Reviews/Jason X
Baron's review
CH-ch-ch.......CH-ch-ch.......
The cookie-cutter's got a new twist! In the future, Jason nearly meets his match......and she ain't human.
Fade in on the Crystal Lake Research Facility, circa 2010. Immortally angry psycho-killer Jason Voorhees has finally been taken alive! The director of the facility, one Rowan (Andromeda's resident gynoid Lexa Doig), at a loss as to what to do with the brute, elects to cryogenically freeze him, until a permanent way to deal with him can be developed.
Before this can be accomplished, enter Greedy-soul-who-smells-a-fast-buck-by-selling-Jason-to-the-Government-for-research; Dr. Wimmer (David Cronenberg). Over Rowan's objections - "You don't know who you're dealing with!" - he announces it's a done deal, and proceeds to ready Jason for immediate transport.
Naturally, Jason (Kane Hodder), who was playing possum, takes to this new wrinkle like a knfe through hot.....flesh! Just like that, the body count starts, and before you know it, Rowan and Jason are alone together. Acting fast, Rowan is able to force Jason into the cryo-capsule, and starts the deep-freeze. Naturally, before this can be accomplished, Jason complicates matters, by puncturing the capsule - and Rowan, who is (inevitably) standing in just the right spot - with his trusty machete.
With the capsule punctured, the entire room is sealed off (failsafes, don't you know), thus turning it into a giant cryo-sleep chamber. Rowan, being seriously punctured herself, is thus trapped along with her would-be killer.........
Flash forward 450 years. Earth is now uninhabited/uninhabitable, thanks to the Great Man-Made Global Catastrophe (which was Ronald Reagan's fault, no doubt 
). Enter a Student Research team, led by their "tech-droid" Kay-Em 14 (Andromeda's Captain Valentine, Lisa Ryder). She determines that the mysterious chamber is, wonder of wonders, non-lethal to humans! The rest of the team quickly determines that the chamber is a "primitive cryo-sleep chamber," and begin looking for artifacts. Much to their amazement, they find two: Jason and Rowan, perfectly preserved. Encouraged by their leader, Professor Lowe (Johnathan Potts), the team bundles up Rowan and Jason, and transports them back to the waiting shuttle - but not before a teetering Jason severs the limb of the team's resident "dude-cum-bonehead," Aerael (Dov Tiefenbach).
Once on board the shuttle, we are introduced to the technology of the 25th century - the nanobytes (called "flies" here). The flies can repair damaged tissue, either by regeneration through replication; or by substituting synthetic material. Aerael is quicly reunited with his severed limb, and it is decided to unleash the flies on the less-gruesome specimen - Rowan. Once revived, Rowan tries to explain the gravity of the situation - Jason is no ordinary specimen. Naturally, no one listens to her; what's more, Professor Lowe quickly succumbs to the Greedy-soul-who-smells-a-fast-buck-by-selling-Jason-as-an-exhibit syndrome, ordering the careful preservation of Jason, much to Rowan's dismay.
Excitement over for a while, the Student Team does what comes naturally - they pair off for some quick sex! Even Kay-Em gets in on the act, proudly displaying her new (albeit non-adhesive) nipples for programmer / love interest Tsunaron (Chuck Campbell). The inevitable quickly happens: Jason revives, and immediately begins stalking the ship, leaving bodies (or parts thereof) in his wake. You'd think that after 9 movies, and 450 years, somebody would twig the fact that it's the PHERONOMES that set Jason off! Once Jason's activities are discovered, Security is alerted, led by resident badass Sgt. Brodski ( Peter Mensah). Despite his efforts, Jason's body count keeps growing, culminating in the death of the ship's pilot and navigator, which has the immediate effect of sending the ship crashing through (and wiping out) the station that was their destination. This establishes the Drifting-and-damaged-ship-with-unstoppable-deranged-killer-on-board plot "twist," which perhaps only Stevie Wonder couldn't see coming.
Since the humans can't get the job done, it's technology to the rescue - Kay-Em is quickly reprogrammed for defensive measures, and sets off after Jason. She gives him a bad time of things, compounded by cheeky one-liners: "I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to hurt you now." Jason seems to be puzzled by this woman who won't die, and even more puzzled by the fact that she's getting the best of him! After a few see-saws in the balance of power, Kay-Em gets the drop on Jason, blowing his head off with a 25th century shotgun! Unfortunately, (or inevitably), Jason meets his "demise" within easy reach of the flies, who quickly regenerate him - mistaking the bits of his hockey mask as being an integral component, and regenerating much synthetic body armor as a result - giving Jason his upgrade, as promised. Once again Jason stalks the remaining crew, and Kay-Em is sent out to rectify matters. The upgrade has made Jason invulnerable, and he takes the obvious route in dealing with Kay-Em - by literally "knocking her block off!"
The situation is getting grim: the ship's about to self-destruct, and help, in the form of a rescuing ship, is precious minutes away. Jason is momentarily distracted ny a holographic ruse, set up by interfacing the still functioning Kay-Em's head with the ship's computer. This buys just enough time for the rescuing ship to come and save Rowan, Kay-Em, and Tsunaron, allowing the wounded-but-still-alive Sgt. Brodski to make the (inevitable) grandstand play, thwarting Jason's last attempt to kill the survivors - and leaving the ending suitably ambiguous, for the (inevitable) sequel. Fade out just after Kay-Em assures Tsunaron that her new body will be sex-capable!
As Jason movies go, this one is a small cut (no pun intended) above the others. Better SFX, but the same old plot devices can't really overcome the new trappings - even the tranformation of Jason into Terminator - Jason (uh-oh, there's the next sequel). A few joke references to other movies (Star Trek, and the earlier Jason films); large body count (I quit after 15); "surprise" appearances; gore a-plenty; its' all there, just as before. Kudos for fleshing out the character of Kay-Em; she's intelligent, self-aware, and her impishness elevates her persona tremendously. She has one brief, humorous "boob shot," and a brief glimpse of innards when Jason knocks her block off, but nothing in the way of voice, movement, or malfunction - perhaps the producers felt there wasn't room for any more cliches? Fans of Andromeda can now debate who is the better gynoid - Ms. Doig, or Ms.Ryder. And fans of Jason will recognize the fact that this is a stand-alone film; Jason 9 ended with hints of "Jason vs. Freddy Krueger" as being the next sequel - unless painting themselves in a corner was done by design, as the only REAL way to kill off Jason!!
