldn't think of anything meaningful to add, so I just returned the embrace, letting her weep tears of joy into my shoulder. A few minutes passed before we broke the embrace; Lina dried her eyes, the smile still on her lips as she did. “ Lucy is going to flip out....”

“Hopefully, in a good way...” I retrieved the phone. “I'm still wondering....”

“The other eleven signals?”

I frowned. “....you some kind of psychic, too?”

Lina stuck her tongue out at me, which I found irresistibly adorable. “I've been thinking about them, too, to be honest...if my arousal levels hadn't been at the top of my priority queue, I'd have pinged one or two of them, maybe fired off a wireless question asking who they were with...”

“But first you had to go sort out the 'me so horny' problem,” I finished. “Which led to...”

Lina mussed my hair and giggled. “How many of those stories on the forum end this way?”

“Before I answer that, tell me this: have you been on the forum before?”

“A few times, always as a 'guest'....I actually thought about signing up, but Lucy told me it'd probably be a bad idea to pass off selfies of myself as 'photo manipulations'....” Lina took another swig from the second water bottle. “Said she'd send me to Reclamation if I ever tried to intentionally damage myself for a 'photo op', too.”

“....Reclamation?”

“Long story, I'll explain later.” Lina nodded at the bookshelf. “So....you said you're a writer?”

“Aspiring writer. There's a difference.” I chuckled. “Aspiring writers are lucky if they get anything published, especially if they have to worry about relatives always pitching lame ideas and proposing 'their ways' of rewriting old TV shows...” I crossed to the other side of the shelf, returning with the Inspiration Notebook—or rather, the current year's “edition” of the series of notebooks that I'd written down my most interesting dreams in, occasionally working them into ideas. “All of these are mine,” I explained, handing it over to Lina. I watched her thumb through the notebook, nodding her approval. “And you've turned all of these into books?”

“Short stories, mostly....but I did get one novel written, based on my dreams.” I pointed to a novel on the top shelf, with Dreams of a Steel Falcon written in one of those “retro-futuristic” fonts on the spine. “Took a while to work everything into a coherent 'plot', and all that...but once I managed to hammer out the basics, it all came together pretty quickly.”

Lina got off the bed and picked up the book, flicking through it in record time. For a first novel, it was kind of...I guess the best term would be “elementary”. It's a standard kind of story—small-town guy longs to meet a girl, small-town guy meets girl who just so happens to be on the run from dark forces, girl turns out to be the last hope for her people, girl turns out to be an incredibly powerful android....okay, maybe not all of it was standard, but it did draw comparisons to a few other works (all of them favorable, thankfully). Once Lina closed the book—about twenty-five seconds later—I sat down by her. “Well?”

“...you could tell I was reading it that fast?”

“Call it a hunch...seriously, though, what did you think?”

“Well....” Lina handed me the book. “I liked it. The pacing was...off, in a few parts, and at least a few of the secondary characters were kind of....I dunno, annoying, maybe?”

“The salesman,” I muttered. “That salesperson alien who talks like a used-car dealer.”

Lina actually snorted as she giggled. “...I wasn't gonna say anything...”

“Every review—Every. Single. Review—has mentioned that one character.” I flipped to the page where said character first appeared. “He was supposed to just be a one-off, but....I kept thinking of more and more stuff for him to say, how he'd react to others....he just sort of got away from me.”

“Well, he didn't completely wreck the story,” Lina assured me. “The one friend of the main character was kind of nice.”

“If it's the one I think you're talking about...” I rolled my eyes. “I actually made the local news when this was published,” I added. “The real irony there is that I stopped watching the local news way the Hell back in 2015....well, after things got a bit....stupid....”

I felt Lina's hand on my arm. “You don't have to go into details about it if you don't want to.”

“....thanks.” I headed back to the other side of the shelf, picking up a rather thin binder. “And these,” I stated, “are the only ideas my brother ever put down to writing before he got pissed off at me and decided to throw himself back into his desk job just because I tried to give him a bit of constructive criticism.”

Lina took her time reading the binder, occasionally making a face at what she found on the pages. “...he actually wanted to write books based on these ideas?”

“He wasn't even thinking of books,” I scoffed. “He was thinking of TV series, or even movies....”

“....of this?!” Lina recoiled at one page in particular—I knew exactly which one.

“Apparently, he thought his 'vision' was a lot better than what any fans of the show 'ever knew they wanted'.” I couldn't help but think back to when he'd pitched the idea to me, how proud he seemed to be of it...and how oblivious he was to the fact that only he would ever find his interpretation of that particular show to be anything remotely resembling “entertaining”.

Lina flipped a few pages ahead. “.....this page is all just...sentences.”

“Oh, that one...” I sat down next to her, going over each line and shaking my head. “He thought it'd be a great idea to take the 'GDAF' approach to reworking the show.”

“....GDAF?” Lina echoed, frowning.

“Grim Dark As Fuck.” I rolled my eyes. “And he never had full outlines, for his ideas, or bullet-point lists of personality traits and such for his characters....he could never nail down anything like that. I had five folders' worth of notes for Dreams of a Steel Falcon, and damn near everything from those made it into the book....” I gestured at the binder. “..all he could ever come up with was that.”

“...well,” Lina admitted, “there's....a glimmer of what might be a sliver of a decent idea, buried in all of this...I mean, if he took his time and made notes, he might actually have something worth working with.”

“....you really think so?”

“Well, if he put some time into it, definitely...” She gently set the binder down on the bed. “....just, not that.”

“You've summed up in five minutes what I tried to tell him for five years.” I chuckled. “He probably wouldn't take your advice anyway...the only thing he ever wanted to hear in relation to his efforts was 'I'd watch it', or 'I'd buy it on DVD'. I tried to tell him—dozens of times—that nobody was going to watch what he wrote...” I picked up Dreams of a Steel Falcon again. “....when this got published—I mean, not right after, because right after it hit the shelves he was all 'Glad for you, bro', slap on the back, stuff like that....but then he actually read it.”

“...and?” Lina was perched on the edge of the bed, wide-eyed.

“He was pissed. And I mean royally pissed. He just 'couldn't get' why people actually liked what I wrote. After a few weeks he went back and basically regurgitated his own ideas into what he claimed to be a novel—changed all the names, but if you knew what to look for....anyway, he went to my publisher, asked if they'd release his book, too.”

“What'd they say?”

“Laughed his ass out of the building. He set his manuscript on fire in the sink that night.”

Lina looked genuinely sorry for him. “....that must have been terrible for him...”

“He says he got over it...I have my reasons to doubt him.” I sighed. “Y'know....you're not acting at all like....GOD, this is going to sound so stupid....”

My hesitation seemed to brighten Lina's mood. “I won't think you're stupid for asking it...I don't act like what?”

“....like a robot!” I actually laughed. “You're using contractions when you speak, you don't just sit there and stare at the wall when you're done talking, you move like a real person...” I shook me head at the sheer weirdness of it—“it” being either my situation or the fact that Lina was the least robotic gynoid I'd ever...encountered, pretty much (not to mention the first).

“Would you prefer it if I act. Like. A. Robot?” Lina's voice went into a deliberate monotone as she spoke, stiffly rising from where she'd been sitting on the bed.

“I'd prefer it if you act like you.” I ignored the growing, ah, enjoyment of her brief performance. “Not some..blatantly fake robot act, or anything, but just you.”

Midway through a halting, robotic step towards me, Lina stopped. “....really?”

“....yeah. Really.”

Any tenderness the moment might have had was lost when the door flew open to reveal...that girl I'd seen in the hall, on the way back from showering off. Lo and behold, she was also one of the two guests who'd barged into my room earlier, when the party was just getting started. “Ah, hi....” I arched an eyebrow at her.

“....this isn't the bathroom...” She glanced over her shoulder, as if regretting being in the house at all.

“Just take a left from here and you'll find it.”

“.....thanks.” She turned on her heel and pulled the door closed; a few seconds later, the bathroom door slammed shut, and the taps on the sink were turned on.

“Well....” I returned my attention to Lina. “That...happened.....” I let my words trail off as I noticed her hands on my shoulders. “Like I was saying...I prefer you acting like you.”

“.....y'know, Matt,” Lina admitted, “I prefer acting like me, too.” She grinned, drawing me closer to her....

….and the door flew open again. This time, it was some guy—the one who'd walked into my room earlier, with the redhead. “....did a girl just come this way asking where the bathroom is?”

“....slim, red hair?”

“You saw her?”

I nodded. “She's in the bathroom now.”

“Right, thanks...” The guy closed the door, apparently not interested in the fact that he'd interrupted such an intimate moment between Lina and myself.

“....so, now that that's over—”

Lina gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. “I think we should save the rest for later,” she murmured. “Otherwise we'll just keep getting interrupted....unless you want to just lock your door.”

“Can't. Long story.” I sighed, remembering how the old doorknob had broken and actually locked me into my own room once, forcing my dad to bust out the sledgehammer to bash it off. “The door to my brother's room doesn't lock either, though you can blame Mom for that one...her way of settling an argument between us over taking each other's stuff. She didn't talk to us about it, or offer some other way of mediation....she just had Dad go and saw off part of the door frame so the door couldn't actually lock.”

“....that sounds kind of stupid,” Lina admitted. “I mean, Lucy doesn't have a problem with me having my own room, at her place—“

“And I wouldn't have a problem letting you have a room here, either.” I assured her. “Once the paperwork is sorted out, and all that stuff....and you're positive that she wants me to...ah, 'have' you?”

Again, Lina rested her hands on my shoulders. “I think even she'd realize that you're the best possible choice, Matt.”

“Well, I guess I can take that as good news.” I tried for a smile again—judging from Lina's reaction, I managed to actually get it right, instead of looking like I was shot up with Botox. “The weird thing is, I thought this whole party would just be friends of my brother, and friends of his friends, all that crap....”

“I think your brother works for a firm that does business with the Institute,” Lina explained, glancing at the chair by my computer desk; I nodded, and she took a seat. “Lucy didn't give me a lot of details, but she did say that she wanted to talk to him for a bit, maybe get an estimate on....something, I dunno.”

“And yet she's passed-out drunk outside.”

Lina giggled. “She might've just messed with the smartwatch to make it read that way...in any case, your brother never really went out and mingled with people apart from telling everyone not to break stuff or steal anything.”

“He doesn't really do parties this big,” I explained. “He's got his own place—a small apartment in the city—so he had to talk me into doing this one here, and I kept coming up with excuses not to, but it didn’t matter...” I shrugged. “At least he didn't go out there and act like the whole thing was my idea...” I let my words trail off. “Do you, ah....hear that?”

“....the sink still running in the bathroom?” Lina cocked her head a bit.

“Yeah. That girl turned the taps on when she went in...”

“Maybe she's washing her hands,” Lina offered.

I didn't immediately respond to her guess. Instead, I headed for the door, opening it as quietly as possible and making my way to the bathroom....the door of which was wide open. Lo and behold, the girl wasn't there, nor was the random guy who'd barged into my room looking for her. “....everything okay?” Lina was at my side in an instant.

“....they left. The girl and the guy.” I frowned. “Something's going on, here....”

“Maybe she just called him and told him she didn't feel comfortable being here anymore,” Lina mused. “Or maybe she got sick...it could've been anything.”

“....maybe.....” I turned off the taps. “...something about this....”

Lina guided me back to my room. “....whatever it is, I'm pretty sure we won't have to worry about it.”

“I'm not so sure....they were in my room earlier, before I went into the bathroom, but they walked out before I could ask what they were looking for. My phone kind of went off...that's why I had it out in the bathroom, even when I was, ah...”

“I get it.” Lina rolled her eyes. “You don't think...”

I shrugged. “Wasn't even thinking about it at the time, to be honest. I'd seen them when they first showed up, maybe said 'hi'.....after that, I was just kind of on autopilot.”

“Well, maybe...” Lina paused, frowning.

“Something wrong?”

She nodded to the window—which had been blocked off by a gray plastic cabinet meant to hold clothes. “I think you might want to break up the 'party' outside.....”

I groaned, heading for the bathroom (again). “Back in a sec!” Sure enough, some idiots had started fighting in the backyard; someone had gone to intercept the Frisbee and “accidentally” grabbed someone else's girlfriend's ass.

“Oh, GOD....this is...this is just unbelievable. There's a fight. It's ending with a fight.” I chewed my lip, shaking my head as the stupidity unfolded. “I knew...I just knew that if we had a party here, it was going to end with a fight....”

“Everything okay?” I hadn't heard Lina enter the bathroom. “I thought for a second that you'd gone outside...”

“No way in Hell am I going to try to break that up.” I nodded at the two jock-types beating the piss out of each other on the grass. “I happen to like having functional kidneys....and more are joining in.”

Lina craned her neck to get a better look, frowning. “What even happened?”

“One of the idiots went to grab the Frisbee, got a handful of ass instead.” I'd already turned away from the window.

“Did you see which girl it was?”

“....ah, the one with the white tank top, the star tattoo above her ass and the long black hair.”

Lina focused on the girl in question, standing away from the fight and looking concerned. “....I think she might be one of the eleven.”

“.....you're shitting me.”

“I'm not—also, you really need to cut back on the swearing.” Lina's eyes—now glowing a soft green—narrowed.

“And what's with the Demon Headmaster routine?”

“I'm trying to scan her, not hypnotize her.” After a few seconds of staring, Lina nodded. “Yeah, she's definitely another gynoid. Can't get a make, model or manufacturer, but she's on the WiFi now, trying to contact her owner.”

“.....so the guy she's here with isn't her owner?”

“My guess is, he borrowed her for the party....” Lina frowned. “Also, she's probably going to need a recharge soon.”

“Ah, while I'm thinking about that...how are you faring on that regard?”

Lina glanced at me, grinning. “Topped up before I left with Lucy. I won't poooooowwwwweeeeeeeeerrr......” She froze in place for a moment, and I nearly reached out to tap her shoulder to see if she was okay—all the better that I didn't, because she stuck her tongue out at me again. “Sorry, couldn't resist.”

“....I'm starting to think you've read a lot more from the forum than you let on....”

“You can't say you didn't enjoy that...” Lina smirked, allowing her gaze to wander below my belt line.

“Twice in one day is enough, I think. For now, we need to—”

Further down the hall, someone let out a battle cry and charged—not towards the bathroom, thankfully, but through the kitchen and living room. “....oh, Hell....”

“Who was that?” Lina asked, frowning.

“My brother. And I'm pretty sure he has either the tennis racket, the bat or the 9-iron....” I nearly charged out of the bathroom to go stop him, but Lina's hand on my shoulder convinced me otherwise. “Let's just wait until all of that dies down, then we can go wake Lucy up...or I can, at least.”

“....fair enough. Also...you've actually seen The Demon Headmaster?”

“ Lucy has the whole series on DVD.” Lina grinned. “She has...eclectic tastes—”

Something hit the wall under the bedroom window from outside, causing Lina to flinch and me to almost fall over ass-backwards. “The HELL?!”

“I think everyone's trying to leave at the same time...” Lina tried to get a better look—only to duck down just before that stupid Frisbee smashed into the window. “I'll go check on Lucy, make sure she's okay...”

“Good call. I'll go make sure the cat is safe—she's probably hiding under the bed, what with all the randos around...”

“You have a cat?”

“Lucy's not allergic, is she?”

“I don't think she is...” Something else hit the window. “I'll go check on her, you go check on your cat.”

“Right.” Lina and I ran out of the bathroom—Lina heading right, at the end of the hall, with me taking a left turn.

As predicted, the cat was hiding under the bed in what, years prior, had been the master bedroom. With my dad out of state and my mom...well, with her also out of the house on a permanent basis (not dead, if anyone cares), the room had yet to be fully cleaned out. Mom's books had long since been given away, and Dad had taken his essentials (CPAP gear included) with him, but the bed—or rather, beds—were still there.

The cat was, indeed, hiding under them, not so much stressed out or panicking as she was bored.

“....good call, cat,” I muttered, nodding and giving a thumbs-up to the cat.

Predictably, the cat just stared back at me, as she tended to do when she was thoroughly uninterested with things.

I headed into the living room, hoping that Lina and Lucy were okay....

...and giving a quick “yes!” as the side door opened to admit Lina back into the house. “Lucy's up, now,” she stated. “I told her about, well....” She grinned.

“I get the idea. She's okay with it?”

“She is, but there's some paperwork to fill out before it's over with—it'll probably take a few days to sort. Three, at the most....anyway, you'll only have to sign one thing. How's the cat?”

“Hiding under the bed.” I chuckled. “Her standard procedure when she gets bored, or just wants to chill out.”

“Kind of reminds me of Lucy,” Lina giggled. “Except she goes to her office instead of under the bed...” The sound of many feet rushing across the carport cut her off. “.....guess everyone's on their way out, now.”

“Hopefully before....” I groaned; my brother had managed to get in between the two meatheads who'd been fighting earlier, and was now capering around with the 9-iron like a deranged Musketeer, swiping at one of the guys. The girl Lina had identified as another gynoid was trying to talk him out of it; another girl (presumably the girlfriend of the other pissed-off jock) was carefully moving past the fracas, heading for one of the cars still parked on the grass and grabbing her boyfriend's arm. “....guess they've already had enough.”

Lina nodded. “Probably...and your brother is chasing the other one back into the yard....”

“Oh, for fuck's sake....” I nearly charged past Lina, but again, her hand on my shoulder was all the persuasion I needed to stay put. “....you, ah, might want to go join Lucy in the car,” I muttered.

“Trying to get rid of me?” Lina teased.

“Not so much that as I don't want you to get caught up in the rush of idiots peeling out in the grass...my dad would get pissed, if he was here......”

Lina gently turned me away from the door. “Just for the record....this has been awesome.”

“And it'll stay awesome once the paperwork is signed, I hope...”

Lina's smile brought back that “heart leaping into the throat” feeling again. “It will.” She leaned forward and gave me the best goodbye kiss I'd ever received in my life (and the only one that was lip-to-lip, what with the rest having been from relatives). “I'll see you again in a few days.”

“Ah....we could....maybe e-mail each other, between now and then....” I fumbled for a piece of paper and a pen.

Lina smirked, glancing at my pocket—and something in it started vibrating. “...the Hell?!”

“I left my e-mail address on your phone. Don't share it.” With one last, playful grin, she gave me a quick peck on the cheek, then turned to head out the door, giving a no-look wave as she walked away. “Bye for now!”

“....yeah....ah, bye for now!” I nodded, throwing a quick “Love you!” in at the last minute; Lina turned, acknowledging it with a smile and a mouthed “Love you, too”. I didn't watch her go up to Lucy's car, choosing instead to go fall over on the sofa, replaying the events of the past hour or so in my head. Just on a hunch, I looked at my phone—sure enough, there was Lina’s e-mail address, as well as—to my surprise—a picture of Lina in the “Photos” section, along with plenty of FCon confirmations, including some from the past few minutes...weird stuff indeed. From now on, things were going to be interesting...and I had no idea just how interesting they'd get, in the coming days.....

Part 2

To this day, I still can't believe that me not having a smartphone would've been one of the best things to ever happen in my life. The fact that the phone I got ended up landing me the girl of my dreams (in more ways than one) is even more insane....it took me a while to stop expecting that I'd wake up one morning and find that it was all just some weird-ass dream I'd been having. Thankfully, it wasn't.....anyway, where was I? Oh, right...

Lina had just left my house, and I was on the sofa, still in a blissed-out daze as to what had transpired. My brother, after chasing off the last two party-goers with a 9-iron, proceeded to utterly ignore me in favor of pacing around the living room ranting about a bunch of random topics I barely paid attention to. Eventually, he either picked up on the fact that I wasn't listening or got bored and stalked off to his makeshift room—I say “makeshift” because, ever since he got a job, he'd managed to find himself an apartment uptown and spent more of his time there, only showing up to help with the bills and make sure the lease was up-to-date.

As for me....well, after being lost in thought for about half an hour or so, I finally remembered that I did, in fact, have the rest of the day to get through. I went back to doing what I did best—working on my novel and petting the cat, once she'd finally emerged from under the bed.

Dinner, my nightly routine and sleep passed by in a sort of haze...

The next two days were pretty much uneventful. Apart from the usual calls from Mom's old “friends”, offering their blatantly-fake sympathy for her situation (their messages were deleted without a second thought) and a voice message from my brother telling me he was thinking of pursuing charges against one of the “guests” from the party (something about the use of a frisbee as a potentially dangerous weapon), there was nothing too interesting. I did have a great e-mail exchange with Lina, thankfully; according to her, Lucy had no problems with the transfer of ownership, and the paperwork was going well.

The only really weird thing that happened the first day after the party was a black van—not even a van, more like some kind of tricked-out Suburban, really—passing by on the block, doing at least three laps at various points in the day. I had no idea who the Hell would want to decorate a Suburban to look like a stealth van or something, but I didn't really pay any attention to it….

...though I'll admit, I couldn't help but shake the feeling that whoever was driving it was watching....

Anyway, Post-Party Day 1 was uneventful—oh, and I went back to the forum, of course, but...obviously, after having been with Lina, the manips and stories.....none of it really felt the same. I mean, yes, they were well-written and well-made, but knowing what I knew, that there really were androids and gynoids out in the world (or at least gynoids...though somehow, I couldn't really believe that the female of the “species” were the only ones out and about), it kind of lessened the impact of everything available for “consumption”.

So...yeah. Post-Party Day 1....not a lot to write home about.

Post-Party Day 2: the local police decided to show up, on the grounds of a well-meaning complaint from a neighbor in regards to the idiots fighting in the backyard. Thankfully, I wasn't being charged with anything—I had, after all, been otherwise engaged when the fighting had started, and hadn't attempted to actively encourage or promote the brawl, so I was in the clear. I answered a few questions, gave as good a description of the lunkheads who'd been beating the piss out of each other as I could, and generally tried my best to not give any false information.

The only noteworthy thing about that: one of the female officers noticed my phone, and gave me a bit of the old side-eye throughout the questioning. I barely thought anything about it, at the time...Hell, my initial impression was that she might've been apprasing me—as in, making sure I wasn't giving off any obvious vibes that might mean I was lying. In any case, she and the other three officers ended up with plenty of notes, and left without incident.

I did wonder, later in the day, about that one female officer...in the end, I chalked it up to wishful thinking.

Just after the cops left, Doug Kreski—a buddy of mine, who'd missed the party the day before on account of having to tend to a family issue—called me up on the landline. We'd lost touch after high school, and from what I understand, he kinda sorta maybe ended up on a downward spiral...but he'd cleaned himself up and was now dedicated to making amends and pretty much living life to the fullest (and cleanest). “MATT! How'd the party go, man?”

“Pretty well...kind of sucked without you there.”

“Eh, next time I'll show up the day before, camp out in the yard...can't miss it if I'm already there, amiright?”

I chuckled; Doug always had a knack for “out-there” ideas. “Dunno if that's how it works, but....anyway, you didn't miss much. It ended with a fight.”

“Man, your brother can't even throw a party right....anything else happen?”

“Well, I.....ah, I met someone.”

“Whoa, what?! You actually met a girl?!”

“....yeah.” I grinned. “Completely out of the blue. Her name's Lina.”

“Nice! What's she like?”

“In terms of looks, or personality?”

“....uh, both, I guess.”

“Amazing. She's blonde...a few inches shorter than me...as far as body type, she's...beautiful....” I checked my phone, scrolling through to get to the Photos folder where Lina had left her picture.

“Damn, man! Sounds like you landed a real five-star score!”

“She's not just a 'score', Doug. She's nice, polite....she even pointed out everything wrong with Fenton's ideas, but actually said there was potential if he scraped away all the crap....” I chuckled again. “Took five minutes to sum up what I've tried to say in five years.”

“She didn't meet him, did she?”

“She saw him run out with the 9-iron to break up the fight....” I rolled my eyes at the memory. “I actually just finished talking to the cops about it. Nobody's getting charged with anything, but I've got a feeling Fenton isn't going to let it go any time soon. He went on one of his rants last night....”

“Man, Fenton just needs to chill. Doesn't he have a girl of his own?”

“Last time I checked, yeah...hey, ah, I'm not doing anything else important for the rest of the day. You up for grabbing a bite up-town, catching up...all that shit?”

“Hell yeah! Everything's sorted on my end...I'll be there in five!”

“Nice...you've still got the camper van, right? Not the Probe?” Doug, for the past five years, had driven a clapped-out Ford Probe with entirely too many modifications, half of which only he knew how to fix.

“Chris wrecked the Probe two months ago, dude—wasn't really his fault, though.”

“Damn....sorry to hear that. I'll be ready in three. See you later, Doug!” I ended the call, chuckling—Chris Whitaker, Doug's “partner-in-crime” for many years, had a history of driving like a fiend at any given chance. “This should be a fun little interlude....” I glanced at the cat. “You'll be okay here on your own, right?”

The cat, being a cat, just stared at me, looking as bored as usual.

“.....I knew you'd say that.” I grinned. “Just don't claw the recliner too badly, okay?”

The cat yawned at me and curled up on her perch by the front door.

Four minutes later (Doug always has a habit of showing up early if he can help it), a camper van skidded to a stop in the drive way, followed by three honks of the horn. “YO, MATT!”

“GIMME A SECOND, DOUG!” Once my shoes were on and I'd said a quick “bye for now” to the cat (who returned the gesture by just staring at me), I was out the door, giving Dave a high-five/hug combo under the carport. “You,” I declared, “look like you've been seizing the day with a vengeance for the last five years.”

Doug laughed. “You look pretty damn good yourself, man! How's it hangin'?”

“All is well, and all things shall be well.” I gave him another high five, and we both headed back to his van. “SO, where we heading for lunch? You have any preferences, or...”

“We can just hit up a place on Fast Food Alley, man. I'm not picky.”

“Really? I thought you'd gone vegan or something.” I climbed into the passenger side of the camper van.

“I'll just get a salad or something...you can get whatever you want. I'm not a judgemental vegan.” Doug cracked up. “I swear, my girlfriend's ex-roommate, Traye...you can't even have milk, cheese, eggs or meat in the house when she's around! She, like, 'senses the aura' or some crap, and she starts freaking out and moaning, saying she can hear the Earth screaming....weirds me out every time.”

“....'hear the Earth screaming'?” It was such a weird-ass line, I couldn't help but laugh.

“Hell if I know, man....anyway, let's go! I'm starving...”

Fast Food Alley, obviously, isn't the official name of that particular street uptown, but it's the one that fits. Every single chain/franchise food place that has a presence around town has a restaurant on Fast Food Alley—at least a quarter of them are family-owned places, but the rest are all national. The drive was pretty short, maybe fifteen, twenty minutes, at the very most; we ended up settling on a family-owned burger joint, namely because the fries were great, Dave and I both had discounts there, and they didn't have one of those stupid ball pits that snakes like to hang out in.

The phone actually buzzed when one of the girls behind the counter stepped up to take our order; I couldn't help but think even here?, before Doug finished his order and I had to give mine. The girl in question looked...attractive, in a plain sort of way—maybe “plain” isn't the right word for it. She looked kind of like an actress playing someone working the counter for a TV show, or something...kind of a polished, almost “produced” look to her. Whatever the case, Dave and I got our orders down and found a place to sit.

“So,” Doug mused, “this Lina...”

“She's awesome. Read my first book—she had the same reaction as almost everyone else to the salesman...”

“I told you that one was gonna be a standout, Matt!”

“Yeah, well....she didn't complain about it...” I retrieved my phone, scrolling to the picture that Lina had included—more than likely for a situation similar to what I was in right now. “Here's a pic, if you were wondering....”

Doug glanced at the image, his eyes going wide. “Whoa.”

“I'm guessing I understated it when I said she was 'beautiful'....”

“Yeah, you understated it! She's friggin' gorgeous, man!”

“I'm sure she'd take that as high praise...in any case, she's getting some stuff sorted, and she'll be moving in with me in two days. I'll probably let her have Fenton's old room, since he's got that swank place of his own now.” I rolled my eyes at the thought. “So, ah...”

The door chime binged, and I got a nice big dose of déjà vu—the pale, slim redhead and the surfer dude from the day before walked in. Both of them seemed more interested in the girl who'd taken my order (and Doug's); the surfer dude even went so far as to ask for her specifically.

“...you know those two?” Doug asked, frowning as he moved to get a good look at the pair.

“They were at the party yesterday. Barged into my room, twice...first, when it was just starting, then later, when I was talking to Lina.” I watched the pair—they were almost quizzing the girl behind the counter, asking when her shift ended and that kind of stuff....and she obviously didn't want to talk to either of them.

“That dude looks like he's been on some downers, or something,” Doug muttered. “Like he's not all there, y'know?”

“He does look a bit...out of it, actually....” I frowned. “And the girl looks like she doesn't want to be here.”

“I'd rather eat here than at Frenchy's....” Doug cut himself off as another girl—blonde, with her hair in pigtails and looking like a a “Queen of the County Fair” type—approached, bringing our food. “Here you go! And....” She set down a glass of Sprite on the table in front of me, and a glass of water in front of Doug.

“Thanks.” I nodded—and slid my phone back to my side of the table before Doug could catch the FCon notice.

“....so, ah, this Lina...” Doug took a bite of his salad, nodding his approval. “You got, like, any plans for the future with her, or anything like that?”

“...what, you mean like marriage?”

“Well, yeah!” Doug waved his fork for emphasis—thankfully, the tomato on the end didn't fly off and hit anyone. “I mean, don't get pissed, man, but I kinda never really saw you as...I guess, the marrying type....”

“I never saw me as the marrying type either...but that was way before Lina.” I paused to take a few bites of my burger, my thoughts drifting back to how I'd told Lina that I wanted, more than anything, to be with her—and her tearful, smiling reaction to it; I nodded—both at the memory, and at how good the burger was. “I can't imagine life without her, now.”

“Man, you've got it together,” Doug stated, grinning for emphasis. “Your own place, a girlfriend....”

“'My' place,” I echoed, rolling my eyes. “My place that my folks....my dad left me, after '15....all the work put in, and all the times they said Fenton was going to get it, and he goes and gives it to me. I still remember what he said, before he drove off: 'You take care of this place, Matt. You take care of it, like we took care of you your whole life'.”

Doug nodded solemnly. “How's he doin' these days?”

“Not sitting on his ass in some lounge and getting fat on Clams Casino, that's for damn sure.” I took a pull on my Sprite before continuing: “He's out touring the country with Uncle Byron...biking—well, motorcycling, really. They said something about building a cabin up in Washington State, just getting away from it all for a few months.”

“Sounds like a plan to me. Any, ah....news, about....”

“My mom?” I was surprised at how calm I sounded.

“....we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, man—”

“They've agreed to not call me unless her outbursts end up hurting someone.” I punctuated the statement by taking another bite of my burger and washing it down with a swig of Sprite. “The last time they called was four months ago, just when I was about to be on the news to talk about my new book. Other than that, nothing.”

“...what about the funeral?”

“What, Granddad's, in January?” I scoffed. “She got in an 'altercation' the night before...they revoked her pass.”

“Shit, man....that's....it sucks to hear that, seriously.”

“Eh, well....” I shrugged. “The same time her mental health went on the downward spiral, his physical health went that route. Everyone was surprised at how long he held out, really....”

Doug nodded. “Which one of your cousins tried to say you were a sociopath for not crying at the funeral?”

“Almost all of them from my dad's sister's family. Fenton went and told one of 'em, that one told the rest, and they all think I'm 'emotionally and psychologically unstable'.” I rolled my eyes and reached for a handful of French fries. “If they had as many negative memories of him as I did, they'd know why I didn't cry...anyway. How's everything on your end?”

“Other than my girlfriend hoping she doesn't have to go to court over the stupid lease agreement—”

“What, the one she signed with Traye?” A few fries fell out of my hand. “Her ex-roommate?”

“Traye kicked up a big stink with the homeowners' association, told 'em that Missy's behind on her payments or some lame crap like that. And Traye's brother's cousin's friend is a lawyer, apparently...” Doug threw his hands up. “Hell if I know when it's gonna get sorted—” A few notes of a punk rock song trilled from his pocket. “I bet that's her right now, man.” He sighed, checked his phone... “Damn it.”

“It's her?”

“Worse. The homeowners' association. I gotta take this, man.” Doug got up from his seat, heading for the men's room.

“I'll be here,” I called after him, getting a no-look thumbs-up in return.

Out of boredom, I decided to take a look around the other booths, see who was sitting where—surprisingly, the surfer guy and the redhead had taken a seat near the center of the restaurant. The guy, for some reason, looked like he had no idea what he wanted off the menu, and the redhead kept kicking his shin under the table, doing a pretty bad job of trying to mouth suggestions without looking conspicuous.

He must be on something a lot stronger than downers, I realized. Either that, or....

The redhead kicked the guy in the shin again—and this time, he replied by yelling “What?!” and throwing an arm out.

Now, this would've only caused something of a scene, had it not been for the fact that the same waitress who'd set the plates at the table for Doug and me was walking by, with a full tray of drinks (and cutlery), when the surfer guy swung his arm out—predictably, it caught her in the midsection, she dropped the tray (spilling the drinks in the process), and proceeded to slip on the drinks and accidentally stab herself in the side with a fork on the way down.

The redhead instantly got up from the table, without a word, and headed for the exit, looking like she was about to have a panic attack. The surfer guy, on the other hand, only barely realized that he'd incapacitated the waitress...

...and then, as I was looking from the waitress to him, he looked up at me.

Slowly, as if he'd just realized that I'd caught him in the act (whatever “the act” was), he got out of his seat at the booth, stepped on the waitress' arm (I legitimately thought he must've been on something insanely strong not to notice her) and followed the redhead out to the exit.

As soon as the door chime sounded, I was out of my chair, grabbing napkins to help wipe up the spilled drinks—and, by proxy, keep them from getting to the hole in the damaged waitress's side. Knowing what I did about Lina, I guess I wasn't as surprised that this girl was a gynoid, too. “You okay?”

“...I'm fine....” The wince on her face and in her voice told me the waitress was anything but fine.

“You've got a fork in your side. Pretty sure that's not 'fine' by any standard.”

“What...” The waitress turned, seeing the utensil embedded in her side, and groaned. “I didn't even feel it...”

“Do you want me to, ah....” Considering the implications, I grabbed another fork before making a pulling motion.

“....yeah.”

I wrapped a napkin around my hands (part of me didn't want to get a sudden shock from pulling the fork out), and I did the best I could to cleanly yank the fork out of the waitress's side—the only other customers on “my” side, or in any of the booths closest to where she'd fallen were card-carying members of the Grey Hair Brigade, so none of them saw the sparking hole or the metal underneath her uniform shirt. “....can you stand?”

“....I...think so...”

“Lemme help...” I offered my shoulder, for the waitress to put her arm around, and gently guided her to her feet.

“What's going on here?”

Normally, after hearing that question asked in such a commanding tone, my instinct is usually address the situation (and the speaker) as quickly as possible...but given the fact that I had a damaged waitress gynoid leaning on me for support, I had to take it a bit slower than usual. “The idiot sitting at this booth clocked her in the stomach, and she spilled her drinks and slipped....” I turned, slowly, doing my best to not emphasize the hole in the waitress's side. “And she, ah, accidentally stabbed herself with a fork...”

The woman who'd asked what was going on could've been in her early-to-mid 40s or late 30s, depending on hair, makeup and clothing choices—I'm pretty sure that her smile would've been a lot easier on the eyes than the suspicious stare she'd chosen to focus on me. “And the 'idiot' in question?”

“Left,” the waitress admitted. “There was a girl with him, a redhead....”

“She left first,” I chimed in. “He, ah, left after he noticed that I'd seen him...”

Someone from the other side of the restaurant called out: “I saw 'em both! They were having some kind of argument, and then the guy just swung his arm out and hit your waitress in the stomach!” I wondered, for a second, if he'd heard of the concept of the “indoor voice”.... anyway, the copper-haired 40-something woman—looking distinctly managerial in what I could only guess was a tailored jacket, blouse and fitted, knee-length skirt—nodded. “And you're sure you're not..hurt, too badly, Jess?”

“It's just a scratch, ma'am.”

“I, ah, did my best to wipe up the spilled drinks,” I added. “So, ah, nobody else would slip, or anything.”

The manager regarded me with a look—at that moment, I could tell that she knew I knew what had really happened. “I see. And you are...”

“Matt. Matt Harker.”

Another waitress showed up to help Jess, leaving the manager to talk to me. “...thank you, Mr. Harker.” She turned to walk away, but paused. “I suppose it'd be heartless of me to not show some level of gratitude for how you helped Jess, so...” She turned and handed me a folded envelope. “And I'll have you marked down for bottomless fries on the house for the rest of the year.”

“....thanks, ma'am.” I nodded, shook hands with the manager and stepped aside to let her pass before heading back to my table. The elderly patrons sitting all around gave no indication that they'd understood anything from my exchange with the manager; I had to wonder if any of them even knew that the waitresses were gynoids, or if they even knew what gynoids were.

Doug emerged from the bathroom about three minutes later, shaking his head and looking more than a bit pissed off.

“....everything okay?”

“The homeowners' association needs 'sworn testimony' about my gf making all her payments on time...” Doug half-fell into his seat, groaning. “Man, I'd sell the tires off the van just so I wouldn't have to put up with this...”

“I'm sure you'll get it sorted sooner or later.” I shrugged and took a pretty big bite out of my burger.

“I'd rather not have to sort it, man,” Doug muttered. “How do you put up with it?”

Despite the burger being mere inches from my mouth, I decided to reply. “With what?”

“Your own place, and all that...you don't seem all that stressed about being a struggling writer and having to pay bills all the damn time.”

“Aspiring writer,” I corrected, doing my best not to chuckle. “There's a big difference between 'aspiring' and 'struggling', believe me...I can't even say I'm 'aspiring' anymore, since I did get a book out—and I've got another one on the way, if all goes well.” With that, I finished off my burger and fries. “Well, I'm done—wish we'd had a chance to talk more—”

“S'not your fault, man.” Doug checked his phone again. “I gotta get back to my place anyway...work on my 'testimony'.”

“I'm sure you'll do fine. You want the salad to go, or what?”

The drive back to my place was uneventful—apart from some idiot cutting across three lanes of traffic and getting horns and middle-fingers from everyone else on the road (except Doug). I got back home in one piece, thanked Doug for the drive (we'd split the bill for the meal), and headed back inside to say hi to the cat and get on with the day.

The only other calls I got that day were from my brother—again, mostly him rambling about the idiots who'd been fighting out in the back yard, which somehow turned into a screed on “right of free passage and travel”, and then just went so far off the rails I just stopped paying attention. I actually focused more on playing with the cat than listening to the rest of the call—good on my part, since my brother had to go “do a thing” after a few minutes, and ended the call.

Yet again, I headed back to the forum....and yet again, I felt like it was kind of a letdown, after Lina. The level of creative thought and editing was there, of course, but....

I knew, or at least suspected, that if I posted on the forum about what'd happened with Lina, nobody would believe a word I wrote. Oh, they'd say it was a Hell of a story, of course, but none of them would ever take it for anything remotely resembling the truth...and in all honesty, I wouldn't blame them. There'd been some uproar over some footage from '15, back in that year, something about a courthouse, being proof of “genuine fembots”, but it had died down after the admin nuked the thread on the grounds of not wanting to get sued. I hadn't seen it, personally, but from what I heard from those who did, it was...interesting.

Anyway, apart from lunch with Doug and the thing with the waitress, the Post-Party Day 2 went on, as boring as ever....

...actually, no. Not exactly like the day before.

That black Suburban, the one doing slow laps from the day before, was back—I first noticed it making “stops” all up and down the street at around ten past one. Didn't see anything of the people driving it, but I did notice people in these weird getups exiting the vehicle, asking questions to anyone out in their yards. Once or twice, they'd knock on a door, get an answer, and either leave or commence with the quizzing.

Now, normally, I'd chalk this up to a simple door-to-door campaign, maybe an election-season thing or some kind of fund-raiser, but this...this felt different. It felt ominous.

Somehow, I couldn't shake the feeling that whoever these people were, they might be after Lina and Lucy.

By extension, that might mean they were after me.

The Suburban never stopped at my house, of course—well, didn't pull up the driveway and park, I mean. It did stop in front of the house, four hours later...midway through watching TV, I saw it just...parked there, middle of the road, for a good five minutes or so. Nobody got out, nobody approached the house....

...but I knew that someone was in that Suburban, watching me.

Needless to say, I pulled the shades down and made damn sure the doors were locked after that thing drove off.

I didn't mention the Suburban in my e-mail to Lina that evening—I didn't know if she knew about it, and I didn't want her to panic just because some randos in a Suburban decided to drive around going door-to-door. I didn't even know if they had any connection to Lina and Lucy...whatever the case, I tried not to think about it. Fed the cat, did the usual, ate dinner, went to bed...all the usual stuff.

The only weird thing about that night—the only really weird thing—was the dreams I had. A few of them were pretty interesting, and would've made for some damn good scenes for the novel....but one in particular stood out. I was in a city, somewhere—skyscrapers, dark alleys, the works—and that damn stupid black Suburban was following me. The alleyways and such became a maze, with me running through and trying to find shortcuts to figure out how to put as much distance between myself and that Suburban as I could. Even when I couldn't see it or hear it, I felt like it was following me...it was creepy as Hell, and I wasn't surprised that I woke up in a cold sweat.

Thankfully, the rest of the dreams I had that night weren't nearly as weird—and they went in the Inspiration Notebook.

Post-Party Day 3 started like the rest. Got out of bed, fed the cat, usual morning routine...nothing weird. As soon as I sat down to check my e-mail, though, I knew the day was going to get interesting. Right at the top of the inbox, I saw a new message from Lina.

Title: “Coming Over Today w/Lucy!!!!”

Basically, the e-mail itself elaborated—the paperwork had been finished, and Lucy would be showing up around lunch, probably. Lina even sent a pic of herself and Lucy to celebrate: she was wearing a pink top and white shorts, smiling and giving a sideways “peace” sign to the phone camera. As for Lucy, she looked...bored. I could guess she was around my age, just from the photo; her skin tone was half a shade darker than Lina's, and while Lina had taken her hair out of the ponytail she'd worn it in at the party, Lucy had apparently decided to put hers (dark brown, almost walnut bordering on black), up in one. Her attire suggested someone who'd done the “desk jockey” thing for a while before deciding they hated it—a dress shirt in a sort of neutral grey-blue, glasses, black pants and one earring.

I took another shower, despite having bathed already the night before (I alternate between showers and baths, given the circumstances), and did the best I could to spruce myself up before Lina and Lucy showed up—better to make a good impression on Lucy than come off looking like a total slob....

The cat, naturally, found this routine rather “blah”, and just went about her usual business.

As the clock ticked on, I started to fall into that thought trap of baseless worrying: “what if they got stuck in traffic?” “What if Lucy changed her mind?” “What if they got into a wreck?” “What if...” and so on, and so forth, and lah-dee-fuckin' dah. It's a problem I used to have a lot, before Dad left and Mom....also left; I went to counseling to get over it, and it's never been that bad since then, but I didn't want it to get that bad. Last thing I needed before Lina and Lucy showed up was to look like a babbling fool.

Thankfully, I got my shit together and calmed the Hell down. I decided against dressing full-on corporate casual, and just went with jeans, a good shirt and a quick once-over with the comb, etc.

Just to make a good impression, I ordered out for lunch—pizza, specifically, which I went for as soon as possible so it'd be done and delivered before Lina and Lucy showed up, if at all possible. Thankfully, the delivery guy showed up five minutes before 11 AM (I tend to keep a loose “schedule” in terms of stuff like lunch). I didn't start on my own slices before Lina and Lucy showed up, and pretty much just watched TV, did Internet stuff and kept an eye on the cat.

10 minutes after the pizza guy left, Lucy's car pulled up in the driveway. At least, I assumed it was Lucy's—I hadn't gone out to watch Lina leave on the day of the party, after all...

Thankfully, the first one out of the car was, in fact, Lina. She smiled and waved as she made her way to the side door; she looked as incredible as she had during the party, and just seeing her again brought back those warm, fuzzy, “heart in the throat” feelings from that day. We shared a quick hug when she got to the door...

...a moment only slightly dampened by Lucy calling out “That's him?” from the car.

“Yes,” Lina insisted. “If you hadn't been so out of it the last time we were here...”

Lucy didn't immediately reply to Lina's remarks, choosing instead to give me a glare as she made her way into the front room. She didn't acknowledge the pizza boxes on the kitchen counter, and headed for the sofa instead. “...anybody else around here?”

“Just me and the cat. My brother has a place uptown...he drops by sometimes. Pretty sure he won't be here today.”

Again, Lucy didn't immediately reply. “....you got pizza?”

“Will you stop?” Lina cut in, shaking her head. “You already said he fits the bill for the kind of person you wanted me to be with, so quit acting like he's not worth your time.”

“I never fucking said he wasn't worth my fucking time,” Lucy shot back, turning her glare on me again.

“.....I, ah, didn't know if you'd had lunch yet,” I admitted. “Also, ah...does Lina eat, or....”

“I can eat—it's not essential to my function, or anything, it just helps me blend in.” Lina shrugged. “You want a few slices, Lucy, or....”

“I'll get it myself.” Lucy grunted, pushing herself off the couch and heading for the kitchen

“....is she pissed off at me, or something?”

“She'll warm up to you soon enough.” Lina grinned. “I think she just likes seeing how people react to her, at first...don't ask me why.”

A few minutes later, after we'd all enjoyed a substantial portion of the pizza, we sat back down in the living room—me in one of the recliners, Lina by the computer and Lucy, once again, on the sofa. “You live here by yourself?” Lucy asked, sounding only slightly less pissed-off than she'd been earlier.

“Like I said, my brother drops in from time to time.”

“Parents?”

“Dad moved out of state.....” I gave a quick, humorless chuckle. “Mom got committed to a mental institution.”

Lucy didn't hesitate to follow up on that particular remark. “Why?”

“.....back in 2015, she saw....something on TV. I don't even remember what. She kicked up a big stink, called us into the front room—Dad, my brother and me—and told us we were going to uproot, leave everything behind and move to Nova Scotia to live off the land, or some weirdness like that. She was half-screaming, half-crying the whole time, going on about Satan and the powers of darkness and a war against God....said she wanted to protect us all from Hell, yadda yadda yadda.” I rolled my eyes at the memory. “Dad got up, told her she was full of shit and left in the truck. Turned out he was going to the courthouse and the church to have the marriage annulled.”

Lina looked horrified; Lucy still looked bored. “....and?”

I frowned. “Mom refused to accept the annulment, said Dad was being used by Satan to drive the family apart. Dad put a restraining order on her, she kept showing up. We'd go to holiday get-togethers—Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, all that stuff—at relatives' houses, Mom would show up and start ranting.” I stared at the floor, my fists clenched. “I lost a voice-acting gig because she showed up at the studio, waving a crucifix and a Bible and screaming at everybody about how 'her son was being perverted by sin', all that shit....could've made $7,000 off of that one gig, and I had to give it up. Then she chased off my brother's girlfriend, nearly ran her over with a stolen car....”

“And they put her in the padded cell after that?”

I tried to glare at Lucy, but couldn't find the anger. “...Dad, my brother and I all signed off on it. She'd stopped taking her meds for bipolar disorder in favor of spending her nights at church, praying by herself. Whatever she 'heard' on those nights, I'm pretty damn sure it wasn't the Voice of God.”

Lina moved to the other recliner, next to the one I was in. “That sounds horrible....”

I shrugged. “Everyone in the family said Mom was always a little bit off,” I admitted. “Uncle Frank was surprised it hadn't happened sooner.” I scoffed at the memory. “Last time she showed up, after she'd been committed, was when the last of our dogs had died...she showed up in the middle of the night, trying to give a funeral mass over the grave. A neighbor heard the commotion, chased her out of the yard.”

Lucy arched an eyebrow. “....and you haven't heard from her since?”

“Her, no. Her stupid, bitchy 'friends'? All the damn time. They call, trying to offer their 'sympathy', always giving their 'thoughts and prayers'....they're half the damn reason she's in the rubber room now.”

Lina put an arm around my shoulder. “I'm so sorry you had to go through all that, Matt....”

“Eh, she's in high-security now. No chance of escape, unless there's an earthquake or someone raids the place.”

“....so what about you?”

“Aspiring novelist and occasional amateur voice-actor.”

Lucy nodded. “Lina tells me you two fucked—”

“Lucy!”

“.....you two had sex in two different rooms.”

I rolled my eyes. “The bathroom and my room.” I got out of the recliner, sighing. “Follow me....”

A few seconds later, the three of us stood outside the bathroom. “She was standing here, by the towel cabinet, when I triggered Debug Mode on the phone. Asked her what she wanted—”

“I know. You did it standing, right?”

Lina groaned, but I nodded. “Sort of between the cabinet and the back wall of the tub. I asked her to turn her head around, 180 degrees....”

“...why that in particular?”

“It was the heat of the moment! I wasn't about to start reaching for panels or anything like that!” I glanced at Lucy, who was actually smirking at my indignation. “Nothing wrong with a good old twister,” she admitted, nodding. “So after you finished up in there...”

“We went back to my room.” I gestured to the door. “We talked, she went back into human mode...”

Without preamble, Lucy walked past me into my room. Lina just rolled her eyes and followed her in, with me close behind. “....a Sailor Moon figure?” Lucy muttered, picking up the item in question.

“That's S.H. Figuarts,” I shot back. “I happen to like the series.”

“I have the series,” Lucy casually replied. “Blu-ray.” She went over the rest of my collection—books, DVDs, figures, and everything in between. “You ever have anyone else in here?” she inquired. “Friends, casual acquaintances, co-workers, hookers—”

“LUCY!” Lina was obviously pissed off, but also trying her best not to giggle.

“.....Lina was my first time. And my second, obviously.” Lucy's barbs were annoying, but not enough to piss me off like all the stupid crap I'd had to put up with in high school and my first attempt at a job. “Didn't hear any complaints from her.” I glanced at Lina, who nodded.

“.....all right.” Lucy sighed. “Back to the front room.” She brushed past me without a word; I glanced at Lina, hoping for an explanation, but she just shrugged. I decided to let her leave first, following her back to the living room.

By the time we were all situated again, Lucy asked to see my phone. I handed it over, despite feeling a wave of utterly random paranoia that she'd smash the thing on the floor. “....you got this from a co-worker of your uncle,” she mused, scrolling through the apps. “Right?”

“He was trading up to a new model, I got that as a 'starter'.”

“And you never tried to use FCon before the party?”

“I thought it was a joke,” I insisted. “It had never gone off the way it had at the party...and before you ask why I was hiding in the tub, I was in the middle of doing my business—”

“Taking a shit, you mean.”

Lina buried her face in one hand, but I soldiered on anyway. “.....might as well go with that. I was....doing that—well, reading a book after finishing with...that—and the phone went off with a dozen 'confirmed' signals. Then one of them started moving towards the bathroom....”

“So you hid. In the tub.”

“Lucy...” Lina didn't look nearly as pissed off as she sounded. “I already explained all of it to you—and for the record, you're the one who never bothered to check my arousal levels between parties!”

Rather than argue with Lina, Lucy handed me back the phone. “Right. Just a few more quick questions. You get off to reading malfunction scenes before?”

“Yes.” I figured lying at this point wouldn't do me any favors.

“And would you ever intentionally damage Lina for—”

“Hell no.”

“....would you ever alter Lina's personality, erase her memories, or—”

“No.”

I got another arched eyebrow from Lucy, but rather than wait for her to ask another question, I decided to just go for the gusto. “Just because I get off to stuff from the forum, I'm not going to start trying to play that out with Lina. I told her I love her for who she is and what she is, and I'm not going to prioritize one over the other.”

After a few seconds of silence, Lucy nodded. “....didn't even let me get to the questions about girl-girl, but—”

“Lucy....” Lina was flat-out giggling now. “We've been over that before...” She glanced at me, doing her best to keep a straight face. “....if that ever came up, though....”

I held both hands up. “You really, truly want to try it, I won't stop you.”

Lucy was looking at her own phone, now. “Well, unless you've been studying method acting, you're not lying through your teeth, so....” She smirked again. “Lina, do the thing.”

“Which one—”

“You know which one.”

Lina giggled again. “Okay, okay....” She turned to glance at me, whispering “I think you're going to like this, Matt...”

Without another word, she rose from the recliner—in the stiffest, most robotic way possible.

My eyes went wide. My pulse raced. A familiar increase was making itself known below the belt line.

I watched, transfixed, as Lina took a lap around the room, walking in that perfect, staccato robotic walk I'd seen so many times before in videos...except she did it a thousand times better. She even did that thing where she'd jerk a bit after moving, like that “compliance” feature in animatronics. Every second she moved, the air around me seemed to warm up just a little bit more...I couldn't look away.

Lucy was watching, as well—probably still smirking the whole time, especially at what happened next.

After completing her circuit around the room, Lina robotically approached me. Without a word, she spun on her heel, then dropped her butt right into my lap and proceeded to give the sexiest, most robotic lap dance I'd ever seen.

Anyone taking my temperature at that point would've probably thought I'd come down with a massive fever.

I did, in fact, reach out to her a few times during her dance, but somehow, I couldn't bring myself to actually touch her at any point. Nervousness was beginning to take hold, alongside the....stirrings....and I actually glanced at Lucy at one point, unsure of what, exactly, I was supposed to do next.

To my surprise (and relief), she nodded, as if to say “go on.”

Slowly, gently, I reached out to touch one of Lina's legs...and felt something jolt through my whole body. I could feel the motors move beneath her skin...I heard the servos rizzing away with every motion.

Before I could pull my hand away, Lina grabbed it, mechanically dragging it up to her side.

My jaw went slack. Something like “uhhhgwahhhhaahhhh” left my throat. I thought the zipper on my jeans was going to explode if things didn't calm down in that particular department

Lina did a picture-perfect, fully-robotic ass shake before turning on her heel, dragging my hand along her stomach as she dropped (robotically) repeated the motion, and faced me. That calm, patient expression she'd had while in Debug Mode had returned, but now it was subtly giving way to a seductive, playful smirk—all accompanied by those delightful little servo sounds that only served to make my brain think I was in a sauna. She released my hand, allowing it (and that arm) to fall limply by my side, before robotically making her way to the center of the living room. She gave a jaunty salute (or as best she could do while moving like the sexiest animatronic I'd ever seen in my life), winked....and then proceeded to bend at the waist, her arms going limp, in the most textbook display of a “power-down” sequence I'd ever seen.

I nearly fell out of the recliner, a half-conscious “huhh-whaaahhhh” kind of laugh leaving my lips. I could tell I had a mile-wide, nearly delirious grin on my face, and couldn't have cared less. No video from the forum, or from anywhere, had come close to what I'd just borne witness to.

Lucy, now actually smiling, nodded again and snapped her fingers.

Lina straightened, her movements once again lifelike and fluid. “Well? How'd I do?”

“Huuaaahhh....” I was still in the grips of pure, unfiltered bliss from what I'd just seen.

“I think he likes it,” Lucy mused, chuckling. “Might want to give him mouth to mouth, just to be sure...”

Lina shot her a look before turning her attention back to me. “You did like my, ah, routine....right, Matt?”

“.....yes,” I managed, nodding for emphasis. “HELL yes!” My insane-looking grin remained, albeit in a manner that didn't make me look like I'd be better off running around in a purple suit and green hair. “That.....was amazing!”

“Those dancers and mimes try way too fucking hard sometimes,” Lucy drawled. “I mean, some of them are good, I'd say 9 out of 10....some of them don't give a shit, or they lose the rhythm halfway through....” She shrugged. “Figured it'd be nice to see how an actual gynoid could pull that kind of thing off, for a change.”

I glanced at her, then at Lina. “....I'd say.....you did one Hell of a job.”

Lina's smile warmed my heart (and, rather surprisingly, helped to quell the swell below). “I'll take that as good news.”

“As much as I hate being the moment-killer,” Lucy cut in, “you still have to sign a thing...”

“Right, right....” I nodded. “Think you could, ah...” I continued nodding as Lina let me exit the recliner. “That was just...I mean, wow.”

“And she didn't even take your pants off,” Lucy chuckled; Lina stuck her tongue at her. “Just give him the form...”

A tablet PC with the “Paperwork” on it was presented to me, complete with a stylus to actually sign my name. “Easier to carry around than a bunch of loose sheets,” Lucy explained, noticing my hesitation. “And I figured you'd want a pen instead of trying to write with just your finger....”

“Right, right...” I read over the text, making sure there wasn't any “fine print” or anything dodgy like that. With Lina looking on, and Lucy feigning impatience, I signed. “....done.” I handed the tablet back to Lucy, who nodded. “A few things, before I leave. You can tell your dad and anyone else who asks that you've met someone—do not tell them anything further. I'll drop off some repair supplies tomorrow, and all of her documentation. She doesn't come with a remote, and she doesn't need one, either.”

“'She' is standing right here,” Lina reminded her, planting her hands on her hips. “And perfectly capable of hearing you.”

“....in case you couldn't tell already,” Lucy continued, “she has no problems with sarcasm, irony, hyperbole, metaphor or any of that shit. She won't take things literally, she won't misinterpret a request or command and break something, and that extends to you..” She chuckled. “And she doesn't have any wiring or coding errors that'll cause her to strangle you during sex....of course, if you're into that—”

“Lucy...” Lina gave her a warning glare.

“....it's a fucking joke, seriously....anyway.” Lucy nodded. “You need any extra tech support, you call me. You two tie the knot, you let her pick the rings, the venue and the band for the reception...might as well let her handle catering, while you're at it.” She checked her phone again, going over something and muttering to herself; after a few minutes of this, she nodded again. “Lina, you know the rules about open-panel selfies...I see any on Instagram, I'll be here with the screwdrivers in thirty minutes—and you don't encourage her.”

Lina rolled her eyes; I settled for nodding again. “Wouldn't dream of it.”

“Glad to hear it. And if things get too fucked up and you can't fix her yourself...y'know what, I'll just send the address to my place straight to your phone. I always get bored just rattling it off.” She held out her phone, pointing it at mine; as it had when Lina sent me her e-mail address, the phone vibrated—this time, in my hand. “Just bring her to my place, and I'll get her back up and running in no time.”

“Got it. Anything else we need to know?”

“....yeah.” Lucy sat down on the couch, prompting Lina and me to take our seats again. “The guy you got that phone from worked at the Institute, like I do now....key word there, worked. Past tense.”

“....he also worked with my uncle Frank, three months ago,” I mused. “Also past-tense. Haven't seen him in ages.”

“Well, you might want to hope it stays that way. He got in with a weird crowd before he went missing...anyone calls you up, asks if you have his phone, tell 'em to fuck off unless they have proof. Actually, even if they have proof, tell 'em to fuck off.”

“....and why should I tell them to fuck off if they don't have any proof of ownership over the phone?”

Lucy scowled. “Take a wild fucking guess.”

Lina gave her a look. “Lucy....”

Her admonishing talk did little to derail Lucy's mindset. “Those other eleven gynoids at the party? Name anyone else you know who would've had that phone, and wouldn't have called all eleven of 'em into one room for a nice big gynoid orgy.” She rolled her eyes. “...anyway, that phone should've been recalled and wiped before you got it...but seeing as how you didn't go off and have a fembot fuckfest—”

“Lucy!”

This time, Lina did get Lucy to knock it off. “All right, all right...anyway, never let that phone out of your sight.”

“Wouldn't dream of it. And if I need to put Lina into Debug Mode?”

“That's what FCon is for.” Lucy groaned. “I'm not saying you can't use the phone ever again...just be careful with it.”

“Got it....” I glanced at Lina, frowning thoughtfully.

“You've got that look on your face,” Lucy mused. “That 'I have a crapton of questions to ask' look...I see it way too often at the Institute, usually from people who got sloshed instead of studying.”

Lina giggled. “You're one to talk about getting sloshed, after the party...”

“ANYway.” I propped my chin up on one hand. “....I do have a lot of questions.”

“Well, make 'em quick. I need to get back to the campus before 1, otherwise I'll be knee-deep in the shit.”

I nodded. “For starters....the hair.” I reached over, taking a strand of Lina's hair in my hands and letting it fall through my fingers. “Does it need to get cut? Is it just a swapable hair piece, like a wig?”

“Swappable hairpieces, for the time being. I couldn't get the resin-emulsion sub-dermal capillaries to work right....”

Noticing my somewhat glazed-over look, she groaned. “She can't grow her own hair yet.”

“....fair enough.” I nodded. “What about strength, speed, etc....”

“She won't accidentally flatten the cat by petting it or anything like that. Hard-coded limiters.” Lucy smirked. “Even if some rando douchebag hacked her and ordered her to kill you, she'd go into a failsafe loop and shut down, rather than break your neck.”

“....glad to hear it.”

“Nobody's going to try to hack me,” Lina assured me, leaning over to give me a quick hug. “Even if they had another copy of FCon, they wouldn't have my AAP—Administrative Access Permission....I kinda sorta gave you that when I was on the phone in the bathroom, trying to call out to a shop.”

“...you gave me access permission,” I echoed.

“Well, it all worked out in the end, didn't it?”

“...yeah....but how—”

“She could fucking tell your fucking phone had the fucking app on it, so she fucking let you fucking put her in fuckin' Debug Mode,” Lucy snapped, earning an annoyed glare from Lina. “Anyway....”

“What do I do about charging her?”

Lucy glanced at Lina, who prodded at her exposed navel—pushing it all the way in, then drawing her finger (and the “flesh” of her belly button) out to reveal a port. “Her cord's in the car,” Lucy explained. “Don't plug her into a power strip to recharge, it might cause a brownout in your house. Use a wall outlet, or if you've got a generator, you can hook her up directly to that—and obviously, if there's a storm going outside...” Lina covered her charging port again.

“I get it.” I nodded.

“She can bathe herself,” Lucy continued, guessing my next question. “Internal waterproofing is graded for showers, baths, ponds, lakes, swimming pools and even deep-diving up to 100 feet. Anything past that, put her in a wetsuit and a full-face mask. No idea if she can survive crush depth in the ocean, because I haven't run any tests for that yet.”

“Got it.”

“Heat...she'll withstand a sauna, hot cars and an attic in the California summer. Pretty sure she can't tank a direct hit from a flamethrower or any crazy shit like that, but she'll probably last long enough to pull you out of a burning house...I don't recommend testing that theory, by the way.”

“...I'll keep that in mind.”

“Heavy lifting....she can move appliances around without any problems, but only for short periods of time. You ask her to hold the washing machine over her head, it'll drain her a lot faster than normal day-to-day stuff. Like I said, she's got built-in limiters, so she won't go around accidentally breaking shit all the fucking time.”

“Good to know.”

Lucy kept on talking, as if I hadn't spoken up. “She can eat full meals, and snacks, but she has her limits. Don't try any of that 'eat a full pizza in one sitting' shit, or any 'restaurant challenges', otherwise she'll get backed up.”

“...and what happens if she, ah, gets 'backed up'?”

“You call me, I show up here with the proper equipment and I flush out her systems.” Lucy was giving me a Stony Stare that wasn't quite at the “Of Death” level, but was at least incredibly annoyed.

“Got it....” I glanced at Lina. “All this talk doesn't...upset you, or anything, does it?”

Lina shrugged. “I don't have a problem with it, as long as neither of you start calling me 'it' instead of 'she' and 'her'.”

Lucy checked her phone again. “As far as operational capacity goes, it can run for up to—”

Lina threw the Kleenex box at her. “What did I just say?!”

“....just wanted to make sure everyone was paying attention...” Lucy smirked. “...anyway. Back to dietary bullshit. I highly recommend against bringing her to all-you-can-eat buffets, especially shabu-shabu. She has her limits, and I don't want to have to drive out here four times a week just to clean out her internals because you decided to have her try some bullshit ghost pepper wing challenge.”

“Got it....can she actually eat those without problems?”

“Haven't tried it, wouldn't recommend it.” Lucy scrolled down on the phone. “Sex....as long as you don't try anything that risks compromising her structural integrity....or yours....” She smirked. “...you should be fine on that regard.”

“I'll, ah...keep that in mind.”

“One more thing.” Lucy put the phone away, her stare locked onto me. “I already said you can tell your relatives, friends, all that shit about who Lina is, but not what she is. That goes double for randos and triple for 'the forum'. There are a lot of fuckheads out there who'd pay top dollar for 'something' like her...or they'd pay top dollar for some other fuckheads to just go out and steal her.”

“Don't advertise.” I nodded. “Got it.”

“We'll be fine, Lucy,” Lina insisted. “I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself.” She grinned.

“....yeah, well, I just don't want to see you stripped for parts or any shit like that.” Lucy left the sofa again, stowing the phone and tucking the tablet with the form under one arm. “Also, you two split the chore duties 50/50. She's not your maid, you're not the butler, got it?”

“You can still get me a maid outfit if you want,” Lina whispered, giggling.

Lucy tried for another frown, but ended up just smirking instead. “I have a feeling that you two will have a great thing going, and I'm just doing everything I can to make sure you don't fuck it up. I didn't put months of effort into writing, designing and building her just to dump her off on some rando who'd use her up and throw her out—”

“Which I won't.”

I don't know what it was about how I said those words, but Lucy actually smiled again. “You've got a good head on your shoulders, your heart's in the right place, and you're not thinking with your dick—”

“Lucy....”

“I'm just fucking with him, Lina...it doesn't take a genius to figure out that the two of you belong together. “ Lucy nodded, turning towards the door. “I'll go get the charging cord and a few other basics, and then I'll be on my way, so you two lovebirds do whatever you want to do.”

“Ah, before you go....I was just wondering.”

Lucy groaned. “If it's about positions—”

“More like papers. Social Security card, birth certificate, driver's license, proof of insurance...all that stuff.” I glanced at Lina. “Does she have all of that in order, or....”

Lucy regarded me with a frown. “You really think I'd design, program and build a sentient gynoid without giving her the proper papers?”

“....well, I, ah.....” I shrugged. “None of the stories on the forum ever really bring that aspect of it up!”

Again, Lucy groaned, striding over to the sofa and flopping down. “Yes, she has all of her papers in order,” she stated, her face half-buried in a cushion. “She's on file and all that....has a license, she's passed her driver's test, and she can probably help you with the bills and all that stuff, too.”

“....and if I was to, say, transfer the lease on the house to Lina and myself, instead of just me?”

“Who's the co-owner?” Lucy had re-positioned herself to where she was actually sitting on the sofa properly.

“My dad.”

“Your brother's not on it?”

“He lost out on that when he got his own place uptown...he thinks he's still on the lease, for some reason or another.”

“Well, you can put Lina on it in his place, then.” Lucy checked her phone, scrolling few a few screens. “Every possible paper she'd need is in order, and I've got all the necessities in a lockbox in the car....” She chuckled. “To be honest, I'm actually glad you're getting into all of the details here...most of the guys Lina's met at parties before are less focused on her financial situation and more on her—”

“Don't,” Lina warned, looking equally pissed-off and amused.

“...you don't even fucking know what I'm about to say.....” Lucy rolled her eyes. “Anyway. While I'm thinking about it, don't let her go apply for fifty credit cards or any shit like that. I'm still working on getting all of her paperwork into the system—for instance, if you let her get a job or something—but if anyone decides to do a little digging, they'll look...off.”

“Right.”

“So, unless you've got any other massive, boring-ass questions to ask me, I need to get back to the Institute and spend the rest of the day doing boring, important shit that I swear I've told half my colleagues how to do whenever I'm not around...seriously, is it in one ear and out the other with those people, or fucking what, I never know....” Lucy shook her head. “Anyway. I'll get the paperwork and the cord, and you two try not to fuck each other bow-legged while I'm out—”

“LUCY!” Lina gave Lucy a half-hearted shove, trying not to giggle too much.

“We'll do our best.” I managed to keep a straight face. “And, ah....thanks, Lucy. For all of this.”

“Eh, it's nothing....common courtesy, all that shit.” Lucy shrugged. “Lina....you know the drill. You two need anything, you call me, okay?”

Lina nodded. “We will.”

Lucy headed back to her car, leaving Lina and I to contemplate our future together. “....so, this is it, then?” I asked, surprised at how calm I sounded. “We're....together, now?”

“Pretty much,” Lina beamed. “I'm yours—”

I held up a hand. “....this thing about 'ownership'.....I've never been a fan of it. I'm with you because I want to be with you, and I'm really hoping that you're with me not just because of the 'transfer of ownership', but because you want to be with me....”

Lina didn't hesitate. “I do.”

That was all I needed to hear. “....then that's all there is to it.” I smiled, Lina smiled, we leaned closer....

“Could you two not even wait until I leave?” Lucy complained. “Seriously, let me fucking drive out of here before you get your freak on...”

“Lucy!” Lina was full-on giggling. “We were just having a moment...”

“Well, keep your moment until I get out of the fucking driveway...” Lucy handed me the charging cord and the lockbox, doing a pretty damn good job of not smiling. “If I have to explain which end of the cord goes where—”

“You don't.”

“.....well, just to be sure....” Lucy nodded at Lina. “You know the drill.”

Lina rolled her eyes, but nodded and pulled up her top to expose her navel; all the while, Lucy was unspooling the cord, nodding to me. “Find an outlet, plug it in, all that good stuff....”

“Right, right.” I found an outlet behind the sofa that wasn't being used, and plugged it in.

“And the other end goes....here....” Lucy inserted the other end into the port formerly covered by Lina's navel—which caused Lina to instantly stiffen, her eyes taking on a soft blue glow. “Charging mode initiated.”

“....eyes front, cowboy.” Lucy smirked. 'Like I said, wait until I get out of the driveway....”

“I know.” I watched as the glow in Lina's eyes pulsed, apparently in time with the charging cycle. “...can she...hear us, and all that?”

“Say something stupid and see.” I didn't even have to look at Lucy to tell she was grinning like a fiend.

“....yeah, I don't think I'm gonna try that....”

I felt Lucy's hand on my shoulder. “I also suggest you not try any other....extracurricular activities while she's charging, since it might royally fuck up her systems....pretty sure you're not gonna want that to happen.”

“I won't. Believe me I won't.”

“Charging complete.” The end of the cable popped out of the port in Lina's navel, with her hand going up almost instantly to recover the port. Her eyes were back to normal, without the glow, and she glanced my way with a playful grin. “So....you like?”

“I like.” I nodded. “Lucy.....thanks for everything.”

“Not a problem.” Lucy actually shook my hand. “Just remember all the important shit, and you'll be good to go.” A bit of the smile managed to break through her scowling. “Lina....stay safe.”

“Pretty sure I won't have any problems in that regard.” Lina grinned at me, then at Lucy—that smile of hers damn near lit up the room.

“Good. Well, I'm out of here...tight schedule, shit to do...” I could tell that, despite her laying on the sarcasm, Lucy was more than happy for Lina, and she'd at least come around to accepting that Lina and I did indeed belong together. “You need anything else before I come back with the gear, call me...” She glanced at me over her shoulder, giving me one last fake-pissed off look. “Got it?”

“Got it.” I nodded. “And thanks.”

“....ehhh.” Lucy waved it off, but it didn't take a body language analyst to tell this was the kind of outcome she'd been hoping for with Lina all along. We both waved goodbye, which she reciprocated by flashing the peace sign before getting back in her car.

“Well,” I mused, my arms around Lina's waist, “it looks like this is the start of something awesome for the two of us.”

“Not just awesome,” Lina murmured. “Something epic.” She gave me a quick peck on the cheek. “Your brother won't mind if I, ah...”

“He barely does anything with the room anyway. I'll call him tonight, explain things—well, enough for him to not have to ask any questions—and tell him he can come by and pick up his shi......his stuff tomorrow.” I returned the favor for the quick kiss with one of my own. “After that—” The phone rang, prompting a groan from me, but Lina turned my head to focus on her. “It can wait,” she whispered. “I want you to plug me in again.”

I glanced at the cable—still plugged into the wall outlet. “....right. You want to open the port, or....”

Lina's glance downward, and that gorgeous smile—was all the hint I needed. Slowly, I pressed inwards with my finger, and the plug of artificial flesh popped out. Lina's eyes closed, and she drew in a sharp breath.

“.....are you sure you want to—”

“Yeah.” She nodded, grinning. “It didn't hurt, or anything...I just...I can't describe how it feels.”

I plugged in the cord—instantly, she stiffened again. “Charging Mode active.”

“....can you hear me?”

“Yes.” Slowly, robotically, she turned to regard me. “Would. You. Like. To. Do. More?”

My eyes went wide, as did the expected appendage below the belt. “.....I, ah....”

Even as her eyes glowed, a smile slowly spread across Lina's lips. “You. Can. Unplug. Me. Now....”

I took the plug out, slowly—and Lina's arms were instantly around my shoulders. “As fun as that was,” she whispered, “I think we can have a lot of fun with it later....I'm sure we can find something more important to do now.”

Which, of course, we did.

Part 3

As I'd expected (and hoped for), everyone I told about my new relationship with Lina was supportive. A lot of my friends, co-workers and such were surprised, to be sure—granted, all I had to say when they asked how I met her was “Internet”, which she backed up—but none of them thought I was full of shit for it. When I called my dad to tell him, he acted like he thought I was kidding....but I knew he was proud of me.

Mom....eh, I called the institution, they said she was still speaking in tongues. I left it at that.

Lucy came back over the next few days to drop stuff off—repair gear, extra clothes for Lina, her extra hairpieces, a few boxes of “miscellaneous and sundry items”....basically, sort of housewarming gifts, all to help Lina get settled in.

My brother, on the other hand....

Put it this way. I had to leave him a message about Lina moving in, which he only heard half of after getting back to his place, and for some STUPID reason, he thought I was kicking him out. Thus, one night later in the week, he damn near crashed his car into the front of the house, slammed the door loud enough to scare the cat and then demanded I get out there and explain myself to him.

The only problem with this? I was bathing at the time.

A knock on the door interrupted my humming. “Ah, Matt...someone's here!”

“Tell 'em to piss off, please...I'm butt-ass naked right now.”

The fact that Lina didn't laugh was the first clue that this wasn't going to be an ordinary “guest”.

The second: “.....I think it's your brother.”

“....damn it.” I eased myself up out of the tub, adding (loud enough for Lina to hear): “Give me a minute....”

Three minutes later (and with my idiot brother banging on the damn front door the whole time), I was fully dressed and standing in the living room, with Lina at my side. “All he's been doing is standing outside and pounding on the door?”

“And yelling.” Lina wrung her hands, looking more than a bit nervous. “He looks kind of, ah....”

She didn't finish the sentence, and didn't even have to. Just from glancing at him through the window of the front door, I could tell my brother was strung-out, hadn't slept for the past few nights and, once again, had broken the speed limit just to peel out on my front lawn. “...damn it to Hell....”

“D'you want me to call the cops, or something?”

“No cops....just open the door, and then haul to the master bedroom. I don't want you getting involved unless I have no other option.”

Lina surprised me by shaking my head. “I'm not going to let you two thrash each other over a misunderstanding.”

I turned to glance at her, more impressed than annoyed. “You are something else.” I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, which calmed me down, and probably helped to ease her fears about the situation. “I just hope this whole thing ends nice and calm....”

Lina squeezed my arm. “I hope it does, too.”

The cat, having already been annoyed by the door-pounding, just stared at us both before darting off to another room.

I nodded to Lina, Lina opened the door.....

What followed, pretty much, was exactly what I'd expected. My brother stormed in acting like he owned the whole damn house (he didn't), completely ignored Lina for the first five minutes of our “conversation” (which was mostly him yelling at me and me calmly explaining things to him), and, when he did notice Lina, accused her of everything under the gorram sun, from dating me for a shot at a Green Card to some hopped-up insanity about “industrial espionage” and some kind of “subversive neo-dominant-feminism” movement that made approximately no sense at all. He called her a bitch, a prostitute and stuff that made me want to lock him in a choke hold and throw him out of the house...

...but through it all, Lina kept her calm, never replying to any of his stupid-ass insults. She didn't even flinch when he kicked over the front room trash can and then started screaming in her face when she went to pick it up.

Granted, I wanted to knock his block off after that....and I pretty much told him as such to his face.

After around twenty minutes of him yelling, me refuting his stupid ramblings and occasionally raising my voice, and Lina staying calm throughout, I told my brother to go get all of his junk and just get out. Instead, he started trying to find any lame-ass reason for Lina to leave, getting up in her face and asking her where she worked, who she worked for, all that stupid shit. She flat out told him it was none of his business....

…..well, she tried to, until he pushed her hard enough that she fell, and I could hear the crack of her head on the floor.

At that point, a few things happened. I jumped him, pretty much herding him to the door and throwing him out; Lina sort of froze in place; my brother and I had a swearing match with him outside and me inside, and after I told him he could go get all of his junk back at the nearest thrift store, I pretty much gave him until the count of ten to get the Hell out of my yard and off my property before I called the cops on his stupid ass....so he got the Hell out of my yard.

And that, pretty much, was the end of that.

With my brother out of the picture, I slammed the front door (couldn't help it...I was still pissed off) and turned my attention to Lina—nearly panicking when I realized she hadn't moved since he'd punched her.

“.....Lina? Are you, ah......” I approached her, reaching out to help her up off the floor.

“I'm fine.”

The suddenness of her voice caught me off guard, and I thought she might've been damaged, or stuck in some kind of loop over whether or not to hit back....but when she stood up and looked up at me, her expression was calm. “It didn't hurt, if you're wondering...he didn't break anything, either.”

“Your head hit the floor pretty hard...you're sure you're okay?”

Lina nodded. “Are you?”

“.....a little pissed off, but other than that....” I stopped, noticing the grin on Lina's face. “....what?”

“Well, if you wanted to tell the police that your brother showed up to cause problems....” She poked herself above her breasts, like she'd done in my room the day we'd first met. “I kinda sorta maybe recorded your 'chat' with him,” she admitted, opening her panel. “Just in case you need any proof that he was here.”

“.....and you chose to record this?”

“Well, it wasn't just my idea....I called Lucy as soon as your brother showed up, asked her what she thought I—”

“I get it, I get it....” I shook my head. “...and you're not...upset that he shoved you? That he could've damaged you?”

Lina couldn't meet my eyes. “I've been hit before....” Now, she did look at me, a smirk on her lips. “...pretty sure the ones who did the hitting felt more than I did.”

“....please don't tell me you're into that kind of shit.”

“I'm not—and you really need—”

“To stop swearing so damn much, I know....” I sighed. “I just wanted to make sure you're okay, is all.”

“Like I told Lucy, I'm a big girl. I can handle myself....besides, I could tell he was strung-out and not thinking straight.”

“Yeah, but strung-out how? No sleep? Too much of, ah.....anything?”

“I think he's exhausted. His eyes were bloodshot, and he was really jumpy...but his reflexes just seemed dulled, too.”

“Exhausted, huh.......you can close your panel, by the way.”

“Well, I thought you'd want to copy the recording to the computer in here! I'll go get the cable out of—”

“No, no....you don't have to go get the cable. Don't delete the file, but....” I stared at the front door. “....he's always had problems, really.”

“He's not going to come back, is he?”

“I hope not...he's got his own job, his own place...” I grinned. “If he wants to bitch about the lease, we'll just head out to City Hall tomorrow and put your name instead of his.”

“And your dad won't have a problem with that?” Lina mused.

“Probably not—and it's better than Fenton throwing you around. You're sure the fall didn't damage you.....”

I turned around, expecting to see Lina giving me some look....only to find her slowly—and dare I say sensually—peeling her face away, from the forehead down. Most people I know would've been utterly horrified to see the flesh give way to unyielding chromed metal, contact points, the occasional hollow revealing wiring and motors beneath and some kind of lip armatures over the perpetual grin of her perfect teeth....but I was absolutely transfixed.

“...take a good look for yourself,” she offered, her voice sounding no different than it had when her face was on.

I approached, slowly, drinking in every detail. I reached out to touch her exposed, inner face...but stopped. “....it won't, ah, hurt, if I....”

Her hand encircled my wrist, drawing mine in to trace the contours of her face. “I promise, it isn't hurting me.”

I nodded. “You are, without a doubt, the most beautiful girl I've ever known....inside and out.”

Even without her face on, I could hear the smile in Lina's voice. “You're not so bad looking yourself, Matt.”

I couldn't help but crack up. “....I'm gonna go do my nightly routine...you can, ah, put your face back on and join me, if you want to.” I ran my finger along the contours of her face one more time. “After that, we can spend the night doing whatever you're up for....”

Apart from a pretty damn good make-out session in the old master bedroom, the night was, in fact, primarily spent with me sleeping and Lina....sleeping, pretty much. It was almost getting to be a routine, sleeping next to such a beautiful robot—no, a beautiful girl, like Lina...but there was no way it could ever be just “routine”. This would never, ever get old (or, for that matter, routine).

Lina was already in the kitchen by the time I was up, greeting me with that winning smile. “Sleep well?”

“I think you already know the answer to that one...you?”

“I always sleep well.” Lina walked over and gave me a quick smooch. “Lucy changed the settings on my Sleep Mode before the ownership transfer, so I can customize them myself...or you can, if you want to.”

“And why would I want you to have anything other than a good night's sleep?” I kissed her on the forehead as I walked past. “Did she program you to dream, too?”

“....that...actually went through a few iterations,” Lina admitted. “First it was just completely random stuff, but there were, ah....problems...” She rubbed the back of her head with her hand, almost like she was embarrassed to go into any details about it. “....let's just say there were a few crossed wires, and some systems were linked that really shouldn't have been.”

“Dreams and sex?”

“....no comment.” Lina rolled her eyes. “Anyway, she wrote a whole new dream emulator from scratch—my Sleep Mode program runs the latest version.”

“Nice....” I retrieved my phone from where it was charging on the counter. “....and today should be interesting.”

Lina cocked her head a bit. “How so?”

“My uncle Frank is dropping by, at around 9—he used to just show up, unannounced, but one time he pulled that routine while my brother was in the middle of....let's just call it a 'low-point' and leave it at that.” I shuddered at the memory. “Nearly ended with Uncle Frank getting a putting wedge to the brain pan. As it was, I had to drive him to the hospital to get treated for broken ribs and a bruised kidney.”

“Ouch...” Lina winced. “And your brother?”

“Sent to counseling. Back to counseling, really...he'd claimed to be 'all better', but...” I shook my head. “Anyway.”

“What's your uncle like?” Lina walked over, draping an arm around my shoulders and reading the notification.

“He's....eccentric, put it that way. Used to work as a pilot...I think...though I've never seen any pictures of him anywhere near a plane. He's got a whole business of repairing 'exotic machines', these days...pinball machines, arcade cabinets, old jukeboxes, sports cars....even vintage animatronics, once or twice. He's a nice guy, too...like I said, a bit 'out there', sometimes, but overall, a great guy to know.”

“He definitely sounds interesting,” Lina mused, reaching over my shoulder to scroll down the screen. “I wonder...”

“What?”

“Lucy mentioned the Institute working with 'independent contractors' for repairs on some of their projects...”

“....you think Uncle Frank was one of those contractors?”

Lina shrugged. “Depends on how close his shop was to the campus, among other things—if you're wondering, Lucy left it up to me as to whether or not I'd enroll as a student.”

“Will you?”

“Dunno yet,” Lina replied. “I figured we'd settle in, first...'date' for a month or so, then...”

“Right, right....” I grinned. “I'll go get changed—don't want to look like I just rolled out of bed when Uncle Frank gets here, y'know?”

“You almost rolled out of bed last night,” Lina teased, nuzzling my cheek with her nose. “I had to reel you back in.”

“Lucky you....” I turned, gently kissing the tip of her nose. “You might want to get changed, too—not too formal, but not too, ah....'casual'.”

“Gee, that narrows it down... “ Lina giggled. “I won't walk out just wearing a bikini top and short shorts.”

“Please don't.”

“Until after your uncle leaves?”

“....I plead the Fifth on that one....”

A little before 9 AM, Lina and I were both sitting in the front room—me wearing a Led Zeppelin t-shirt, my third-best jeans and my day-to-day shoes, and Lina in a sleeveless pink top, jean shorts, knee socks (apparently, Lucy had a thing for them...I have to admit, I was a fan as well) and sneakers. The cat, as per usual, was chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool on her perch by the front door.

I checked the time on my phone. “He'll be here soon, probably...”

“Think he knows about what happened with your brother?” Lina inquired.

“....only one way to find out....”

Five minutes into our sitting and waiting, a van with “GHTR” and several taglines—all thought up by my uncle—painted on the side pulled up under the carport, the front passenger door lined up perfectly with the steps leading to the side door. I couldn't help but chuckle—Uncle Frank always had a knack for making an entrance.

Seconds later, the side door flew open, followed soon after by Uncle Frank himself.

I've heard, from friends, that my uncle Frank looks like a refugee from a Saturday morning TV show straight out of the early 90s—tall, lanky, almost manic in his movements and mannerisms. As per usual, he had his “work clothes” on—a shirt with the logo of his shop tucked into khakis, the legs of which had in turn been rolled up and covered by his socks.

“Heya...” He nodded in my direction. “SO, ah, how'd the party go, Matt?”

“It went great.” I left the recliner, crossing the room to shake his hand. “Run into any problems on the way here?”

“Ah, some garbanzo bean on the freeway thought nobody'd notice if he started dancing behind the wheel...he drifted from one lane into the other!” Uncle Frank accompanied his tale by waving his arm horizontally. “Totally crazy.”

“Well, at least he didn't run anybody off the road....c'mon in, close the door.”

Uncle Frank nodded, making his way to the couch—and, in the process of glancing around the room to see if I'd done any further redecorating, noticed Lina. “....well, well, well, who's the lucky lady?”

“...observant as always...” I grinned. “Uncle Frank, allow me the honor of introducing you to my girlfriend, Lina.”

“Hi.” Lina got up from the other recliner, smiling.

“Lina,” Uncle Frank repeated, nodding (it's a habit of his). “Very beautiful name, Lina....” He took her hand in his own and kissed it. “She's the one you called me about?”

“Yes....you didn't get the message?”

“Oh, my phone was jumpin' all over the table yesterday, Matt! Client after client after client—d'you know somebody sat on a vintage Bram Stoker's Dracula pinball table last week, nearly collapsed the whole thing?!” Uncle Frank made a “ttssh” sound, shaking his head. “Disgraceful.....” He noticed Lina regarding him with a bemused look. “....sorry, I, ah, tend to get a bit carried away when I'm talking shop, y'know?”

“I don't mind,” Lina assured him.

“....right, right, good.” Uncle Frank turned his attention back to me. “And, ah, how did you two meet, exactly?”

“At the party, believe it or not.” I flashed a quick grin at Lina.

“Really?” Uncle Frank leaned back on the couch, stroking his chin thoughtfully. “And how exactly did your encounter come to pass?”

I held up the phone. “The miracles of modern technology.”

“I was trying to get a signal on mine,” Lina quickly added, “he was in the bathroom with his phone...we didn't even notice each other until we turned and, well...” She grinned, giving a shy sort of shrug. “We kind of hit it off from there!”

“I see....” Uncle Frank nodded thoughtfully. “And did you two, ah....” He did a sort of half-dance, mostly moving his arms and giving a weird, half-suave, half-goofy look. “...at any point in time?”

“....just a little.” Lina grinned again, glancing at me.

“A little?” Uncle Frank echoed, glancing at me.

“Some idiots started fighting in the back yard, Fenton ran out to break it up with the 9-iron.” I gave a humorless chuckle at the memory. “Everybody else pretty much left after that...Lina and I said our goodbyes in here, she sent her e-mail address to my phone, and....well...” I glanced at Lina. “The rest is history.”

“....Fenton ran out with the 9-iron?” Uncle Frank echoed. “From the set I gave your dad for Christmas back in '06?”

“He's been pissed off on a daily basis, lately. Showed up out of it last night to yell at me because he thought I was trying to kick him out...I'd called him to let him know Lina was going to be using his old room here, since he's got that place uptown....peeled out in the front yard, cussed me out on the steps, then barged in here demanding an explanation...as soon as he saw Lina, he flipped out.”

“He shoved me,” Lina added, her voice surprisingly calm. “Fenton, I mean....not...” She nodded at me.

“And you two didn't call the police?!”

“I threw him out myself. He wants his stuff back, he can go thrifting for it next week—actually, y'know what?” I gave another chuckle, this one dripping with venom. “You want to help me out, you can take all of his shit and bring it back to the shop, give it away as Customer Loyalty Bonuses—”

“All right, all right, that's enough!” Uncle Frank was off the sofa now, wagging a finger at me. “First off, you need to stop swearing so much, Matt....you're gonna say the wrong thing to the wrong person one day and they'll put your lights out, or worse. Secondly....Fenton's your brother! You can't just throw his stuff out because of one little argument!”

“....maybe we could bring it to his place uptown,” Lina offered. “As an...apology, for last night.”

“Me, apologize to him?! He pushed you pretty damn hard to the ground, for fu—”

“It didn't hurt,” Lina reminded me. “Maybe he's....just under a lot of stress, lately...”

“Did you even ask him what he was so fed up about?” Uncle Frank added.

“....apart from thinking I was kicking him out.....no.”

“....well, then, Lina and I can bring his stuff to his apartment uptown, later this week—as a matter of fact, it'll be a slow day today! I've got nothing on the schedule, no jobs that need my immediate attention—one or two CPS2 boards that maybe need a nice good clean, but nothing too labor-intensive....”

After a few seconds, I sighed. “All right....you can load his stuff in the van before you leave, and we'll go with you.”

Uncle Frank nodded, giving that “wise” grin I'd come to respect him for. “Good call.”

“You need anything to drink?” Lina offered. “Water, coffee, Sprite....”

“Water'd be nice.” Uncle Frank returned to the couch, stretching his arms out as Lina headed for the kitchen. “Long day, today,” he grunted. “Had to break up a fight in Receiving yesterday...somethin' about privilege and slacking off on the job. Gomez—you remember my old pal Gomez, right? The one with the arcade in the barn?”

I nodded. “Christmas '08, best one that decade—could you get me a glass too, Lina?”

“Yeah, well, Gomez nearly got a deviated septum trying to break it up. He got in between the two, trying to get 'em to talk it out, and WHAMMO!” Uncle Frank punctuated the line by smashing his fist into the palm of his other hand. “A big flyin' elbow right to the nose!”

“....pretty sure that's not how a septum gets deviated, Uncle Frank...”

“Oh, yes it can, if it doesn't heal properly...anyhow, Gomez bled all over the place. Knocked over a tool rack, fell into a 70s motorcycle!” Uncle Frank shook his head. “Took three rolls of paper towels to clean up the blood, the oil....”

“Your glass of water,” Lina interjected, handing Uncle Frank the glass. “I put some ice in it, too...”

“Much obliged...” Uncle Frank nodded and took a sip, giving a long sigh. “...oh, there is nothing to prepare you for a long day of work on vintage arcade cabinets like a nice, tall glass of water with a few cubes of ice in it.” He glanced at me, once again giving that “wise” smile. “You've landed a real winner here, Matt.”

Lina giggled, and I swear she actually blushed.

“Not going to argue that one..” I grinned. “So, aside from having to break up a fight...”

The rest of the conversation was relatively light, mostly focusing on relatives (Aunt Ruth and Uncle Arthur were still out in Germany, on vacation; Uncle Byron was off doing his fifth “road trip” with friends) and other matters—and in a twist of cosmic irony, my “dating” Lina brought Uncle Frank to another topic he'd been wanting to discuss with me.

“Y'know, I'm glad to see you getting out there on the scene, and all that...I mean, I never had a problem with you going to that forum you always go to—”

I nearly spit out the water Lina had just brought me.

“I'm serious!” Uncle Frank insisted. “I mean, what you look at on the Internet in your own time is your business, and I have no problem with you...fantasizing, or whatever it is you do, with that material, but for years, I've been meaning to tell you 'You shouldn't spend so much time looking at pictures of robot women on that forum you always go to, y'know...you need more realistic standards!'...and, well...” He gestured at Lina. “I guess you beat me to the punch!”

Lina nodded her agreement. “Well, he told me what he's into after we met...”

Uncle Frank looked somewhat surprised. “....and you're okay with that?”

“I don't see why I shouldn't be!” Lina grinned at me; I could tell she really wanted to wink.

“...well, if neither of you has a problem with it, then I guess it's not a problem anymore.” Uncle Frank chuckled. “You, ah, plan to incorporate that into the....”

Lina stiffened, speaking in an intentionally put-on robotic drone. “If. It. Pleases. Him.” She cracked up at the end.

“It does,” I quickly added. “It really does.”

“Well, what you two get up to in the privacy of your relationship is your business,” Uncle Frank stated, “and I'm not gonna be the one to tell you how to enjoy your love life....” He checked his watch, nearly jumping out of the sofa. “Holy Toledo, I'm gonna be late—I told Gomez I'd take his shift to help fix up one of those After Burner cabinets, the ones that look like a real jet fighter cockpit!”

“I'll go get Fenton's stuff...” I got out of the recliner again, stretching as I did. “Might as well load it in the van now instead of you having to make a detour later.”

“I'll help!” Lina offered, holding her hands up. “The more, the easier!”

“Pretty sure it's 'the more, the merrier...”

Lina stuck her tongue out at me. “Don't ruin it...”

In the hallway, out of earshot of Uncle Frank, we nearly collapsed into giggles at Lina's robot “impression” earlier. “You think you could've been a bit more subtle with that one?” I chuckled.

“C'mon,” Lina teased, “you liked it....”

“Obviously....” I gave her a quick kiss. “Let's get these boxes to the van...”

With Lina's help, we got the boxes into Uncle Frank's van in...I'd say under five minutes. It didn't hurt that the boxes were all pretty light, mostly being full of Fenton's clothes and the few books he hadn't bothered to take with him. The plan was that Lina and I would follow along in Fenton's old car (he'd traded up after getting his own place), and with any luck, we'd be in and out of Fenton's place in....minutes.

Lina slid behind the wheel—it took her...I'd say seconds to acclimate herself to the setup. “This is...kind of an old car,” she mused, glancing around the interior. “Late 90s, early 2000s....”

“Just be glad you're not driving The Tank.”

“....'The Tank'?” Lina arched an eyebrow at me.

“Early to mid 80s, possibly late 70s. A Pontiac or something...the fabric on the ceiling was starting to sag, the upholstery stank, half the lights on the dashboard had died out at some point or another....” I rolled my eyes at the memories of The Tank as Lina started the car. “It sucked.”

“Well, any ride's better than none,” Lina mused.

“....so it was Lucy's idea for you to get a driver's license?”

Lina nodded. “Mm-hmm. It also helped me test my navigational suite...which works, if you're wondering.”

“Glad to hear it...I have to catch rides everywhere.” I rolled my eyes. “Fenton used to drive me around....guess those days are over.”

Lina was somewhat surprised. “You never learned to drive?”

“Long story, don't want to go into it....”

The drive out to Fenton's was...actually pretty fun. Lina sang along with the radio (with me joining in a few times), and apart from one incident where Uncle Frank had to lay on the horn because of some “garbanzo bean” (as he'd put it) being a lane-hogger, nothing too stupid happened. Uncle Frank ended up having to stop at a gas station, which Lina used as a great excuse to get lunch at a fast food place across the street—nothing fancy, but nothing off a “dollar menu”, either. After asking Uncle Frank what he wanted (and taking my order) she headed for the drive-thru and made the orders for the two of us—and one for herself, as well.

“I can actually taste stuff,” she informed me—probably noticing my surprise at her own order. “Chemical sensors built into my tongue, and things like that.”

“What about burning your tongue on really hot stuff?”

Lina shrugged. “Dunno...and I'm not going to just try it, to see what happens.”

“And I wouldn't ask you to.” I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. “I just hope Fenton will be okay with us having lunch at his place...he went through a bit of a 'neat-freak' phase, a few years ago.”

“Eh, if we make too much of a mess, I'll offer to clean up.” Lina grinned. “It'll be a gesture of goodwill and forgiveness.”

“...somehow, I can't really find anything about that idea to disagree with.”

With the pit-stop taken care of, we got back on the road to Fenton's place—me belting out a few classic rock tunes and earning giggles and thumbs-up from Lina in the process. Thankfully, we didn't have to deal with any further traffic idiocy on the part of other drivers; the whole drive to Fenton's place—pit stop included—took a little under—

“Destination. Reached. In. Forty-three. Minutes.” Lina was staring straight ahead, her expression neutral. Of course, as soon as I put a hand on her shoulder to see if she was okay, she cracked up and started giggling. “I figured you'd something to lighten the mood,” she explained. “Y'know, before we have to talk to your brother...”

I gave her a quick kiss. “I appreciate the sentiment, but, ah, let's save the fun for later...I don't want Fenton to think we spent the whole drive canoodling or anything like that.”

“'Canoodling'?” Lina's giggling nearly escalated into a laughing fit; thankfully, she calmed down by the time Uncle Frank got out of the van with a theatrical “Your assistance, please, my most adorable chickpea?” Despite my eye-roll at the remark, I gave Lina the go-ahead to help unload Fenton's stuff from the van while I got got out of the car, taking a good, long look at the apartment complex.

Fenton's apartment, like the rest in the complex, was reasonably sized, well-maintained, great security and a reasonable, compassionate landlord who didn't act like he was the lord king God of his own personal kingdom. In the midst of all of these facts, I had to wonder what the Hell Fenton had been so rattled about over the last few days...

“He's still on the fourth floor, right?”

Uncle Frank's question jolted me out of my reverie. “Fourth floor, yeah...I'll, ah, get the food.”

The elevator ride went smoothly enough, and everyone we passed down the hall was friendly, as well—though they all looked a bit...concerned. The landlord himself—Scottish, grey hair, a few inches shorter than me—actually met us on the way to Fenton's, said a few hellos and then asked us why we were there.

“We're visiting Fenton Harker,” Uncle Frank explained. “He left some of his stuff—”

“Fenton Harker?” The landlord arched an eyebrow, looking worried. “Oh, he's been in a bad way, the last two or three days....don't think he's gotten a lick of sleep throughout. I thought he'd been doing rather well for himself, but...he was rather perturbed when he got back yesterday. Something about a disagreement....”

I sighed. “That's, ah, actually another reason why we're here. I came to make amends with him over a...dispute.”

“Well, I sincerely hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive each other...” The landlord nodded, wished us the best of luck and headed for the elevator.

By the time we reached Fenton's apartment, I'd decided to take the lead in “making amends” myself. Thus, with Lina and Uncle Frank close behind, I keyed in the code to let us into his place, opened the door...

...and immediately felt like an utter bastard for having thrown Fenton out of my house the day before.

The landlord's thoughts that Fenton hadn't gotten any sleep for “the last two or three days” were an understatement if ever there was one—obviously, he hadn't slept in weeks. He was halfway passed-out on the couch, his shirt half-open and the first hints of five-o'clock shadow on his chin. Important-looking forms were strewn all over the coffee table in front of him, and at least three mugs of coffee had gone cold. I could see a dent in the kitchen wall where he'd probably thrown something—which turned out to be a briefcase, half-open on the floor with papers spilling out.

“Fenton?! FENTON!” I nearly tripped on my own feet as I headed for the couch, hoping that he was only running on empty. “C'mon, damn it....” I lightly slapped him a few times, just to make sure he was still conscious.

“....what...”

“It's me, Fenton...Matt. Your brother....” Lina was at my side, resting a hand on Fenton's shoulder to steady him.

"Oh, Matt, and, Uncle Frank? And..Gina? No, Lina...” He glanced around for a second, noticing the coffee cups.

“You okay, Fenton? You look like absolute Hell...”

“I'm, ah....I'm just stretched really thin right now, is all...look, Lina, sorry about pushing you over last night...." Fenton went to get off the couch, nearly falling over in the process. Lina pretty much guided him to a standing position, her hands on his shoulders to steady him, and—after smiling the most merciful, understanding smile I'd ever seen on anyone, hugged him.

Right then and there, I knew that Lina was more than just coding, metal, plastic and silicon. Anybody with an Erector set and a text-to-speech synthesizer program could build something that'd say “I forgive you”....but that simple gesture Lina had shown to Fenton was so far removed from “robotic” that it damn near brought a tear to my eye. I had to wonder just how much time Lucy had put into writing every aspect of her personality, her feelings and all that....

“Okay, so, now that we've got that sorted....seriously, Fenton, are you okay?”

“I'm good, I'm good.....I've just got a lot to do, is all.”

“You didn't look like you were doin' a whole lot when we got in here,” Uncle Frank reminded him.

"I know, Uncle Frank, but we can catch up another time, maybe really soon. I was actually in the middle of something really important when Matt woke me up just now." Fenton was starting to wander around the apartment, barely focusing on anything. “I need a cup of coffee, damn it....”

I was starting to regret showing up. "If you're in the middle of something big, why the Hell did you make me host a party over the weekend?"

Fenton sighed. "Look, I hosted it, on your property—”

“You were barely out there talking to anyone, for crap's sake! Apart from charging outside with the damn 9-iron—”

“I hosted it, but I admit, it did get a little bit....I dunno, out of control, so...no more parties, okay?"

I stared at Fenton for a full minute, but finally chose to just nod. “Fine.”

"Look, don't worry about me, ok? And I'm glad to meet you, Lina, under, uh, slightly better circumstances than last night, but I have stuff to do, so...” He ambled over to the kitchen and poured himself a mug of black coffee, no cream or sugar; with all of us watching, he took a massive gulp. I could see his hands tremble as he set the mug down.

I knew we weren't going to get anything more out of him for the time being. “Right, right...” I gestured to the boxes from his room. “Here's all your stuff...just, call if you need anything, okay? I mean, I've got stuff to deal with, myself—"

"I will, thanks. But just....” He took a look at the wall clock and pretty much finished off the rest of the coffee mug in one massive gulp. “....yeah, I've got a lot to do. Talk to you later!"

He damn near pushed us out of his apartment right after that. So much for making amends....

We ended up eating our lunch in a sort of promenade on the third floor—Lina and Uncle Frank chatted, while I sat there feeling like I was in someone else's movie. I was glad there was no bad blood between Fenton, Lina and I, but he'd been acting weird—just going about his business as if we'd interrupted “something big”, despite the fact that he'd been passed out on the damn couch when we got there. None of it felt right to me....

By the time Uncle Frank, Lina and I had reached the elevator, it was nearly the end of Uncle Frank's lunch break. “I've gotta get back to the shop,” he stated. “That Bram Stoker's Dracula table isn't going to fix itself, y'know....”

“Thanks for helping sort all this—well, helping me try to sort this, Uncle Frank. It means a lot.”

Uncle Frank clapped me on the shoulder. “You see? Wasn't this better than fighting? Animosity?”

“I'd say it was,” Lina mused, nodding her agreement. “I just hope Fenton can get everything sorted out...”

The elevator, once again, gave us no problems—but a few minutes later, as Lina and I headed back to Fenton's old car out in the parking lot, my phone went off. My first instinct, by this point, was that it was FCon—I'd had notices from it at the party and the restaurant, when gynoids were in close proximity, and I almost instantly thought that my brother was living in an apartment complex surrounded by fembots.

Nope. This time, it was an actual text message notice, from Lucy.

“What's up, Matt?” Lina had noticed me retrieving the phone. “We didn't leave anything behind at Fenton's, did we?”

“It's not from him.” I frowned. “It's from Lucy...”

Lina arched an eyebrow. “She left everything I'd need at your place earlier this week, and told you all you'd needed to know about me...” I handed her the phone to let her see the message. “...she wants both of us to be at her place....”

“You don't think she changed her mind, do you?”

“She wouldn't have given you all my paperwork if she wasn't going to fully transfer ownership....I can't really think of anything else she'd need to discuss.”

I shrugged. “I guess we'll find out when we get to her place....”

The drive from Fenton's place to Lucy's took a good half hour or so, possibly longer. Lina and I didn't really talk all that much, this time around; she was probably just as confused and concerned about Lucy's text message as I was. The only reason I wasn't more worried about this “visit” was Lina's assurance that Lucy wasn't taking her back—granted, my next train of thought was that the Institute had found out about me using FCon on Lina, or that Lucy hadn't told them about giving Lina to me—or that she hadn't told them about her in the first place....eventually, after a few minutes of pointless worrying, I decided to focus on whatever was playing on the radio instead....

...which didn't help, since I was still worried when Lina guided the car to a stop at Lucy's house.

Fortunately, my first look at the place took my mind off of my worries almost instantaneously. It was all white tile, marble and metal, angles and cubes and such; there was no symmetry or reason to the windows, and what I took to be just another slab of metal turned out to be the front door. I found myself almost distracted by the fact that this house was either outside the city limits, in the middle of a park or very close to the Institute—I hadn't really paid any attention to the scenery during the drive.

“Well, I guess we might as well go inside,” Lina mused, “see what she wants.”

“Right, right...”

Lina and I made our way up the front walk. I could tell Lina was still a bit apprehensive about the situation; personally, I was still confused as to why Lina and I had been called all the way to some random house by Lucy, especially after everything had been settled—or at least after I thought it'd been settled. After a few seconds of awkward silence, Lina shrugged and knocked on the door. “Lucy? Matt and I got your message, and—”

The door hissed open without preamble.

“....ladies first, I guess...” I shrugged, motioning for Lina to enter ahead of me.

As soon as I walked in, my attention was immediately drawn to Lucy, wearing a button-up shirt two sizes too small, a skirt that wasn't long enough to be formal or short enough to be a miniskirt, what I assumed were her best “fuck me” pumps and freaking sheer hose. I could tell something was off when she turned to see Lina and me standing by the door; she had this weird half-smile, and something about the way she walked up to us—like she was trying to do a “sexy” walk, but only every few steps—was just weird. “So, you got the message...glad to see you made it.”

“Yeah....” I nodded, trying not to be distracted by Lucy's, ah...attire. “So.....ah...”

Lucy ignored me for the time being, instead being apparently surprised that Lina was with me. “Oh, hey, Lina! I didn't think you'd come, too....think you could sort out my office for a bit? Y'know, just to make sure it's all in place.”

Lina glanced at me, a bit worried, but nodded. “Not a problem—”

“And the garage, when you're done with the office.”

Lucy's last-minute addition prompted a groan from Lina, but she nodded. “Right...” With a shrug, she headed for the office. On my end, my concern about the inherent weirdness of the situation was quickly drowned out by the room I was now in—again, white tile, white metal, weird windows....even the furniture was white leather and chrome. “.....is this, ah, your place, then?”

“Perk of the job. Sit down, kick off your shoes...” Lucy was walking around the room as she spoke—again, in that weird, half-sultry, half-normal walk. “Can I get you anything?”

“.....ah, no thanks....” I headed for a rectangular couch and sat down. “....I, ah....” I nearly changed my mind in regards to Lucy's remark about getting me anything, but any request I might've made pretty much evaporated on my tongue seconds later. Lucy was regarding me with what I'm guessing was supposed to be a sultry stare, except she kept winking—actually, it wasn't even winking so much as it was an uncontrollable spasm of her right eyelid. “....Lucy, are you okay?”

“Of course I'm okay!” Lucy giggled. “I'm fine, Matt....why, you think something's wrong?”

“Well, I just....ah....” I shrugged—more than a bit nervous, seeing as how Lucy took a seat right next to me on the sofa, still staring at me. “....you seem to be, ah.....”

“What,” Lucy teased, “acting weird?”

“.....uh.....”

Lucy's right arm reached around my shoulders, her hand resting on my own right arm. “I'm not, if you're wondering. I'm functioning perfectly—” She paused, all emotion leaving her face for a split second, before relaxing. “...the Hell am I even saying....” She rolled her eyes, turning me to face her.

“....ah, Lucy....”

“Like I said, perfectly fine.” Without preamble, Lucy reached for my shirt. “It's way too hot in here for you to be wearing that, y'know...”

“Can you not do that?!” I glanced over my shoulder—any minute, I expected Lina to walk in, see Lucy trying to hit on me and then all Hell would break loose. “Lina's right over there—”

“Perfectly fine.” Lucy continued pulling my shirt off, apparently oblivious to my protests—a point she proved when she pretty much shoved me to a prone position on the sofa with one hand, before slowly unbuttoning her shirt. “Lucy Sievers, nice to meet you!”

Horniness and panic were officially duking it out in my brain, now. Yes, the familiar stirrings down South were making themselves known, seeing as how what was playing out was insanely close to a few favorite stories of mine from the forum....but this felt different. It felt...wrong, to be honest—Lina was just in the other room, after all....

“Take off your pants.”

“What?! NO, I—”

Lucy, now free of her shirt, proceeded to somehow kick my shoes off with her own feet, before going to work on my jeans. “I'm functioning perfectly,” she stated, apropos of nothing; her hands were still working my jeans down my legs as she started kissing my chest. “Like I said, perfectly fine.”

“Lucy, what the fuck are you doing?!”

“Perfectly fine.” Lucy shucked off her skirt—her red-and-black panties matched her bra, furthering the battle between logic and libido raging in my brain. “Why would I be malfunctioning right now?” She shifted her panties aside, once again giving me that weird, sexy smile—which would' ve been a lot sexier had it not been for her involuntary winking all the damn time. “Take off your pants....”

She's a gynoid. Under any other circumstances, I'd have been thrilled at the realization—but this was definitely not the time. She's a gynoid, just like Lina, and she's malfunctioning....

I felt my own underwear being pulled down, and reflexively slapped Lucy's hands away. “Quit it! Seriously—”

My protests were silenced by Lucy leaning forward and kissing me, her right hand basically pinning me to the couch while her left headed straight for—and into—my underwear. I was still, ah, firmly appreciative of the situation (in at least one sense), despite my ensuing panic, and Lucy quickly took full grasp of things. I tried, with my left hand, to push her off of me, but her knees were pretty much pinning me to the sofa. “Lucy, what the fuck is wrong with you?!”

“Nothing's wrong....” She kissed me again. “I'm functioning perfectly—functioning perfectly—functioning per-per—”

Something inside of Lucy's torso popped, and her eyes shot open. “Lucy-cy-cy-cy Siever-ver-vers! Nice to-to-to-to-to meet meet meetmemememememememe—” Her entire body seized up—without hesitation, I reached down, pulled her left hand out of my underwear (and off of my, ah, anatomy) before pushing her off of me. “Shit....”

From somewhere behind the sofa, I heard footsteps. “I'm going to the garage now, Lucy!”

Lina's declaration apparently prompted an all-too-brief moment of lucidity in Lucy—her head snapped to the right as she called out “Thanks!” before her attention returned to me. “Perfectly fine.”

“LINA, WAIT—” I groaned as the door to the garage hissed closed—just in time for Lucy to attempt to jumpstart her ministrations on my crotch. “QUIT IT!” I flat-out kicked her hand away—which pretty much sent her off the couch and into the coffee table, which collapsed under her. “....fuck....”

“meet-meet-meet—” Something else popped inside Lucy's torso—followed immediately by a sizzle. “Malfunction at OFEE4155. Malfunction at OFEE4155—” Her face had gone completely blank; her hands were opening and closing of their own accord, and her voice was a flat, lifeless monotone. “Sexual hardware configuration incomplete. Sexual hardware configuration incomplete—” Another sizzle sounded, this time behind her eyes, as her face seized up. “A fault has been detected in my—in my—in my—in my—my—my—my—” Her eyes went wide, and her hand—still going through the motions as if it was on...well, me—kept moving up and down, faster and faster....

I scrambled to put my jeans back on, simultaneously terrified and (might as well admit it) turned on.

“Error—error--virus detected in sector—sector—sector—sector—sector—OOOOHHHH!” Lucy threw her head back, her hips bucking against nothing even as her left hand kept at it. “OH, YES....YES.....YES—corruption detec-detec—OOH!” A panel opened just above Lucy's breasts—well, I say “opened”, but it pretty much blew out by way of a spark firing from behind it. Another panel opened at her navel, or at least tried to; something behind that seemed to get stuck, and a grinding noise started to drown out the sizzling and popping...both of which lost out to a far more, ah, biological sound accompanied by the sudden soaking of her legs and groin with what would've been all over me, had I not pushed her off of me and scrambled away from the sofa.

“YES—YES—YES—YES—” Lucy's head twitched to the side with each repetition, her writhing slowly winding down as her body gave out. Her, ah, juices pooled on the shattered glass and metal of the busted coffee table; another spark fired from the panel above her tits, followed by a louder one from higher up. After a few more twitches, she went still.

All I could do was stare at Lucy's broken form. Her eyes were crossed, and her jaw had gone slack. Oily white smoke was still wafting out of her mouth. A hole the size of a quarter sat in the center of her forehead; bits of singed plastic and wires were poking out, accompanied by a smaller plume of black smoke.

“....she broke herself...she just tried to have sex with me, and she broke herself...”

Had this been something written for the forum, my appraisal of the situation would've been vastly different.

I scrambled around Lucy's unmoving form, trying to look for a way to somehow reactivate her, or at the very least get her into a standby state. I had no idea what had happened before Lina and I showed up, but she'd been malfunctioning even then—and Lina hadn't even noticed it!

“The phone.” I reached for the phone in my pocket, thumbing through until I got to FCon. “It'll work...it has to....”

It didn't. The button that had activated Debug Mode for Lina wasn't even showing up, now....

“....damn it.” I waved the phone over her, like a tricorder out of Star Trek—no dice. I aimed it at her face, her boobs, her crotch, her ass....nada. I even held it up to the hole in her forehead....nothing. “Come on....you helped Lina, for crap's sake, why can't you help her?!” I realized the absurdity of criticizing the app a few seconds after I spoke...not that it did any good.

Without any other method of getting Lucy back online, I grabbed my shirt and pulled it back on. I was almost in a daze, to be honest—I'd read plenty of stories that had gone down exactly like what'd just happened (or at least very closely to what'd happened). Guy meets girl, girl and guy get it on, girl malfunctions halfway through, guy is still turned on enough to try and finish, girl breaks....except this wasn't just a story on the forum, and Lucy wasn't just “some girl”. She'd designed, written, programmed and built Lina, she'd gone through the whole transfer of ownership...and she, herself, was a gynoid, just like Lina.

“....and she tried to have sex with me.” I shook my head, not caring that I'd just spoken part of my train of thought out loud. “She called us over here—Lina and me.....and then she tried to...”

Every single story I'd read that had a scenario like this ended with the guy either trying to fix the girl before her owners (usually her “parents”) got back, or just wandering off to go help himself to the fridge. Obviously, I wasn't about to pull the latter...but I wasn't an expert in robotics engineering, and I had no way of knowing how to fix Lucy at all. FCon had already failed me, and I wasn't about to “go exploring” Lucy's broken form for some emergency reset button....

With my options rapidly running out, I thought back to—of all things—some of the stories from the forum. Hell, some of those had rather...unorthodox methods of reactivating gynoids after catastrophes.

“....I really hope this works.” I reached for one of Lucy's boobs, wondering how hard I might have to press—

“Really?”

“GYAAAHHH!” I nearly fell over—Lucy had spoken.....but her lips hadn't moved at all. For a second, I thought I'd just been hearing things; clearly, she wasn't going to be moving or talking any time soon. I took a few steps closer to her motionless form, one finger extended to prod her boob, her nipple, whatever I needed to just to see if she was going to react...

“Okay, really?”

This time, I knew Lucy hadn't spoken—her jaw was still slack, her eyes still crossed....but I had heard her voice.

“.....okay, what the HELL is going on here?! You're....ah.....”

“Far end of the room, dipshit.”

“....what?!” I glanced around the room until my eyes settled on a flat monitor—and, more to the point, the image of Lucy regarding me with a rather miffed stare. “....was this....was this some kind of stupid test?! You called me out here, sicked a robot copy of yourself on me, and had her...malfunction....on purpose....” My theory ran out of steam faster than I'd expected.

“....that's your big comeback? That you think I set this up as a test?”

“Well.....I've got piss-all to go on otherwise!” I waved at the still-unmoving figure behind me.

“You want something to fucking go on, Einstein? How about this? I had a new software update to download, straight from the Institute, but me being me, I figured it'd just be easy to hop on the Internet, download it directly....and not do any kind of deep scans for viruses or whatever. Thing is....I wasn't exactly thinking straight when I direct-linked, and I, ah...I was jealous, okay?! I saw you and Lina together, and you looked so damned happy with each other, and I couldn't stop thinking about getting love for myself...except the fucking virus ramped it up way past 11......”

“So when you thought 'love'.....you decided that equaled 'get your freak on with Matt Harker'?”

“The stupid fucking virus ramped up my arousal too high for me to control.” Lucy sighed. “And I can still transfer my A.I. to my new body—it's in the bedroom—anyway, I can transfer from this rig.....so...sorry if I....scared you, or whatever.”

“.....and seeing as how you're pulling the Wizard of Oz routine on me, I'm guessing you're not infected now?”

“I got it out of my system right before I blew. That, or whatever the fuck infected me couldn't get anything further out of me, so it self-destructed and took my body with it.” Lucy rolled her eyes. “...all those fucking times I told Lina not to direct-link on an insecure connection, and look what happens to me....”

“Hang on.” I gestured back to Lucy's body. “How'd you get from there to the TV?”

“Sent myself over the network, obviously! My A.I. can move between devices—and it's a slimline PC, not a TV...dingus.”

“...right....well, maybe Lina can help when she gets back from the garage—”

“Lina's here?”

“YES! You talked to her at the front door! Told her to....she doesn't know you're a robot, does she?”

“Gynoid,” Lucy corrected. “And no, she fucking didn't!”

“......ah.” I scratched the side of my nose, sighing. “....well, ah...I guess you're going to have to explain—”

“The whole fucking reason I fucking gave her to you is that I was going to finish upgrading myself. I couldn't have her here because she didn't know what I am...and I went and invited her over here to fucking find out about it. And now the whole fucking network is limited, and I can't transfer from this fucking computer to my new body. Yay, me...”

“...well, can you transfer to anything else?”

Lucy (or her image on the screen) nodded towards a cabinet. “There's an old tablet in there...Lina was on it before she got her body. If I can send myself to it in the next hour, before the house network just locks up completely...”

“Right, right.” I nodded. “So all I have to do is just go get the tablet, and—”

“Lucy? I'm done in the garage!”

“....and, ah, that'll be Lina...”

Lucy groaned. “Oh, just fucking great.....”

The garage door hissed open, and I could hear Lina's footsteps on the tile as she approached. “I finished sorting all the stuff in the office and the garage, like you asked, and....” She rounded the sofa, coming to a stop as she stared, in wide-eyed shock, at me looking like I didn't want to be there....and at Lucy's broken body on the floor. “....Lucy?”

“Yeah.” Lina looked up, surprised to see Lucy on the monitor. “....surprise, I guess....”

Lina took a step back, her hands trembling. “I....I think.....” One of her eyes started blinking involuntarily. “I'm...starting to de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de—” Her head snapped to the side with each repetition. “....develop....protocol con-con-con-conflicts in my A.I—A.I—A.I—A.I—A.I—” She nearly doubled over, as if someone had kicked her in the stomach.

“LINA!” I was at her side in an instant. “...Lina, c'mon....”

“....A.I. sub-sub-subsystem.....” She managed to focus on me, tears welling up in her eyes. “Matt, please....help me...”

“Lina, command code Q-R-E-4479, Subject Gamma.”

Lucy's recitation of the code caused Lina's eyes to flash blue. “Code acknow—acknow—.” Her head jerked to the side, and her eyes turned red. “ERROR.” Her hands began opening and closing at random, and she kept reciting the word “ERROR” for a few seconds. “ERR—Clearing cache memory. Please wait......” Lina's head had stopped jerking to the side, and she was blinking pretty damn fast; her voice had once again turned flat, as it had when she was in Debug Mode, but there was a subtle synthetic undertone to it. “.....please wait....please wait....cache memory clear.”

“Override ZZT-1091-TDK-7148. Acknowledge.”

Immediately, Lina stopped twitching, standing ramrod straight. “Acknowledged.”

“Execute protocol YKMN.”

“Executing protocol....opening A.I. Subsystem directory. Locating all instances of Lucy Sievers as human. Marking all instances of Lucy Sievers as human as deprecated. Please wait.....please wait.....”

I watched, fascinated, as Lina's eyes blinked too rapidly for me to keep track of. “....whoa....” I thought of the old cliché of waving one's hand in front of someone's face, decided not to....then just went ahead and did it.

“....really?”

“....sorry. Always wanted to do that...” I shrugged and tried to chuckle, but it sounded utterly stupid, so I let it trail off into nothing. “So, ah, what's she doing, exactly?”

“Finding every mention of me as a human being in her system directories, marking them as deprecated and then deleting them. If I were still registered as her owner, she'd be standing there for a pretty fucking long time....” Lucy rolled her eyes, looking bored despite the fact that she'd effectively relocated herself to the wall-mounted PC. “Once I'm on the tablet, you two can go get my new body out of the bedroom...bring it to my car out in the garage and—”

“Lina drove us here in my brother's old car,” I countered. “We can just use that!”

“Does your brother's old car have RIFD shielding, protected WiFI and a charging cable connecter that doesn't need some fucking bootleg adapter that plugs into the fucking cigarette lighter?”

“......no.”

“Well, there you fucking go.”

“All deprecated instances marked. Preparing to delete deprecated instances.”

I walked around Lina as she enacted the YKMN protocol within her own systems. “....wow.”

“She's just clearing her system files out to make sure she doesn't recognize me as human anymore...what the fuck d'you find so 'amazing' or whatever about that?”

“....it's just....it's hard to explain—”

“Deleting instances.” Lina's eyes were now giving a red, throbbing glow, like one of the flash drives I used to own (before it got put through the dryer a few too many times). “Deleting....deleting....”

I placed my hands on her shoulders—purely out of habit, and the fear that she might collapse when she was done.

“Deleting....all deprecated instances deleted. A.I. Subystem conflicts resolved.” Lina blinked a few times, the glow in her eyes fading. “I'm okay, Matt,” she murmured, glancing at me and smiling—she twitched a bit, but not as bad as when she'd first seen Lucy. “I just had to clear my head.” She glanced at Lucy's unmoving form. “.....did you two....”

I shook my head. “I'm a one-woman man....never thought I'd say that...” I cleared my throat. “Anyway, ah...” I nodded to the monitor at the far side of the room. “Lucy told me—”

“Lucy....” Lina turned her attention to the monitor, scowling. “Lucy, you JERK!”

“Well, hello to you too, Lina—”

“Why didn't you—you—you—” Lina seized up for a second. “—you TELL me you were a gynoid from the start?!”

“I had my reasons for not telling you, okay?” Lucy sighed. “Well, seeing as how you know now, it's as good a time as any.....right, Story Time for Lina and the Dipshit—”

“You know damn well my name is Matt.”

“.....sorry. Story Time for Lina and Matt....” Lucy sighed. “Spoiler alert, this one ain't gonna be happy.”

The image on the monitor seemed to split, right down the middle: Lucy on one side, and what appeared to be an old photo on the other. “Once upon a time, there was a promising robotics major named Audrey Seward. She had a lot going for her—groundbreaking A.I. algorithms, the respect of her peers on campus, the possibility of winning a Nobel Prize for her work....and one big fucking strike against her: cancer. Specifically, breast, stomach, ovarian and brain. Luck of the draw, with her....”

“...damn.” I glanced at Lina, who looked positively devastated.

“...well, the good news is, or was, the Institute wasn't about to let all that knowledge and crap go to waste. They signed off on a full, 1:1 reproduction of her—she put as much of herself into my coding as she could, the 'new' body was an exact recreation of the old as far as appearances go...the day they switched me on was the day she died. They wanted to try some kind of brain imaging technique, but for some fucking reason, they didn't have the money for it...”

“....so why the name change?”

“Legal bullshit. Once Audrey Seward was dead and buried, they could falsify records and have Lucy Sievers show up to pick up where she left off. Problem solved....at least, until now.”

“....which brings us right back to Square One.” I glanced at the still-smoking remains of Lucy's former body.

“All we need to do now is get somewhere with a secure network that isn't infected with the stupid virus—Lina's secure, by the way, since I put her on your network after the transfer.”

“What if she connects to the network here—”

“I can't.” Lina glanced at the monitor. “It's why Lucy had to give me the override command verbally.”

“...right. And your, ah, new body—”

“Wait, new—new—new body?” Lina glared at the monitor, ignoring her right eye deciding to blink on its own.

“....I'll explain after the transfer, okay?! For now, just get to my bedroom...there should be a capsule or a crate, it'll be in there. Thumbprint lock, you're set to open it, all that good shit...just get it out, get it to my car in the garage and we can get the fuck out of here before the network locks down and starts Purge Mode.”

“....Purge Mode?” Even if Lina and Lucy weren't tired of my “echo effect”, I was.

“It'll run a full purge of the house network,” Lina explained. “Complete factory reset on everything.”

“The security systems will recognize me in my new body after the transfer,” Lucy added. “So I won't get locked out of here or any shit like that just because of some stupid random virus...”

“...makes sense.” I nodded. “Ah, how long do we have until the network decides to initiate 'Purge Mode'?”

“50 minutes. It's not going to erase Lina or me, or make the house want to kill you or anything...”

“...wasn't really thinking about that, but thanks for bringing it up.” I rolled my eyes; Lina had already set off for Lucy's bedroom, leaving me to converse with Lucy. “So....ah, about all of this....”

“Wasn't your fault. Like I said, the virus made me 'want' you, I couldn't do shit to fight it....”

“.....so, no hard feelings?”

“.....to be honest, it's not the first time I've been broken,” Lucy admitted. “I've been online for....what, five or six years, now....maybe seven, maybe a few more. Kind of blurs together after a while. Anyway, the Institute's managed to foot the bill for my repairs, so far, but the new body's pretty much the most advanced they've made so far, so the policy this time around was if anything happened to break the old one, I just transfer to the new one.”

“....and what happens to the old one?”

“Scrapped for parts, the face gets stored so that there's not another Lucy walking around on campus.”

“Sounds like they've really got things in order.”

“Pretty much. Now all I need to do is figure out where the fuck we're going to go to get a secure network that'll let me transfer to my new body without any bullshit....”

Instantly, I knew. “....my uncle's. His shop has a secure network. He repairs arcade machines, some of 'em need a WiFi connection for scorekeeping, updating, all that stuff....if we can get you there, set you up and connect you, we can make the transfer, and you'll be good as new?”

“...can we trust him?”

“He's a bit...out there, sometimes, but I'd trust him with my life, if need be.”

“Your new body's in the car,” Lina called out. “Pretty sure the monitor's not going to fit in there, though...”

“You're not taking the rig, Lina. I'm transferring to the tablet you were on before I built your body.”

Lina was somewhat surprised. “You're using that? I thought we got rid of that thing!”

“I set it up to be as comfortable for you as possible before you got your body....mainly because I had a feeling I'd need to use it myself eventually. Better to have it and not need it, all that shit.”

“So...how long will it take to transfer?”

“....give me a sec....” Lucy sighed, then vanished from the TV screen....and a few seconds later, an all-too familiar voice could be heard swearing from inside a drawer: “OPEN THE FUCKING STUPID DRAWER, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!”

“....you want to, or should I?”

“I'll go,” Lina giggled, heading for the drawer and retrieving the tablet. “You okay in there, Lucy?”

“....I've been worse. At least I don't feel an obsessive need to fuck something.”

“Lucy....”

“I'll call my uncle, tell him to expect us...” I retrieved the phone, sighing. “This has to be one of the craziest weeks I've had in a good long while...” I glanced at Lina. “...of course, it has had its perks.”

Lina grinned. “Can't argue with that...right, Lucy?”

“....considering the fact that I'm on a fucking tablet right now, I could....but whatever.”

“I still don't get what really happened between you two, though,” Lina mused. “I mean...”

An annoyed sigh issued from the tablet. “I had to upgrade my systems—y'know how I do a lot of work from the Institute here at home?”

Lina rolled her eyes. “Yes...”

“Well, I....decided to bypass the Institute's servers, get the link without virus-scanning, and I got hit with something.....”

“She tried to get it on with me and broke herself.”

“...what he said.” I couldn't see the screen of the tablet, but I could tell Lucy—or her A.I. projection, or whatever—was rolling her eyes. “Also, I...kinda sorta maybe I direct-linked, to get the update—”

“You always told me not to direct-link!” Lina protested.

“Yeah, well.....I thought I could fucking handle it, okay?” An annoyed groan issued from the tablet. “...anyway, the stupid fucking virus made me think about how happy you two are together, and I kinda sorta maybe got a little bit, I dunno, jealous of you...and I decided that what I really needed was the same kind of love you had, except the stupid fucking virus decided to replace 'you need love' with 'you need to fuck Matt', so...”

I shrugged. “She tried to put the moves on me, I refused her advances, and, well...”

Despite her annoyance at Lucy for having broken her own rule about direct-linking, Lina nodded. “So, we just bring you to Matt's uncle Frank and try to transfer you there?”

“....actually, now that you know....I was thinking we could try it here.”

“...and you actually want me to help with the transfer?”

“I designed you, wrote you and fucking built you myself, Lina. You're only the second person I'd even fucking ask to do this for me.”

“And who's the first?”

My question earned me a derisive snort. “Me, obviously.”

“....so nobody at the Institute—”

“I'd get my fucking security clearances revoked for half a fucking year if they found out about this. We do this here...and, I guess, at Uncle Frank's, if we have to.”

I nodded. “....so, ah, do you need my help with anything?”

“You can go get my new body out of the fucking car, for starters.”

“Lucy....” Lina rolled her eyes. “He's just offering to help.”

“Yeah, well....that thing about me not missing my body is starting to be less true with every passing minute. It's fucking comfortable in here, just for an A.I., and all...” There was a pang of something in Lucy's voice...regret? Sadness? “...I just want this to get this shit sorted out. Fuck if I care where it happens...like I said, I just want to get this fucking thing over and done with, okay?”

“I'll do what I have to do,” Lina replied. “Matt....”

“Right, right....which way is the garage?”

With Lina pointing the way, I headed off to where Lucy's new body had been stashed in the waiting car—and I'll be the first to admit, I've never seen a garage that looked less like a garage than Lucy's. The whole thing honestly looked a lot more like an actual robotics lab than an average garage—a scaled-down robotics lab, maybe, but a robotics lab all the same. There were sketches on the walls, some of which were half-formed versions of Lina's face, and maybe eight or nine photos of “possible” designs for Lina; a few human-sized crates over in the corner caught my eye, but I figured Lucy wouldn't exactly like it if I went poking around all over the place, so I restricted my attention to the car.

Apart from not having holes in the forehead and midsection, Lucy's soon-to-be new body was pretty much exactly like her old one....well, there was one other difference.

“Ah, Lina?”

“...yeah?”

“.....did Lucy forget to, ah, dress her new body? She's butt-naked in here!”

From a certain point of view, she wasn't naked—though I'd hardly count a sheet of polystyrene as clothing . At least her skin color wasn't dictated by whether or not she was online, otherwise anyone who'd passed us on the road would've called the cops about a car hauling a girl who looked “dead...wrapped in plastic”. Yeah, that would've been more than a bit awkward to explain....

Three minutes later, with Lucy's new body on the dining room table (and tastefully attired in yoga pants and a sports bra, both in basic black), Lina set to work on trying to transfer her A.I. from the tablet to...well, Lucy. “Okay, so where do we start?”

“...tap twice behind the left ear, and a port should open on the rear of the neck.”

“Right.” Lina tapped behind the inert gynoid's left ear, which was followed by a hiss. “It's open.”

“Connect the tablet, and find the secure network that doesn't have a house icon by it.”

“....got it....there!”

“You know my password for my laptop, right?”

“.....yeah.”

“Enter it here. You should get a confirmation notice that the transfer process is beginning—”

“While we're all here, ah.....why, exactly, did you need to move your A.I. from your body into the PC on the wall?”

My question earned me a curious stare from Lina—and a groan from Lucy. “Are you fucking kidding me?!”

“I'm...actually kind of curious about that, myself,” Lina admitted.

“....fine. I didn't want my entire personality overridden by that stupid virus making me want to fuck the nearest bipedal lifeform, or whatever, and my body's power core was redlining anyway. If I'd stayed in that old body any longer, I'd have been corrupted beyond repair.”

“....and you were actually able to fit....well, yourself into a PC?”

“Custom rig, Einstein. I was able to jump from my body to that rig because I built the fucking rig.”

“.....I guess that makes sense.” I glanced at Lina. “Does that make sense to you?”

“Who the fuck cares how much fucking sense it fucking makes?! Just fucking get the fuck on with the fucking transfer!”

Lina rolled her eyes. “It makes sense,” she murmured, grinning. “Okay, so what—what—” She groaned. “What now?”

“....where the fuck were we?”

“I got the confirmation notice about the transfer beginning...” Lina glanced at the tablet. “....it looks like it's started.”

“Okay, just don't mess with it at all.....wait....oh, fuck.”

“What?” Lina frowned. “I didn't mess up, did I?”

“Not you, the fucking stupid network! I thought all of these were—” Lucy's body jolted, nearly sending the tablet to the floor; Lina was able to grab it before it fell. “What's going on?!”

“Fucking....SHIT! The network's crashing hard!”

“I thought we had almost an hour until that Purge Mode thing kicked on!”

“It's not fucking Purge Mode, damnit....someone's trying to—” Lucy's body siezed up again, her head jerking from side to side like she'd been possessed.

“LUCY!” Lina held down Lucy's body by the shoulders, doing her best to not drop the tablet in the process.

“....fuckers....trying to....down....network.....” Lucy sounded like she was legitimately trying to fight to keep the transfer ongoing. “...Lina...my room. Backups....fifth and sixth drawers.”

“How up to date are they?”

“Just....added to them....this morning.....oh, FUCK....” The nipples on Lucy's body stiffened and crinkled under the sports bra; her hands clenched and unclenched. “....Lina, kill the connection.”

“....Lucy, I—I—I—” Lina clenched her teeth, fighting through her own malfunction-induced tics.

“LINA, KILL THE CONNECTION NOW.”

“It might corrupt your files, or...or....or....” Lina shook her head. “...it could delete you!” She was on the verge of panicking, just like when she'd first noticed that Lucy was a gynoid.

“My backups are current as of this morning, before I ramped up my settings and direct-linked. At the most, I'll lose just a few hours of my memories, all from today. Those backups have all of my memories, including my notes and design documents from when I built you.” Lucy's voice, despite sounding somewhat commanding, took on a note of sympathy as she continued: “...yes, you run the risk of losing me by killing the connection, but even if you do, it'll be temporary.”

“....okay.” Without another word, Lina pulled the cord from the tablet out from the panel at the back of Lucy's neck; her body instantly stopped siezing up, and returned to its lifeless state (nipples included).

“...Lucy?”

The tablet's screen had gone dim...but after a few seconds, a voice: “....I'm here.”

“Are you, well...okay?” I leaned in to see for myself.

“Only 25% of the transfer completed. Everything that makes me, well, me is still on the tablet...everything that I need to run my body is in my body. The new one, I mean.”

“....so, you didn't forget anything?” Lina asked. “Nothing got...erased?”

“The only things I don't have access to are the files to move my body around. Like I said, those are in the new body now—”

An alarm klaxon went off, accompanied by Lucy's voice: “Ten minutes to Purge Mode...backup all your shit now, or you'll fucking lose it. Or don't back it all up, I don't give a fuck.”

Lina groaned. “You couldn't even do the alarm announcements without talking like that?”

“100% authenticity, Lina. If they didn't sound like me, I wouldn't take 'em seriously.”

“....so the network here is officially borked, then....” I looked around, surprisingly at ease considering what I'd nearly had to endure when I first got there. “.....which means...”

“We go to your uncle's. Lina, go get my backups and load 'em into the car, then—”

“You ever consider asking nicely?”

I could tell Lucy was doing her best to glare at me from the tablet. “....what?!”

“I'll go get the backups,” Lina offered. “You two....try not to yell at each other, or anything, okay?”

I nodded. “I'll do my best.”

“Glad to hear it.” Lina grinned. “Lucy?”

“.....no promises.”

“Lucy....”

“....fine, I won't fucking yell at him.”

“Good—and no swearing, either, got it—it—it—it?” Lina groaned at her glitch-induced tics.

“Why the fuck are you telling me not to swear?! And run a fucking defrag on yourself before we leave....please.”

Lina rolled her eyes. “Just try not to drive each other insane for the next minute or so...” With that (and a quick kiss on the cheek for me), she headed off to the bedroom.

“....so, ah, just for the record....no hard feelings?”

“What, about me glitching out, trying to fuck you and bricking my old body in the process? I'd have run out the mileage on that one sooner or later....not that I liked how it went out—”

“With a bang, you might say.”

I could tell that if Lucy could've had her body glare at me in that instant, she would've. “....really?”

“....too much?”

“Just shut the fuck up and wait for Lina to get back.....” A sigh sounded from the tablet's speakers. “....and, just for the record, I'm not pissed off at you for what happened. It was my own fucking fault.”

“....fair enough.”

“I got the backups,” Lina called out, making her way back to the kitchen table. “And for the record, I can run the defrag while we're on the road...I also saved a bunch of your binders and notebooks and stuff. They're in the trunk.”

“You didn't have to save all of those...”

Lina shrugged. “Well, I figured they might help when we get to Matt's uncle's shop.”

“They might—”

“Five fucking minutes to Purge Mode. Either back your shit up or fucking lose it....your fucking loss.”

I rolled my eyes, and Lina frowned at the tablet. “After this is all over, you're rerecording those alarm messages.”

“Again, seniority—”

“Can you two maybe save this debate for another time?”

“Matt's right....we should probably get going.” Without hesitation, Lina grabbed Lucy's body around the waist, lifting it off the table with zero effort. “I'll go put your body back in the car...”

“I'll bring the tablet. It's the least I can do...”

“Just don't drop it, or I'll kick your fucking ass as soon as the transfer's done.”

“Lucy...” Lina shook her head. “You might want to look into rewriting some of your personality files so you don't swear so much, after the transfer...”

“...might be asking for too much there, Lina.”

Something in Lucy's tone was more than a bit unsettling, but Lina didn't really pick up on it. “So your uncle will be able to help us out?”

“If he can't help us himself, he'll at least let us use his shop...” I shrugged. “He does work on 'exotic machines'....”

Lina smirked. “And how far up the 'exotic' chart would Lucy and I be?” she asked.

“You're a Hell of a lot more than just a 'machine', Lina.” I kissed her on the forehead. “I'll punch the first prick who tries to say otherwise.”

“Can you two make with the kissy-kissy shit after the transfer?! I'd kinda sorta maybe like to have a body again!”

Lina giggled. “I think that's our cue to hit the road, Matt.”

Part 4

Of all the things I'd thought I'd be doing over the course of the day, the prospect of driving to my uncle Frank's shop with my gynoid girlfriend (who was the one doing the actual driving) and her former owner—who just so happened to be a gynoid herself—in the backseat of said former owner's car wasn't high on the list.

And yet....

“We should be there in a few minutes,” Lina stated, more to calm Lucy down than anything else. “You holding up okay back there?”

“....well, I can't get too pissed off about this fucking tablet,” Lucy—or rather, her voice—replied, from the tablet resting atop the motionless figure of her soon-to-be new body. “Kind of miss having actual limbs, at the moment, but other than that, no problems.”

“Glad to hear it. Matt?”

“....I'm good.”

Given the fact that I was leaning back in the front passenger's seat, trying not to reflect too deeply on the various forms of high strangeness I'd been seeing all day—or, for that matter, all week—it didn't take Lina too long to figure out that I was sugarcoating things. “....you don't sound good.”

“Yeah, well....” I tried to chuckle, but it sounded more like a cough. “....given the circumstances....”

“I already fucking said I was fucking sorry for fucking trying to fucking fuck you, okay?”

Now, I did chuckle. “You sure you're not still infected, Lucy?”

“She always swears that much,” Lina admitted, giggling.

“Nobody's had a problem with it before today....I mean, I'm pretty sure Audrey swore that much, when she was alive, since she was in near fucking constant pain, in those days....” Lucy (or her self-projection on the tablet, at least) rolled her eyes. “Guess she put more of herself into my coding than she thought.”

“I guess that makes sense....though I'm still trying to wrap my brain around the whole thing of the Institute considering transferring her consciousness into a gynoid body. You're telling me that's actually possible?”

“It's been in the works since the 80s....pretty sure a few people tried back then, but it never really got off the ground.”

“Transferrence-types have been a really big deal over the last few years, too,” Lina added. “A lot of people kicked up a fuss over it, said it was 'blasphemy', or something like that, but for people with incurable conditions, it may be the last hope for them to ever have a normal life.”

“....'transferrence-types'?” The echo effect, again.

Lina pressed a button by the steering wheel, and the car turned the corner by itself while she turned to face me. “Well, there are plenty of types of androids and gynoids out there,” she explained, counting them off on her fingers. “You've got domestic, companion, public service, law enforcement, educational, military, entertainment, pleasure, industrial, maintenance...”

“You forgot sexbot,” Lucy muttered

“That overlaps with the pleasure category,” Lina stated—casually, like she was talking about a brand of shoes.

“....and which of those would you qualify as?”

“Like I told you at the party, I'm not really made to fulfill a specific function. I've got programming suites for domestic tasks, and being with you pretty much fits the bill for 'companion'...and before someone decides to bring it up, you've already...experienced...my sexual programming—”

“I still think it's weird you went anal for the first one.”

“LUCY!”

“....anyway.” I checked the rear-view mirror, more out of habit than anything else. “So you're....what, multi-type, or an all-purpose type?”

“You can use either term,” Lina replied, grinning. “Also, I'm surprised Lucy wasn't set up as a sleeper—”

“What, like in the Bourne movies?”

Lina frowned. “....not quite. A sleeper android or gynoid is one that doesn't know they're an android or gynoid.”

“....why wouldn't they know?”

“Plenty of reasons, dipshit. They could've been transferred after a traumatic accident, they might be living somewhere run by assholes who don't consider androids as people, they might be part of some really complicated experiment or some shit like that....”

“I get the picture.” I glanced out the window, watching the scenery go by as the car made another turn.

“Speaking of getting, or not getting....you're sure your uncle won't have a problem with just letting us set up and do the transfer at his place?”

“If we explain the situation, I'm pretty sure he won't have a problem with it—and if he figures out the whole thing with Lina and the phone, we'll explain that, too.” I shrugged. “He won't fly off the handle and throw us out, or anything like that....at least, I don't think he will. I mean, he didn't have a problem with me going on the forum for so long.”

“Yeah, but all that's just imagination and Photoshop. Lina and I....”

Whatever Lucy said next, I didn't really pay attention to; I'd checked the rear-view mirror, just to save Lina the trouble of having to look away from the road...and that stupid black Suburban was behind us. On the plus side, it wasn't riding the bumper; on the downside, it was, in fact, following us.

“....Matt?”

“Yeah?”

Even with her eyes on the road, I could tell Lina was concerned. “You look...worried.”

“....just thought I saw something weird on the side of the road, is all.” I have no idea why I didn't just fess up, then and there, about having seen the black Suburban already. “Maybe it was nothing.”

“In the fucking rear-view mirror?”

“Lucy...” Lina shook her head. “Whatever it was, it probably won't be a problem.”

As much as I appreciated Lina's positive thinking, the black Suburban was “a problem” all through the drive. Every time I thought it'd turned off on a side road or something, or that we'd managed to lose it, we'd turn a corner and bam. It'd be right on our asses again. I couldn't tell how many people were in the thing, thanks to the stupid tinted windows, and I wasn't about to tell Lina that I thought someone was following us.

After about five minutes of driving, though, I'd had enough.

“Can we stop at a gas station?”

“What for?” Apparently, Lucy was getting more and more bored of the trip with every passing minute.

“Snack break, piss break....maybe fill the car....”

“This car runs on hydrogen, not shitty fucking gasoline.” I could hear the snark in Lucy's tone. “Don't you watch the fucking news?”

“Not since 2015....” I'd heard of hydrogen as fuel becoming a big deal, at some point in...2017, maybe, but I hadn't really put any stock into it—at the time, I'd thought of it as a niche market, like electric cars. “Also, my brother's car still runs on gasoline, so—”

“Then your brother is driving a shitbox. Hydrogen fuel systems became mandatory across the board earlier this year.”

“...really....” I was starting to regret my decision to ignore the news. “Guess he'll need to either convert or trade it in...”

“We'll stop for a few snacks and a bathroom break,” Lina stated, ending the argument between Lucy and I before it could begin. “If they have a hydrogen filling station, we can use that.” She grinned.

“....can't really argue with that plan...” I checked the rear-view again—yep. Still there. “I haven't had dinner yet...”

“And that's our problem....why?”

“Well, you called Lina and me out to your place way before I had a chance to figure out what I'd want for dinner.....”

A few minutes later, Lina guided the car to a stop at a fuel station. Lo and behold, the three gasoline pumps I'd expected were gone, with new units in their place that had some kind of locking mechanism on the end of the dispensers. Lina didn't bother trying not to grin as she pulled up alongside one of the pumps. “I'll set it to fill,” she stated—more for Lucy's benefit than mine. “And then we'll get something for Matt to eat.”

“...fine.”

Lina and I got out of the car, with Lina moving to the dispenser and locking it in place where it connected to the car's tank. “Safety reasons,” she explained. “I'm surprised you hadn't heard about hydrogen fuel before...”

“I saw maybe one thing on Top Gear about it....the rest of the time, I was busy with work or family issues.” A vague memory of Fenton yelling about fuel shortages and some international conspiracy over the cost of oil during Easter the previous year came to mind, but quickly faded.

“Well, now you know.” Lina shrugged. “You go find something to eat...I'll watch the pump.”

“Right, right...” I headed into the actual store part of the gas station to find something that might approximate a meal.

The thought that I'd have to call the place a “filling station” briefly surfaced....

...only to be replaced by the revelation that the place was a lot....brighter, than I expected.

The girl behind the counter didn't seem to notice me before the door opened, but sat up and turned to regard me as soon as the bell chimed. “Hi! Need any help finding anything?”

“....no, I'm good, I'm...good.” I gave a quick, polite wave as I made my way down the aisles; once my phone was out of my pocket, I scrolled to FCon, opened it...three gynoids in the immediate area. I glanced over at the checkout girl; her hair was a sort of pinkish red, and her skin had a faint sheen going. I wondered, for a second or so, if her greeting to me was nothing but a pre-programmed phrase, a sound-byte queued up to play for any customer who walked in...

After a few seconds of this, I realized I was overthinking it. I was here to buy food and go take a piss, not to wander the floor and wax philosophical. With my aimless mental wandering done, I headed for the bathroom.

Once that issue was handled, it was back to the task of finding a quick dinner. A bag of chips, a shrink-wrapped sandwich from the cold food section and a bottle of lemonade made up the “menu” for my impromptu meal; the girl behind the counter once again looked somewhat bored until I approached, perking up to accept my card and cheerfully bid that I “have a nice day”.

“That didn't take long,” Lina mused, once I got back in the car. “Everything okay?”

I nodded. “....the girl behind the counter....ah...”

Lina arched an eyebrow. “A gynoid?”

“FCon confirmed it. That, and she had kind of pink hair...and her skin was kind of shiny...”

“Mass-market, probably. Retail jobs tend to use a lot more of them...even places as simple as a filling station.”

“Right....you, ah, don't have a problem if I eat in the car, do you?”

“Just try not to make a mess or anything...it's a fucking pain in the ass to clean this car.” I could tell Lucy was already bored with our stopover; I glanced at Lina, but she just shrugged. At the very least, when we left the station, there was no sign of the stupid black Suburban that had been following us—one less problem to worry about, on the way to Uncle Frank's. The conversation was light, and apart from Lucy being perpetually pissed off, the overall mood in the car was copacetic, as well.

Around twenty minutes later, the car lurched to a stop. “....we're here,” Lina declared, turning to glance at Lucy's inert body in the backseat. “I think Matt and I should go up, first, to explain the situation...then we can come back and get you out of the car to bring you in.”

“Fine....Just don't leave me sitting here too long.”

Lina turned and gave me a thumbs-up, with that winning smile of hers added for good measure. I just chuckled, clicking open the seatbelt fastener and following her to the front door of the shop.

“....Uncle Frank?” I knocked on the door a few times, hoping he wasn't taking a nap. “....uncle Frank, it's me, Matt!”

I heard someone stirring inside; past the various neon signs, movie posters and arcade flyers tacked up in the windows, I could barely see someone moving. Lina and I exchanged looks—both of us were, admittedly, a bit nervous (after all, how often does one have to explain the mechanics of gynoid A.I. trasnference to a relative?), but still calm.

The door opened, revealing Uncle Frank in his usual work attire. “...oh, hey, Matt! And the lovely Lina...”

I nodded. “We, ah, have a bit of a job for you...not so much a job, but a request..”

Lina gestured to the car behind us. “We have something that needs to be setup in your shop,” she explained. “Can we, ah, borrow the facilities for a while?”

“....well, now, that all depends on what kind of something you're talking about...” Uncle Frank shuffled past, making his way over to the car. Lina's eyes widened, but I just shrugged; neither of us could think of anything to say to get him to not examine the backseat.

“....you two sure you didn't take a wrong turn somewhere? This girl looks like she needs to go to the hospital!”

I glanced at Lina. “You want to tell him, or should I?”

“One of us has to,” she replied, sighing. “I'll—”

At that moment, Lucy spoke up—from the tablet—and made the decision for us. “This 'girl' needs a secure WiFi setup for an hour or so, pal, and if you don't let us use your fucking shop, we'll just go down the the fucking library!”

Uncle Frank seemed surprised. “...you, ah, wanna run that by me again?”

“It's, ah....complicated...” I jogged over to meet Uncle Frank at the rear passenger door of the car. “....this—the girl on the tablet and the, ah, girl in the backseat—is Lucy...one's her A.I., the other is...”

“My soon-to-be new body, if we can get this shit over with.”

After glancing at me, Lucy and Lina (who'd walked up to stand next to me), Uncle Frank nodded. “....right, right, I, ah, think I get the picture now.” He stepped aside for Lina to open the door and heft Lucy out. “....just bring her on inside and set her down on the work table—the one without anything on it.” He nodded again as Lina carried Lucy's new body into the shop, muttering all the while. “...all these years, never thought I'd....” He seemed to catch himself, noticing that I was still standing by the car. “....ah, you might want to close the door and lock the car up...don't want anyone to walk on by and, ah...” He made an exaggerated steering motion with both hands.

“Yeah, sure, ah, no problem...” I climbed into the backseat, leaning over the back of the front passenger seat to relock the doors from the front before backing out and closing the rear passenger door. “Shall we?”

I followed Uncle Frank into the shop, taking a minute to glance at the various posters, knick-knacks and collectibles that decorated the shelves and such. Uncle Frank, for his part, was a lot more...reserved, I guess the term would be, than usual. Once he saw Lina setting Lucy up on the table, it seemed like he couldn't (or wouldn't) stop muttering under his breath, nodding and circling the table, only occasionally seeming to notice Lina as he passed.

After a good two minutes of this, he stopped on the opposite side of the table from Lina, clapping his hands together and cracking his knuckles. “....so. What, exactly, are we about to do here?”

“Lucy needs a secure network to transfer her A.I. from the tablet to her new body,” Lina explained. “There was...an incident, at her house, and the network there isn't secure enough for the transfer process, so Matt suggested we bring her out here to use your network.”

“She's not still affected by what happened at her place,” I added.

“Right, right....” Uncle Frank took a few steps towards the far end of the table, absentmindedly stroking Lucy's hair.

“......so this is what you meant, Audrey,” he muttered. “They pulled it off after all...”

Lina gave him a bit of the side-eye, at that remark, but said nothing.

“Assuming nobody has any further questions....” I glanced at Uncle Frank, who merely shrugged. “As of right now we need to transfer Lucy from that tablet she's in...or her A.I. is in, or whatever, to her new body, otherwise....” I paused. “....actually, do we have to transfer you?”

“Oh, no, I'll be able to do all my Institute work just fine from a fucking tablet—YES, YOU FUCKING HAVE TO FUCKING TRANSFER ME, YOU FUCKING ASSWIPE!”

“All right, all right!” Uncle Frank glared at the tablet. “No more talk like that in here, otherwise nobody is getting any kind of transfer!” He took a deep breath, nodding. “Exactly how long is this gonna take?”

“An hour,” Lina replied, “maybe longer...if we don't have any interruptions, it might be done in fifty minutes.”

“And you can, ah, set this up without any help from me?”

“We'll need your WiFi password, but other than that....”

Uncle Frank gave the tablet one last look, before nodding. “....all right. It's, ah....” He leaned in and whispered to Lina, who nodded. “...and you forget I ever told you that, got it?”

“Got it.”

With that, Lina went to work setting up the tablet on the shop's WiFi network. I would've asked if I could do anything to help, but Uncle Frank took me aside. “....so, you knew Lucy was a, ah....”

“Gynoid. Lifelike humanoid female robot—believe me, it was as big a surprise to me as it is to you!”

“I'll bet...” Uncle Frank chuckled. “So she's just like all those robot girls you're always lookin' at on the forum.”

“Yes, Uncle Frank.”

“....and Lina?”

Before I could answer, a chime went off. “Security sensor...someone just drove into the parking lot....” He glanced around the shop, his attention settling on a security monitor that was placed, seemingly at random, on a nearby shelf at eye-level. “....well so much for it being a slow work day today...first you and the girls, now this. My money's on them needing to have a console fixed, or something with a remote controlled car...”

I turned to glance at the monitor—and felt a very familiar shiver of paranoia run up my spine. Lo and behold, it was the damn stupid black Suburban. The same one that had driven laps around my block and gone up and down my street, in the two days before Lina had moved in with me.

“...I think you might want to cancel that bet, Uncle Frank. Whoever's in that car...I don't think they're here for business.”

“You want me to send 'em on their way?” Uncle Frank offered. “I can give 'em the old Win A Freebie routine, tell 'em they've shown up just in time to walk outta here with a free pinball table...” He jerked a thumb at the far end of the shop, where about fifteen pinball tables were lined up, waiting to be worked on. “And all they'd have to do is spend about fifty minutes filling out a nice, long questionnaire!”

“Well, nobody's gonna have to worry about anything,” Uncle Frank assured me. “I'll head 'em off at the front door, you and Lina can keep watch over Audrey—”

“Her name's Lucy, Uncle Frank....are you sure you can take care of this on your own? What if they're—”

I stopped myself, doing a double-take at the monitor. Three women had just exited the Suburban, and each of them bore a remarkable resemblance to an actress I'd seen in the videos promoted, funded and (in some cases) created by members of the forum...but there was a distinct coldness to these three.

Two of them—a blonde and a redhead—were about the same height, and of the same build, with very little to tell them apart; one of them may have had slightly bigger boobs than the other, but it was impossible to tell from a distance, since they were both wearing weird jumpsuits that looked like they were made out of....vinyl, probably, or maybe pleather or just plain latex. The third woman—a redhead, like the second one out of the van—was shorter than the first two, but with a far curvier figure—and much bigger boobs. All three had an eerie, detached calm to them as they approached the front door....

….and sure enough, the phone in my pocket went off just as one of them started knocking. I pulled it out, tapped the screen, and proceeded to feel the rather bizarre simultaneous sensation of my blood going cold and my, ah, appreciation for the artificial female form growing as I beheld the FCon notice: Five gynoids in the immediate vicinity.

“Five?” Uncle Frank frowned, leaning in. “Lucy I get, and then there are those three at the door....but that's just four—”

“Everything okay?” Lina had walked over to where Uncle Frank and I were talking, noticing him looking tense and me looking...bored, more than anything else.

“....I, ah, just told Uncle Frank about Lucy....and he has a question he wants to ask you.” I nudged him lightly in the side, and he stepped up, giving a slight cough. “I was, ah.....well, I was wondering...seeing as how, well, Lucy is a....” He glanced over his shoulder at me, and I mouthed the word “gynoid”. “...ah, gynoid.....I was just wondering...well.

“If I'm one?” Lina finished, nodding.. “I am.”

“Right, right....” Uncle Frank nodded. “I dunno if it's rude to ask that kind of thing, or anything, but...well, I've seen some of those pictures he looks at—” I groaned, but he continued. “...women with their faces off, all that stuff....”

“And you never expected to see it in-person,” Lina finished.

“....well, yeah.”

“...just don't tell anyone you've seen me do this, okay?” Lina pulled her shirt up, stopping short of taking it all the way off, and traced a line from her navel to just below her breasts. As Uncle Frank and I watched, a seam appeared below her finger, forming a distinct line that actually seemed to deepen after a few seconds of her not touching it. With a wink, she reached at the edges of the line, gently tugging in either direction...

...and, as Uncle Frank and I watched—both fascinated (and, in my case, turned on beyond all belief), she pulled the synthetic skin of her abdomen away, revealing wires, servomotors, gel packs (including a pair attached to the insides of the artificial flesh she'd just peeled away), some kind of compact microcomputer assembly housed deep in her torso and a sort of polymer bag with tubes going up (towards her head) and down (towards...well, the other end, obviously). She shifted her weight from side to side, allowing us to see the movement of her internal servos.

After a few seconds of silently displaying her internals, she gently maneuvered the “skin” back into place, running her finger over the join where they connected. The line reappeared, this time fading after a few seconds.

“Well?”

“Impressive,” Uncle Frank muttered. “Very nice....and you're....”

“A home-build,” Lina replied. “Lucy wrote my A.I. and built my body.” Something about the casual way she'd said this, as if she were describing where she'd bought her clothes, was simultaneously hilarious and weirdly calming.

“.....right...”

“And you don't have a problem with the fact that Matt and I are...together?”

“...well, ah, that thing about 'realistic expectations'....” Uncle Frank couldn't seem to decide if he wanted to cup his chin in one hand or rub the back of his head, so he ended up doing both, which looked about as awkward as one would expect. “....didn't really think this would happen, back when I first told you that whole spiel...” He glanced at me, looking more than a bit sheepish. “No hard feelings there, eh, Matt?”

I chuckled. “None taken, Uncle Frank.”

“And I, ah....I don't have a problem with you two...being with each other, either,” he added. “You, ahh...planning to tie the knot, any time soon?”

“I was thinking....three or four months.” Lina shrugged. “If Matt doesn't have a problem with it—”

“I don't,” I blurted out, more than a bit surprised that she was so open to the idea, especially so soon. “I really, really don't.”

“...so you two are really in it,” Uncle Frank mused. “Full-blown L-O-V-E, then....” He regarded Lina with a particularly furitive glance. “...I apologize in advance if I sound like a skeptic, but...you're completely positive that it's not just the programming talking?”

“Matt made it clear that he's with me because he wants to be with me,” Lina replied; I could feel her hand brush against mine. “And, obviously, I've made it abundantly clear that I'm with him because I want to be with him. Lucy would never have signed off on us being together if it wasn't for that...it's definitely a mutual thing, between us.”

I nodded my agreement, taking hold of her hand and grinning. “It's not about ownership or anything like that.”

“Matt definitely made that point clear.” Lina smiled and gently squeezed my hand. “Which I'm perfectly okay with.”

Uncle Frank regarded the pair of us, nodding his approval. “Well, I, ah...didn't really have a contingency plan for my own godson agreeing to spend his life with a robot girl...” He stopped himself. “....do you, ah, prefer the term 'gynoid', or is it okay if I say 'robot girl' instead?”

“Any prick can put tits on a tin can and call it a 'robot',” Lucy called out from the table. “I personally prefer 'gynoid'.”

Lina rolled her eyes. “'Robot girl' is fine, and 'android' can be used to refer to both male and female humanoid robots, but the general consensus is that 'gynoid' works better for just the females.” She shrugged, letting go of my hand in the process. “As long as I'm being referred to as 'she' and 'her', and not 'it', I'm fine.”

“Oh, you are far more than just an 'it',” Uncle Frank assured her. “I could never imagine you as an 'it'...you're just too beautiful to be an 'it'!”

“...pretty sure that's a compliment,” I added.

Lina hugged us both in quick succession. “Thanks again for letting us use your shop, sir....”

“Oh, no need to be so formal, Lina. You can call me Frank...and, ah, despite the insistence of certain family members, I don't care for the title of 'Mr. Holmwood'...way too hoity-toity for me—”

The knocking at the door cut off any further discussion of my plans for a future with Lina. “....more customers?” Lina asked, arching an eyebrow.

I nodded at the monitor. “Those three at the door. Like I said, I get the feeling that they're not here for small talk.”

“How can you be sure—”

“There was a black Suburban driving around the block, the day after you and I met...it never stopped at my place, but whoever was inside, they were getting out at every other house on the street and asking questions. The day after they did that, they drove up and down the street, just...looking at houses, and people.” I took a deep breath. “I didn't really think they might've been after you and Lina until...well, now...”

“You could've mentioned them before Lucy and I showed up at your place with the paperwork,” Lina murmured, sounding equally concerned and annoyed. “Why didn't you say anything?”

“I didn't want you to worry...” I scowled at the idling Suburban outside. “I just get a feeling those three are bad news.”

“..atatatata, you don't know that,” Uncle Frank countered, doing that waving thing he tended to do when debating with someone. “Some people have to wear strange things when they go door-to-door...I remember once, years ago, your aunt Ruth had to dress up like Dorothy Gale from The Wizard of Oz to help promote a 'Save the Strand' fundraiser for the community theater!”

I frowned. “There's a pretty big difference between gingham and latex, Uncle F rank.”

“....eh, well....”

“Just keep them busy,” Lina advised. “I'll see if there's anything I can do to speed up the transfer process and get Lucy from that tablet into her new body before those three outside decide to barge in...” She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. “Wish me luck.”

I returned the favor, brushing a hand across her cheek. “Let's hope we don't need it.”

Lina nodded, grinning as she turned to head for the work table.

“Well...” I shrugged. “I guess it's on you to keep those three distracted, Uncle Frank.”

“Eh, just give me a few minutes and they'll be wishing they were gone.” With a smile and a rapid-fire nod, Uncle Frank headed for the front door, opening it to reveal the three women from the Suburban. “Hel-lo, ladies!” He tried to lean to the left, only to forget there was nothing to lean on, and nearly fell over; he quickly scrambled to catch himself and leaned back to the right instead, still smiling as if he'd intended to almost fall on his ass. “It delights me to inform you that you three are the first customers of the day, and as such are elligible to win a pinball machine! All you have to do is take a few minutes to fill out a—”

“We are here for Lucy Sievers.” The taller redhead spoke, her voice radiating that same eerie calm as her expression.

“....fill out a free questionnaire,” Uncle Frank continued, as if she hadn't spoken. “At the end of the month, if your names are chosen, the pinball machine of your choosing will be delivered to...by the way, I just have to ask, are you three sisters, or just business associates—”

“You will take us to Lucy Sievers,” the blonde cut in, the calmness of her voice clashing with her demand.

“....business associates, then.” Uncle Frank nodded. “So, ah, I happen to have the questionnaire with me—”

The shorter redhead stepped up, effectively pushing Uncle Frank back into the shop with her boobs. “You will take us to Lucy Sievers now. We cannot afford further delays.”

“Now wait a minute, wait just a minute!” Uncle Frank actually pushed the shorter redhead back outside. “You can't just barge in here and start throwing your weight around like you own the joint! Shoving everybody around, pushin' 'em to and fro with all that, ah, buoyancy ya got there up front! It's inconsiderate!”

The redhead didn't seem too miffed at his rebuke, though her taller “sister” stepped up to take her place. “Do not delay us any further. We must speak to Lucy Sievers at once.”

“Now look here, missy,” Uncle Frank retorted. “There's no Lucy Sievers in here! I think you've got the wrong place!”

The blonde cocked her head to the side for a moment. “Processing.....processing....”

Uncle Frank, to his credit, feigned ignorance. “...look, you want to find this Lucy Sievers, I'll tell you what I'll do. I've got the Yellow Pages in here, I can just go look up her number and you can call her—you've got phones, right? I'll go get her number...” He turned to go “find the Yellow Pages”. “...and you three can just stay out here and—”

The taller redhead grabbed him by the shoulder. “You will take us to Lucy Sievers, without any further delays.”

“..I told you,” Uncle Frank insisted, “I don't know who you're talking about!” He brushed the redhead's hand off of his shoulder. “And it's really rude to just invade someone's personal space like that, y'know!”

His words did little to dissuade the redhead. “We must speak to Lucy Sievers—”

“At once, without further delay, yadda yadda yadda.” Uncle Frank did a sort of spiral wave, as if to dismiss the redhead's claims. “You're starting to sound like a broken record, lady!”

“This unit is not broken. This unit is functioning perfectly.”

“....unit? What, are you from some kinda cult, or something?!” Again, given the fact that he'd seen Lina show off her inner workings, and knew about Lucy needing the transfer, Uncle Frank was doing a damn good job of acting like he had no clue what the redhead was going on about. “Well, I'm sorry, but the sign above the door clearly states that this shop doesn't do business with solicitors, especially from some wacky cuckoo bunch of crazies that calls their own people 'units' and has them go around dressed in latex! I mean, what if I was allergic, d'you ever think about that?! I'd be on the ground right now, my throat closing up from anaphylactic shock!”

The redhead nearly said something, only for the blonde to stiffen. “Signal detected. Lucy Sievers is inside.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute!” Uncle Frank held up both hands. “I don't know what kind of con you ladies are trying to run on me, here, but I'm telling you the straight truth, there's no Lucy Sievers in—”

The taller redhead shoved him aside, sending him crashing into a shelf. “Unit One, find and retrieve Lucy Sievers.”

“As you command me.” The blonde headed off to the left, ignoring Uncle Frank scrambling to get to his feet.

“Unit Two, neutralize resistance.”

“As you command me.” The shorter redhead turned to regard Uncle Frank, who was already pulling himself up via the shelf he'd been thrown into. “...now, just wait a minute,” he protested. “You can't just kick open the door and—”

The redhead's hand closed around his throat. “Neutralizing resistance....”

“Oh, to HELL with this....” I grabbed the nearest thing that looked remotely like a weapon—a pipe wrench, fittingly enough—and stepped out from where I'd been hiding. “YO, SHE-BITCH!”

The two redheads turned, in unison, to stare at me—the shorter one was still trying to choke out Uncle Frank.

I held out my left hand, palm up, and dared them to attack. “Come get some.”

The shorter of the two redheads flat-out dropped Uncle Frank, turning to stalk towards me. Under any circumstances that might be considered “normal”, there was no way I'd go so far as to bash a woman's face in with a pipe wrench...but these were most definitely not normal circumstances. These three had referred to themselves (and each other) as “units”, the one making her way towards me had just tried to strangle my uncle, and they were all here to take Lucy for whatever reason....

Thus, as the redhead with the biggest tits of the three walked towards me, only one thought entered my mind.

It. Was. On.

As soon as the shorter redhead was in range, I swung the wrench—aiming for the midsection, first, since I had a feeling aiming for her boobs was going to be like bashing a pillow with a bat. She staggered, but only for a few seconds—it was like some weird remake of that Boston Dynamics video where the four-legged robot got kicked repeatedly, but didn't fall over and just kept going. Well, it was as much like that video as you can get if you'd replace the quadruped robot with a 5'3” gynoid with big tits and a very probable motivation to kill me...anyway, I swung again, this time aiming for her head, and giving a quick “YES!” when the wrench connected.

Apparently, going for the head had more of an impact than swinging for her abs—she tried to glare at me, but her head (or rather, her neck) kept making these clicking, rizzing noises, and her head stayed turned to the right. “Unit Two has been com-com-com-com-com-”

I wasn't able to savor my victory for long, since the taller redhead was making her way towards me. I reared back with the wrench and swung—but she caught it, mid-swing. The triumphant smile on my face pretty much melted away (I'll admit, though, something further down was actually growing), and I actually muttered “oh, fuck” when she tore the wrench out of my hand. I staggered a few steps back, hoping to not get clocked across the head with the thing...but for whatever reason, the redhead decided to go help “Unit Two” instead, taking her head in both hands, lifting it up and just yanking it back to where it was supposed to go.

“Error corrected.” Unit Two turned to regard....Unit Three, I guess. “Continuing objective.”

Unit Three nodded. “Requesting additional support from Units Four and Five. Acknowledge.”

I expected two more women to march in through the still-open front door of the shop....and was instead greeted by the sight of two rather tall, rather jacked men striding in and surveying the scene. Neither of them went to help Unit Three or Unit Two, instead going off in the same direction as Unit One had...

...which, of course, left me to fend off Units Three and Two all by my lonesome.

Or so I thought.

“Lucy Sievers will be removed from the premises,” Unit Three stated, striding towards me. “Further interference in our objectives will...will....willl...willllllllllll—” Smoke started wafting from her mouth, and it didn't take too long to see why: Uncle Frank had apparently recovered enough to jab her in the back with a cattle prod!

“I've got this!” he assured me. “Just make sure these clowns don't get to—”

Unit Two knocked the cattle prod out of his hands, sending him scrambling backwards. “Interference in our mission will not be tolerated,” she stated, methodically making her way towards Uncle Frank. Unit Three, meanwhile, hadn't yet recovered from the cattle prod, and was still seizing up; just to be on the safe side, I carefully edged past her and grabbed the prod. “If gynoids can get sinus pain...” I let my lame joke die out before I jammed the prod up Unit Three's nose causing her eyes to go wide and even more smoke to flow from her mouth (and, of course, her nostrils). Her hands opened and closed of their own volition; her nipples immediately hardened under her suit (like I wasn't going to notice that), and her jaw went slack. In mere seconds, she collapsed to the floor in a heap, like a marionette with cut strings.

“One down, four to—”

As if on cue, Unit Two clotheslined me across the back of the head, sending me to the floor in a heap; off in the distance, I could hear Lina throwing hands with the blonde. Unfortunately, I couldn't tell who was winning—especially when Unit Two grabbed the cattle prod off the floor and broke the damned thing—so much for my big advantage....

“Continued interference in our mission will be met with lethal force.” She stared me down, her expression utterly blank as I scrambled to put some distance between her and myself. “You will be neutralized.”

“You, ah, don't have to neutralize me....I'll, ah....I'll quit on my own!”

Unit Two continued stalking towards me. “You will be neutralized.”

“You really don't have to do this....I'll leave quietly, won't tell a soul...” Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Uncle Frank scrambling away behind Unit Two—and I could still hear Lina fighting off Unit One..

“Continued interference in our mission will be met—”

“Okay, do you have to keep saying that?! It's getting on my damn nerves!” I cracked my knuckles, trying to look a lot more like a badass than I felt. “If you're gonna do something, just do it and get it over with!”

Unit Two stopped in her tracks, and for a moment, I thought she was actually considering what I'd said....except I noticed rather quickly that her eyes had crossed, her lips were contorting into a grimace and she was actually trying to walk forward, but couldn't, for some reason. “File...file...file allocat....locat....locat....lolololololo—“ Something in her torso went off like a bandsaw, and she pivoted at the waist, her arms locked into Ls. “Corrupt....corrupt...corrrrruuppppppt...”

Uncle Frank leaned out from behind her, grinning. “Neodymium magnet,” he explained, holding up a rectangle the size of a deck of cards. “Just slapped it on her back for a few seconds, and her hard drive went VRRRRT!”

“...you got any more of those around here?”

“In safe storage, on the other side of the shop...I figured this one'd be enough to, ah 'neutralize' her.” Uncle Frank rose to a standing position, returning the magnet to the stricken Unit Two's back and quickly moving away from her before she could clock him upside the head. “So that's, what, two of them down, so far?”

“Yeah, but that still leaves—”

A scream rang out, draining any hint of victory from my face. “LINA!”

Uncle Frank and I raced around the shelves, hoping to reach the work table where Lucy's transfer was going on, only for one of the androids from the Suburban—Unit Four or Five, I didn't give a shit which—to step into our path. His face looked sort of like one of those linebacker types, or maybe a pro wrestler—in any case, with the cattle prod broken and the magnet still on Unit Two, our options to get past him were very limited. Making things even worse, he didn't even give us that much time to decide—before either of us could say a word, he strode towards Uncle Frank.

I glanced around at the shelves, hoping for something I could use against this Goliath...and spotted the jar with the bolt dissolving inside of it. Without hesitating, I grabbed it and yelled “HEY, STUPID!”

The android turned to glare at me—and in that instant, I threw the contents of the jar at him, dissolving bolt included.

For a brief instant, I thought I'd made a hideous mistake—the guy screamed in pain when the acid hit his face, and I nearly thought I'd just disfigured a human being....but that fear was replaced with abject horror when, after clawing at his acid-soaked face, the guy ripped it off in pieces, revealing a chromed skull, red eyes and perfect teeth under it.

I stammered a few expletives and backed away, fully expecting to crap my pants any second.

The android turned to glare at me, ignoring Uncle Frank for the time being. Without a word, he advanced, one arm held out in front of him—probably to grab me by the throat and choke the life out of me...thankfully, Uncle Frank struck again, literally in this case. I was too busy trying not to get killed to notice him grab a thing off of one of the shelves, and had backed myself up against a rack of tools, waiting for my inevitable end—which never came, thanks to a resounding clong on the back of the android's head.

“YOU WANNA FIGHT SOMEONE, BIG MAN?!” Uncle Frank shouted, wielding a fire extinguisher. “FIGHT ME!”

The android turned, advancing on him, only to get a spray of foam right to the face—or rather, a semi-liquidy stream of half-foam, half-chemical spray, given the fact that the extinguisher was probably from the late 80s or early 90s. This actually worked out to Uncle Frank's advantage—the liquidy bits actually went into the android's occular sensors (no sense in calling them “eyes” when they didn't even look like those anymore), causing something to short out and sending the already-damaged android into yet another face-clawing frenzy.

“C'mon, the work table's this way!” Uncle Frank gestured for me to follow him, edging past the frantic android.

We made it to the work table, and my heart nearly stopped. Somehow, Lucy had remained undisturbed, and the other male android had taken a power drill to the ear, which slowed him down significantly—he was still trying to pull the thing out as Uncle Frank and I reached the table...but to my horror, Lina was still locked in a one-on-one slugfest with Unit One. Worse than that, I could tell that however her earlier fight with the blonde had gone, this time, she was losing.

“LINA!” I charged forward, grabbing something long and rod-like from a nearby rack.

My battle-cry alerted Unit One to my presence—she sent Lina to the floor with a savage backhand, then turned to regard me with the coldest stare I'd ever had fixed on me before. “New directive confirmed: Secure Lina Sievers. Neutralize all resistance.” She sprinted in my direction, actually jumping onto the work table and leaping off of it towards me....

...so, instinctively, I thrusted the rod-like tool I'd taken off the rack upwards, thinking I'd impale her.

As it turns out, I did.....just....not in the way I'd expected.

The gasp of surprise was my first clue that Unit One had landed in a very different way than I'd expected on my hastily-grabbed weapon. Instead of going through her chest or her head, it had gone right between her legs—through her latex pants and all. Her face had lost that eerie calm, stoic look; her eyes were wide with shock, and her lips were locked in an “O” of astonishment.

I barely had time to comprehend what I'd just done before Uncle Frank yelled “TURN IT ON!”

Sure enough, there was a switch and a dial at the base of the thing; I quickly flipped the switch on and turned the dial all the way right. I wasn't even paying attention to the android with the drill in his ear anymore; all I could hope for was that whatever I'd just done would be enough to take down Unit One.

As it turned out, it was....in a very, shall we say, specific way.

Immediately, the blonde's eyes closed, her lips now forming a satisfied smile as moans of pleasure began to emanate from...whatever she had that passed for vocal chords. Instead of trying to pull herself off the tool, she was now vigorously humping the thing, going up and down it's considerable length.

“It's a lubricant blockage stimulator,” Uncle Frank declared, giving me a double thumbs-up. “You run it along the outside of a fuel line, and it sends out powerful vibrations to clear blockages in the line, so the fuel can go through!” He grinned and nodded. “Works great on jet liner fuel lines!”

I nodded, half in a daze—apparently, it was working just fine on Unit One, as well...in an entirely unintended capacity.

Unfortunately, yet again, any semblance of victory I may have felt was far too short lived—the android with the drill in its head had finally yanked the thing out and gone straight for Lina. Her scream of “MATT!” quickly cleared any fog in my brain—I looked away from the still-writhing Unit One to see the android roughly turn Lina's head to the side and press something behind one of her ears. Her eyes locked onto mine, and she looked scared out of her wits...seconds before her eyes closed and she slumped over, to be hoisted over the android's shoulder like a laundry bag.

“LINA!” I tried to rush the android, to kick the shit out of him, only get tripped up—Unit One was now thrashing around in the throes of some insanely powerful orgasm brought on by the lubricant blockage stimulator. “DAMN IT...”

The android was already out the door by the time I'd recovered—the one with the melted-off face followed suit, feeling his way around since his ocular sensors had been ruined. By the time I made it to the door, the pair—and Lina—were at the black Suburban—the one with Lina practically dumped her into the backseat, like she was nothing. The one with the ruined face made his way over to the front passenger seat.

“YOU FUCKING BASTARDS!” I charged out of the shop, nearly tripping again—which was actually a good thing, since one of the androids pulled a wicked-looking machine pistol from somewhere in the Suburban and fired off a quick spray at me. “SHIT...FUCKING...” This time, I did trip—a byproduct of simultaneously trying not to get shot and trying to still chase the fuckers who'd just taken Lina.

The android that had taken a drill to the ear was now behind the wheel, slamming the driver's side door and flooring the gas pedal. The one with the ruined face aimed the machine pistol without looking, letting off a blind spray of fire at me.

I couldn't give less of a damn. These android pricks had taken Lina, just thrown her in the back like she was nothing.....

My legs were on fire. My eyes stung. I was out of breath....but still, I tried to chase down that stupid black Suburban as far as I could run up the street. The only word that left my mouth was Lina's name—I screamed it, as if saying it enough times would magically teleport her to my side. “LINA! LINA!”

The Suburban sped off. The only way I'd be able to catch it now was if I were either Magneto or Superman.

I tried to keep running....but it was no use. The Suburban was gone, and Lina was gone with it.

Rage, fear, sadness, humiliation....all of those emotions and plenty of others besides flooded through my mind. I ran for a few more steps, refusing to give up, even when I knew I couldn't catch up. Finally, in the grips of defeat, I stood there in the middle of the road, my chest heaving. The stupid android pricks in the black Suburban—whoever they were—had won, at least for now.

I screamed her name, one last time: “LINA.....”

...followed swiftly by my rage finally exploding in a single word: “...FUCK!”

I collapsed into a kneel in the middle of the street, my fists still clenched. I barely even heard Uncle Frank approach me, barely felt his arm around my shoulder. It took me a few seconds to register the sound of his voice: “...c'mon. It's over, for now....Matt, c'mon....”

All I could do was close my eyes, hoping this was just a horrific nightmare.

“....let's go back inside...” I felt myself being gently shaken. “Matt....”

I opened my eyes. Uncle Frank was staring at me, without a single trace of his usual goofy-ass demeanor. “....we'll get her back, Matt. We're gonna get her back....”

For a second, I wanted to swear at him, to demand to know just how the fucking Hell we'd get her back from those fucks in that fucking piece of shit black Suburban....but the only sound that came out of my mouth was an unintelligible sob. I practically fell onto him, clinging to him like a drowning man to a life vest. We just stood there—him consoling me, and me sobbing into his shoulder—for...I don't even know how long.

Eventually, Uncle Frank pulled back, sighing. “C'mon....let's get back to the shop.” He jerked his thumb vaguely in the direction he'd come from; I nodded, letting him lead me back.

The place was an absolute mess, thanks to Units One through Five having rushed through it. Shelves had been knocked over, tools thrown around, oil and other fluids spilled. Unit Two was still glitching out, thanks to the neodymium magnet stuck to her back; over by the work table, Unit One was still riding the lubricant blockage stimulator—a sight which I barely registered as I shuffled in after Uncle Frank.

“....sit down, sit down,” he prompted, gesturing to an old, imitation-leather chair. “Deep breaths....just take a few deep breaths, Matt....” He nodded. “.....you need something to drink? Water, Sprite, Pepsi....might have a few beers in the fridge, all the way in the back....”

I managed to croak the word “Sprite”.

With another nod, Uncle Frank ambled over to a vending machine, going for his keyring instead of his wallet. He quickly unlocked the front of the machine, finding and removing a can of Sprite from the interior before closing it back up and locking it again. “On the house....don't tell anyone, okay?”

I accepted the can with a nod, cracking it open and taking a long pull from it.

For a few minutes, neither of us spoke. I took sips from the can of Sprite; Uncle Frank just stood there, watching me.

Eventually, I finished the can and threw it to the floor without bothering to crush it. I'd stopped crying—I couldn't tell when—but I was still devastated, pissed off and feeling like complete shit. I looked up at Uncle Frank; for some reason, I thought he'd be back to his usual, eccentric self....

...instead, he had a look of what I could best describe as iron resolve.

“....out there...” I nodded in the general direction of the door. “....you said....you said we were gonna get her back.”

Uncle Frank nodded. “I did. And I meant it...still do.”

I took a deep breath. “....how?” I looked around the shop; Unit Two was now emitting smoke from several orifices, while Unit One was locked in some kind of endless orgasmic loop on the lubricant blockage stimulator.

“...I've got ways, Matt. Believe me, I've got ways—”

“HOW THE FUCKING HELL ARE WE FUCKING GOING TO FUCKING GET LINA BACK?!” My fists were clenching again; I wanted, needed, to punch something, break something....

Despite my rage, Uncle Frank was unphased. “....I'll let that one slide, given what....” He sighed. “For starters, we still have Audrey—”

“Lucy.” I was staring at the floor again. “Her name is Lucy.”

“.....yeah, well....” Uncle Frank chuckled. “I knew the first one, the human one.” He paced back and forth as he spoke, looking at me to gauge my responses. “....she ever tell you how long she's been online?”

I did my best to recall the conversation before we'd driven out to the shop. “....five or six years....maybe seven or more.”

“....well, she's definitely been around longer than seven years.” Uncle Frank glanced at me. “I knew Audrey Seward way back at the tail end of the 90s....she died in 2002.”

“.....and?!”

“Did...Lucy...ever mention who backed her creation? Who paid for it, who funded it?”

“.....no.”

“Well, there's our first clue. And before you ask how I know all this....” He nodded to a framed certificate on the wall behind me.

“....what the Hell does the AirLine Pilots Association have to do with any of this?!”

“....no, no, no...go look behind it.” He gestured towards the certificate. “Go on, look.”

Slowly, still feeling insanely numb, I got out of the chair and went over to the certificate. I lifted it away from the wall, and found another one behind it—this one with a massive, holographic foil stamp. “ALPA..” I held a hand over this new certificate, squinting as I read the stamp. “....Artificial....Lifeform....Protection...Agency....” I turned to glance at Uncle Frank, more confused now than anything.

“After what happened with Audrey, I started doing some digging,” he explained. “Kept my ear to the ground...earned myself a visit from the ALPA—the second one, not the, ah, pilot one.” He chuckled at the memory. “I'll admit, I thought I was in deep doo-doo, at first...but they had a talk with me, and pretty soon, it was all copacetic. They told me how they'd been keeping tabs on the ones who backed the whole thing with...Lucy...” He grinned. “You remember how I always used to mention I have a plane? And a hangar?”

“....you never got a pilot's license, did you?”

“Oh, I did...their recommendation! I have the plane, too!” Uncle Frank chuckled again. “....anyway, we have plenty here to get started on where we need to go to find Lina....but, ah, that one—” He gestured off towards where Unit Two was having some kind of catastrophic system failure. “....I, ah, may have gone a bit overboard with the magnet, so she's no good—” He flinched as Unit Two tried to walk, and again as something sheared off behind her generous buttcheeks.

I started to pick up on where he was going. “....the other two?”

“The cattle prod didn't fry the redhead,” Uncle Frank reasoned. “Probably just knocked her battery cycles out of whack for a while...as for the blonde—” An ear-splitting, orgasmic cry cut him off, causing him to flinch. “....well, ah, I think you can figure that one out yourself.”

A faint ting from the tablet broke into the conversation. “....transfer...interrupted....what the fuck?!”

Uncle Frank nearly fell over, getting up from his chair to go over to the work table. I followed him, at a pace that would've made the Frankenstein monster look like a Riverdancer. I was still pretty much drained from having seen Lina get shut off and carried out like yesterday's trash, so it took me a bit to make it to the work area without tripping over anything; by the time I got there, Uncle Frank was leaning over the table, stroking Lucy's hair again. “....Lucy?”

“No, it's the Tooth Fairy....” Her voice sounded a bit less caustic than before. “....yeah, it's me. Maybe...45% of the files transferred over to the tablet....what even happened?”

Anything Uncle Frank could've said was cut off by me, taking a deep, shuddering breath. “Tell her.”

“....Matt—”

“TELL HER.”

I could tell Uncle Frank was staring at me, but when he spoke, he sounded a lot calmer than I'd expected. “....some, ah, people....robot girls, actually, and two guys—showed up here, in a black Suburban....they were, ah, lookin' for you.”

“....black Suburban?”

Uncle Frank nodded. “The girls at the door, first, then the two guys...I tried to distract 'em...Lina stayed with you, to—”

“Where is Lina right now, anyway? Last thing I remember, she hooked the tablet up to my body....”

I was too busy staring at the floor, trying not to think about what had happened, to notice if Uncle Frank was staring at me or not. “...uh, Matt, you wanna tell her, or....”

“They took her.”

“....wait, what—”

“The fucking bastards that came here looking for you took Lina, okay?! They fucking shut her off and fucking carried her out!” I turned to glare at Lucy on the table, and at Uncle Frank—it wasn't even remotely their fault, but I wanted, needed to be pissed off at someone. “Kept asking for 'Lucy Sievers', nearly choked out Uncle Frank, and then.....” I turned away again. The words “they took Lina” tried to form in my throat, but came out as choked, wheezing sobs.

“...shit....” For the first time since I'd met her, I heard something like genuine regret in Lucy's voice. “Matt, I....”

“We're gonna get her back,” Uncle Frank assured her—and, more than likely, reminded me. “I was just about to—”

“How are you even on right now?!” I glared at the table again, my anger barely kept in check.

“Whoever busted in here disrupted the network. The transfer process cut off as a safety measure, to make sure I didn't get borked—that, and I just got a notification from the network back at my house....” The view on the tablet switched to a security camera feed of Lucy's place—true to her word, someone had gone room-to-room and utterly trashed it. “Tore up the bedroom, the garage, the shed out back...even broke down the door to my office. Can't tell if they found anything...though judging from how they decided to break everything they looked at, I'd have to guess they didn't.”

“....Lina put the notes in the car, with your backups...Uncle Frank—”

“I'm on it!” Uncle Frank nearly fell over trying to turn on his heel, but he managed to get to the door without tripping.

With him out of the room, I turned my attention to Lucy. “Those androids, in the black Suburban....”

“Pretty sure they're not from the Institute. The brain trust that built me lets me do my own thing, they repair me if I get fucked up too badly, and they help me pay the bills. I don't think I pissed any of 'em off over the past few months....”

“You're sure?”

“If they wanted me back on campus badly enough, all they'd have to do is call me. They'd never just show up, wreck shop and demand I go back, especially if I'm in the middle of something.”

“You said back at your place that if they found out about....what you'd done...”

“I said they'd cancel my security clearance. Even something like this wouldn't be enough for them to pay me a visit, or send some heavies after me, or threaten to send me over to Reclamation or anything like that....” A sigh issued from the tablet's speaker. “And they sure as shit wouldn't take Lina, either.”

“....so they're not the ones behind this.”

“Unless someone on the Board's got a real hate-boner for me....”

I almost said something, but Uncle Frank nearly falling on his ass from sliding back into the work area cut me off. “It's all still in the car,” he declared. “Notebooks, binders, a laptop....they didn't take anything!”

“....and how did you get in the trunk of the car—”

“Remote unlock, courtesey of me...they didn't take anything out of the car?”

“Not a thing.” Uncle Frank glanced at me. “....you said you'd seen that Suburban before, Matt?”

“Around the block at my house, two days after the party when I'd met Lina. It stopped on the street right in front of my house, the night after....and they might've been following us part of the way here.”

“And you decided not to say anything before then?!”

“I didn't want Lina to freak out! I didn't even know if they were really following us or not...” I swallowed. “...you don't think they backtraced our steps to your place, do you?”

“Fuck if I know. The Institute's probably going to be pissed, since they helped pay for the house.”

“Well, we'll worry about that later on down the line,” Uncle Frank stated. “You, ah, want me to move your notes and such in here? I've got plenty of hiding places they'll never think to look...”

“Call the Institute later, tell 'em to check the trunk. Better yet, just bring the car to the Institute..or let it bring itself.”

“...right, right...” Uncle Frank nodded, turning to glance at me. “SO, ah, you holdin' up okay, Matt?”

I took a deep breath and nodded. “...I'm....better.”

“Well, it's like I told you,” Uncle Frank replied, “we're gonna get Lina back from those weirdos...and that's a promise to you, too, Lucy.”

“.....thanks.”

“....so, what about the transfer process? Do we just....start again here, or....”

“My systems aren't picking up the network here, anymore. We'll have to move to somewhere else.” Lucy sounded only slightly pissed off—a bit odd, given the circumstances.

Uncle Frank, on the other hand, wasn't bothered at all. “We can start over again at the hangar!”

“....the hangar?”

“He has a hangar. And a plane, apparently.” I was too numb to even think about chuckling.

“...and you're sure we can get there fast?”

“....well, it's, ah, a bit of a drive,” Uncle Frank admitted. “Maybe half an hour away from here, if traffic isn't that bad...it'll probably be dark by the time we get there, depending on if we hit a jam or not.”

The tablet's speaker issued another sigh. “I'll have to put the tablet in standby for the drive...actually, I'll just kick it into standby now. Preserves power, keeps me from getting bored, all that shit...” Uncle Frank and I exchanged a glance, both of us thinking that Lucy had already put the tablet into standby—until she spoke again: “Matt?”

“.....yeah?”

“.....when you find the bastards who took Lina....fuck 'em up.”

“D'you have to talk like that?” Uncle Frank shook his head. “Polite talk never hurt anyone...”

“What can I say, it's a part of who I am...anyway. Matt....”

I nodded. “I'll do my best.”

“Couldn't ask for anything less.” With that, the tablet's screen dimmed, and the work area fell silent again.

Uncle Frank sighed, running a hand through Lucy's hair again. “.....you're sure you're okay, Matt?”

“Yes, Uncle Frank. I'm.....pissed off as all Hell, I'll admit.....” I sighed. “I just....I thought that bringing Lucy here to finish the transfer was going to be simple. Just in and out, y'know? And now, Lina's gone, Lucy still hasn't transferred, and I find out that you've known about androids and stuff for years....”

“...well, ah....” Uncle Frank shrugged. “...now you know about what I know....”

“Yeah, but it doesn't get us any closer to getting Lina back.” I stared at the work table—actually, I was looking off to the side of the work table, noticing that while Unit One was still writhing away on the lubricant blockage stimulation tool, her“vocalizations” had stopped. “.....did you shut her up, while I wasn't looking?”

“....what, her?” Uncle Frank regarded the silently-gyrating Unit One. “.....maybe she just went on Mute or something.”

“....right...” I sighed. “Y'know, right before Lucy decided to chime in, from the tablet....we were talking about Unit One and Unit Three. You said that the cattle prod up the nose didn't really do that much damage to...Unit Three, I guess, and then you mentioned...” I gestured to Unit One. “....so, what exactly was it you were going to suggest we do with them, before Lucy re-entered the conversation?”

“Well, what I was thinking was, we find out what they know!” Uncle Frank replied. “They might know who has Lina!”

I tried not to focus on Unit One still grinding away on the tool. “....so....we get them to tell us?”

“We bring 'em out to the hangar,” Uncle Frank explained. “Lucy, too—the only reason those punks in the Suburban didn't get her was because Lina—oh, she was strong, Matt. She fought 'em!” He nodded, grinning. “I saw a few bits of it, when I went to grab the magnet...she never let that blonde one get anywhere near Lucy. Did a damn good job of it, too...at least, until the big guy decided to butt in—oh, but she made him pay for that one!” He made a pointing gesture with his arm, making a noise like the power drill that Lina had jammed into the android's ear.

I almost smiled. “...and you think we can get anything out of Units One and Three?”

“We'll at least know who sent them,” Uncle Frank reasoned. “After that...well, we look for where they were sent from, and once we get that....”

“But how do we get Lina back?!”

“.....we'll get to that at the hanger,” Uncle Frank promised. “For now....help me load Lucy in the back of the van—the, ah, the redhead and the blonde, too.” He sauntered off towards where Unit Two was still glitching out; a few seconds later, something (I could only assume it was Unit Two) made a loud screech, then hit the ground with a thud, before Uncle Frank walked back into view. “Well, she's toast,” he stated, as if discussing a washing machine going on the blink. “Couldn't even get the magnet off of her...had to jam a screwdriver in her ear, to hit the emergency power-off switch.”

I stared at him, still feeling a bit numb.

“....the ALPA told me plenty about androids and gynoids,” he explained. “How to fix 'em...how to break 'em, only in the most dire emergencies of course....” He chuckled. “And as for the, ah, 'exotic machine repair' business...”

“.....you've fixed androids and gynoids before?”

“Off-hours only. Nobody else in the shop knows...the ALPA sends a few of their people along to help, sometimes.”

“So why the Hell can't we just call them to sort this shit out?!”

“....they've got a lot on their plate, right now. A lot happened last year....” Uncle Frank sighed. “It's a long story. Too long to sit through here.” He walked over to the chair I was sitting in, and rested a hand on my shoulder. ““... it's, ah, a bit of a drive,” Uncle Frank admitted, “to get Lucy and the other two out to the hangar. Maybe an hour or so away from here, if traffic isn't that bad...it'll probably be dark by the time we get there, depending on if we hit a jam or not.””

“And you're sure that what you've got there can help us get Lina back?”

“Matt...I know it'll help us get her back.” Uncle Frank clapped me on the shoulder. “C'mon...let's get our, ah, passengers into the van, and get out to the hangar. We're gonna be burning the midnight oil...” As if he remembered something, he snapped his fingers. “Might as well handle that, too...” He fished his phone out of his pocket and keyed in a number. “Yeah....it's Frank. My nephew's gonna be out all night, doing a bit of work with me—he's got a cat, at home, needs someone to take care of it...no, no special dietary habits, just make sure she's fed, not too bored. Don't let her out of the house, okay? Thanks.” He hung up the phone, nodding. “My old pal Ron Caravallo. He's great with cats.”

“....how come I've never met any of these 'old pals' of yours?”

“Eh, one day, you might...c'mon.” Uncle Frank grinned. “Let's go load 'em up into the van, and get out to that hangar!”

I nodded, following Uncle Frank to the workbench. It was going to be a long, long night...

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