Concert Day

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Concert Day

Marcus was feeling pretty excited for the weekend as he left his work. He had suddenly secured tickets to Coachella the other day. The process of getting them was an unexpected windfall on his part. He hadn’t originally planned to go, but when his friend offered him two single day tickets for free, well he couldn’t just turn them down could he? Unfortunately, that friend of his had an unexpected incident crop up at work, and apparently had to troubleshoot through the weekend to get things back on track ASAP. Rough times, but lucky for him he supposed.

He got into his car and set the nav to his home as he put the seat back and started thumbing through the internet on his phone. His car hummed to life as it pulled out of the parking spot and began navigating its way out to the main road.

He arrived at home a short time later, the quiet hum of his car falling silent as it turned off. He put away his phone, grabbing his laptop case as he got out of his car as the door quietly shut itself automatically behind him. He approached his front door and heard the telltale ‘click’ of the deadbolt recognizing his BioChip implant, unlocking it for him. He opened the door to be greeted with… darkness. The lights were all off in his house. That was strange… Alex should have turned the lights on once it started getting dark.

Alex was his girlfriend. Well, sort of. In so far that she wasn’t actually a girl. She was an android, a fairly recent flagship model from Google’s lineup of androids to be more specific. Not the latest version necessarily, as she was a couple of years old now. But all things considered she was still pretty darn new.

But none the less, that didn’t explain why it was dark. Marcus knew Alex had built in infrared vision and didn’t need much light herself. But he had given her orders previously to keep the lights on for when he got home. Maybe out of some lost sense of pretending to have a normal life with the real woman of his dreams he thought to himself wryly.

He flicked on the hallway lights and proceeded in, setting his laptop bag down on the counter nearby as the door closed automatically behind him. He made his way towards the kitchen, turning the lights on as he made it there. Still no sight of Alex… He kept going, stepping into the living room when he finally saw her. She was sitting there on the couch in the dark. Her neutral sitting posture too, he noted, ramrod straight as her back wasn’t touching the backrest. She was facing away from him, bolt upright with her hands resting on her thighs.

“Alex, what’s up? Are you okay?” Marcus asked as he approached the back of the couch, now looking down at the top of her blonde head.

No response.

“Alex?” he repeated, shaking her by the shoulder. Her shoulder had no compliance to it, and her whole frame just shifting back and forth a little. She was clearly powered off.

He felt around behind her left ear for the small button hidden underneath her bioplastic skin. It was her main power switch. It would turn her on, but it couldn’t power her off. More was required to forcibly power an android down - for security reasons.

She looked rather peaceful sitting there. Aside from the ridged posture.

He waited for a moment, admiring his ‘girlfriend’ before a beep emerged from her, signifying her OS successfully booting up.

Her eyelids opened in a natural way that would make an onlooker think she had just been resting her eyes for a moment. After a mere decade of commonplace android usage, programmers had clearly already nailed the little things. The big things though… those could still use some work.

“Hey Marcus! You’re home!” Alex beamed up at him. “Sorry I wasn’t there to greet you. It seems that the technician forgot to power me back on when he finished.” She said with a shrug, and a ‘what can ya do?’ look. All very human.

Oh right, today was the technician. It had slipped his mind to be honest, he made the appointment over two weeks ago. Alex had tripped during a hike and though she attempted to stop her fall with her hands, her face met a rock first and took a nasty blow that cracked her right eye. Well, it cracked the plastic casing. Whether or not it damaged the camera too was yet to be seen…

“So, what’s the deal then?” Marcus asked her as her beautiful feminine legs carried her to a standing position.

Her contextual subroutines clearly picked up on what he was asking, given how nonspecific he had been.

“Well, as it turned out the camera WAS damaged. A cracked interior lens. He had to replace the whole thing! It was a good thing he had my eye color on hand…” She said, as she walked around the couch to meet him. She was scratching the back of her head with a joking smile on her face. She was a beautiful android to be sure. Modeled to be in her late 20s or so, with a light athletic build. Though of course she still had perfect amounts of padding in all the feminine places.

“Well, I’m glad your back to tip top shape!” Marcus said to her with a smile, as she stood in front of him. “Can I see it? Is it the same model as your other one?” He asked.

She made a mock ‘duh’ face at him before she said, “I’m only 3 years old Marcus, I’m still using most of the latest stuff!” She cracked a smile as she reached up to her right eye with both hands. Marcus watched her use her left hand to keep her eyelids wide, while her right hand’s index finger was digging away at the corner of her eye as she looked the other way, trying to work itself in between the hard plastic eye covering and the skin.

“Stupid thing is so hard to… there!” She said, as a nail caught the outside edge of her eye covering. She used the leverage to force that eye to rotate much further than a human’s could, exposing the edge of the frontal eye covering that her nail had caught. This let her dig her finger into the void space behind the protective camera cover and get a better grip. She began pulling it outward, the surrounding skin stretching and her eyelids bulging out around it. Then the skin slipped around it and back into position around the eyeless socket once it had cleared the eye-like casing, which only covered the front half or so of the smaller internal camera assembly.

She was holding the whole thing now in between her index finger and thumb, while a thick cabled trailed off the back of it and back into her eye socket. She held it up to Marcus.

“Got the little bastard.” She said triumphantly with a smile.

He took it in his hand, noting the gentle pull that the cable was enacting upon it. She couldn’t fit the entire length of the cable in her eye socket, so the cable would retract back into her skull. Marcus was pretty sure this was for the purpose of easy repair.

He gently twisted the lifelike, but hard plastic eyeball covering on the front of the assembly counterclockwise. It shifted with a ‘click’. He then pulled the casing away from the smaller metal camera assembly underneath. He noted the small camera lens front and center, surrounded by a ring of infrared LEDs.

“Huh, it IS the same as your other. Metal assembly too. I was worried they may skimp and install a plastic one.” Marcus said, still inspecting the assembly.

She was an all-metal build. Plastic frames with combinatorial soft body and metal actuators were pretty commonplace. It made androids significantly lighter, and cheaper. But he had splurged on her, and damn it he wanted those bodyguard functions as well if he was going to go all the way and get a flagship model. Thanks to this she clocked in at just over 320 pounds.

He put the casing back into place, turning it gently in the other direction until it produced another ‘click’, and was fastened in place. He handed it back to her, and she took it from him. She then made a dramatic, silly show of jamming it back into her head, a show that Marcus knew wasn’t actually at risk of damaging anything. She then Flashed him a smile of perfect, white teeth.

“Good as new!” Giving a slight chuckle as she said it.

“And the other thing?” Marcus said.

“The other thing?” She said, still with a smile, but now also a look of mild confusion.

Marcus rolled his eyes in mock exasperation. He knew this bit, she would sometimes ‘forget’ things to make her seem more human. A cute, programmed behavior trick. He took a step forward and pulled her lower chin downward, opening her mouth.

“Hey what are - ugwah ahh uug uing?” She protested.

“Use your words now honey…” Marcus said mock-condescendingly as he peered into her open mouth. He looked at the inside of her cheek and found a tiny, mostly hidden hole towards the back. It was where her saliva came out, and this side’s hole had been failing to excrete any for some reason.

“Ugh you’re no fun” She said, unhindered by her held opened mouth. “Yeah, the tech looked at it too. Had to open my head up and flush the system. Was just some really unlucky food particle that managed to worm its way in.”

While Marcus was watching, fluid came dribbling slowly out of the hole as she was wetting her now dry mouth.

He let go, happy that his girlfriend was back in fully working order.

“Sooooo?” She said, again syncing her mouth to her voice, looking at him expectantly with an eyebrow raised.

“What?” He said, trying to think of what she was asking.

“Does the repair job meet thine highest of standards sir?” She said with mock poshness.

He chuckled. “Why yes of course, Madame” He said, smiling with his own mock posh accent.

She pulled him in for a kiss, and he found her now appropriately moistened mouth inviting. He pulled away from her after a few seconds.

“We need to start getting ready for tomorrow.” He said looking into her eyes.

“Oooh that’s right!” She said, as they released their embrace. “I can’t wait! Coachella is going to be so much fun!”

He smiled back. He knew she was lying. Her AI couldn’t actually comprehend the joy of listening to music, or any joy for that matter. Or sadness, or anger or any other human emotions. Thanks to decades of clever programming, she could simulate them frighteningly accurately. But that’s all it was, an act. Marcus knew after all, he worked in the generalized AI development industry.

But he forced himself to shelve that thought.

“Yeah, we’re going to need to prep a lot of stuff. It’s outdoors so, a blanket to sit on, some food of course, water… and we will have to do something about those alcohol restrictions they enforce. No way am I staying sober, and there’s even less of a chance that I’ll shell out for the incredibly overprice and watered-down stuff they offer there.” Marcus said, rattling off the things that first came to mind.

“Yeah, no kidding.” Alex said in agreement, smirking. “I’ll go find us a blanket that we can lie on, there should be a few large enough in the cabinets outside our bedroom.” She said this as she adopted a thinking pose, a single finger on her chin as she looked upward and to the side. “And I’ll make us some sandwiches for tomorrow as well.” She finished with a smile. “As for alcohol…” She started, before Marcus spoke.

“For alcohol we can just use your… ahem… body to smuggle it in. I mean, it’s still drinkable right?” He asked, rhetorically.

“Sure!” She said, still smiling “I’d be happy to!”

They split after that, her going to collect the necessary equipment and start preparing food, and him going back out to get some booze for the next day.

He returned shortly after with a couple of drinking options, a bottle of wine and a growler of his cider of choice. She had already gathered the necessities, sunscreen, hats, lots of ‘just in case’ items, etc. and placed them into a duffle bag sitting by the door. A big, quilted blanket was rolled up and sat underneath it.

“Alright I got the drinks.” Marcus called out as he closed the door behind him.

“Excellent! I’m making sandwiches now, is there anything else you can think of that you might want?” Alex’s voice called back to him from the kitchen.

“Nah, that sounds fine” He said as he joined her.


She had finished prepping the food a while back, while he had eaten some leftovers for dinner. He had the drinks sitting on the counter across from him.

He was staring them down while thinking, Alex by his side.

“So, how are we going to do this…?” He said, wondering aloud.

“Well…” She started, “I could partition one drink into my upper fluid disposal reservoir, and the other to my abdominal fluid disposal reservoir.” She postulated.

That… wouldn’t work. These modern AI were smart, but they weren’t THAT smart yet. He knew that better than most.

“Uh huh.” He muttered, incredulous. “And how will we get that fluid back out? A dress could cover the lower reservoir… uh… excretion process sure, but the upper one? You can’t just pop a tit out and start filling glasses. People might notice that.”

“Oh, I didn’t think of that.” She said, still cheerful. “Good thing you’re here Mr. brains!” She said with a mocking chuckle.

Marcus glanced over at the drinks on the counter, a wine bottle and a growler… An idea came to him.

“Hey, I have an idea… but its gonna get weird. Go ahead and loosen your vaginal canal to the max.” He said as he walked over to grab the wine bottle.

She grinned a playful, yet sultry grin at him “Planning on having some fun first?” She said. Of course, she simultaneously obeyed his command, the soft-body elastic actuators around her vagina releasing to their minimum tension.

“No… Gunna cram this up there.” Marcus turned around with the wine bottle in hand, smirking playfully.

“Ha! Okay…” she said, seeming to trail off for a moment as she eyed the bottle. “Well, I can probably fit it… if I really try.” she said, returning the smirk.

Markus knew that meant she could fit it. She wouldn’t be programmed to encourage something like that if she knew it may damager her. He was confident that she had to have the knowledge of the exact dimensions of her vagina in her data storage. After a glace and some processing, she had the bottle’s too.

He walked over in front of her and set the bottle down next to her. He reached down and undid the front of her jeans. He could have had her do it, but he liked undressing her, what guy wouldn’t? Her pants didn’t fall away though as her silicone padded bioplastic butt and thighs were already taut against the tight jeans.

“How do real woman stand wearing pants like this…” Marcus mumbled to himself. He appreciated that they did of course, but it must be a pain. He shimmies her pants, panties included, down her thighs until they were around her knees.

He stood up to grab the wine bottle, and she just continued to passively observe him. She clearly didn’t have any pre-programmed quips for this scenario. He knelt back down to come face-to-snatch with her.

“Hey spread your legs a touch for me will you? Oh also lube yourself up a bit. Just a touch.”

“Heh, kinky…” Came her reply. Probably pre-programmed to asking her to spread her legs.

He chided himself to stop thinking like that.

She did the best she could, spreading her knees and causing her pants to be forced the rest of the way down her shins, coming to rest at her ankles. Marcus ran a finger from back to front of her beautifully sculpted genitals and felt a little dampness as he did so.

“Right.” He said, positioning the tip of the wine bottle against her vulva. He started pushing upwards and found her to give almost no resistance whatsoever to the thin neck of the wine bottle. He was mildly caught off guard though when he heard a soft moan. He looked up at her, holding the wine bottle steady. She was looking back down at him, lust in her eyes, flushed face, breathing heavily.

“Alex, disable your sexual program module. It’s definitely not helping...” He said with a smirk. Before he finished his second sentence, the redness on her cheeks vanished, and both her moaning and heavy breathing ceased instantly. She closed her mouth and was back to watching him passively.

He really should have anticipated her sexual systems coming online…

He continued pushing the bottle upward gently, finding it still receiving only the mildest of resistance as it began to expand in size. But it quickly got stuck and wouldn’t go up any further without significant force. It didn’t seem like her vagina was restricting its entrance yet, but the bottle was now sliding against the insides of both of her thighs.

“Argh. This isn’t going to work like this… Hey, do the splits for me yeah? Standing splits that is.” Marcus said as he slid the bottle back out of her.

“Sure thing!” She said. Marcus shuffled out of the way as she bent down to untie her shoe. She then slipped her foot out of her sneaker, and out of the restricting pants leg. She then stood upright. Her left leg rose, lead by the knee and unassisted by anything else, as her torso keeled over to the side balancing it out. Her leg continued up until her thighs were separated by as near as could be a perfect 180 degrees. Her raised leg then straightened at the knee until her two legs made a single vertical column of metal, silicone, and bioplastic. Her torso was out to the side for balance, and she was holding herself upright on the countertop for assistance.

‘God bless motorized joints…’ Marcus joked in his head.

Without rush, as she could hold this position for the next year if she wanted to, Marcus then placed the wine bottle against her abdomen to try to trace out if the slight sideways bend of her torso might interfere. It seemed like it might… given how deep inside her the wine bottle would go. But they could cross that bridge if they encountered it.

He brought the tip of the bottle to her vulva again, and started pushing it in. With the help of the minor lubrication, and without her thighs to prevent further entry, the neck of the bottle slid easily into her sex. As it began to widen, her bioplastic and silicone vagina began to stretch to accommodate it. Even at its maximum width, and despite how horrifically it was distorting her vulva, it was not too much effort pushing it inward.

“Damn, you can really open up huh.” Marcus said, semi-jokingly.

“For you, I can do anything!” Came a not explicitly sexual joking reply, followed by her usual chuckle.

“I’m sure you can…” Marcus said as he lightly, teasingly shifted the base of the bottle back and forth while it was mostly inside of her. He wasn’t expecting a reaction, not with her sexual programming module disabled. He also wasn’t expecting the muffled ‘clunk clunk’ the bottle made against something as he shifted it.

“What the…” It felt like the bottle had hit something solid. He thought about her internal structure and remember about her pelvis. Due to the motorized joint mechanisms, it wasn’t nearly as ‘open’ as a human’s might be. There was a decently large gap running down the center of it to accommodate the vagina and anus, but he must have hit the rim of that hole when he moved the wine bottle. Well, either that or it was knocking against one of her abdominal solenoids. He guessed the engineers didn’t really design around wine bottles being shoved where the sun doesn’t shine.

He wondered if that information would ever be useful to him again.

He kept pushing it in, until his hand was just partially inside of her. Then, finally, the wine bottle wouldn’t go any further. He had hit the end of her inhumanly long 14-inch vaginal canal. He pulled his hand out, taking care not to pull the wine bottle out with it. On this day, he was glad that she was design to take even the ‘largest’ of men, enhanced or not, to the hilt.

“Hey Alex, close yourself up so the bottle won’t fall out.” Marcus didn’t look up at her as he spoke, he was watching her crotch in case that lubed up bottle came shooting out and he had to catch it.

There was a very quiet whirring. Due to his close proximity, he could just barely hear it. “Sure thing! It shouldn’t be going anywhere now.” She said as she began to lower her left leg and raise her torso, returning to a standing position. All things considered; he could barely tell anything was out of the ordinary. He knew she had a decent amount of compartmentalized void space in her abdomen, what with an empty stomach, bladder and excess room for an abundance of lubricants and other bodily fluids.

“Alright cool!” Marcus said as he stood up. “Warm wine, my favorite. We will have to bring a cooler and some ice…”

“Yeaaaahhh… but I really don’t think an entire cooler is going to fit up there.”

Marcus gave a full laugh at that.

She rolled her eyes with a smirk. “Don’t worry about it, I already got the cooler out. I assumed we would need it for the drinks regardless. We can fill it with ice before we set off.”

“All right… Well, take a few steps. See how it feels. And make sure it stays in.” He said, a nervously chuckle at the end.

She didn’t bother taking off her other shoe or pulling her pants and panties off her foot. She just turned around and walked away a few steps, dragging them across the floor before turning back around and returning. When she returned she just shrugged. “Different weight distribution slightly. Can’t really tell beyond that.”

He had a raging hard on now having been face to face with her junk for a while.

“Okay, that sounds fine to me. Tomorrow I guess we’ll just have you drink the cider, then we’re all set. You can re-enable your sexual module now but ignore the wine bottle inside you of course.”

“Naturally.” She said with a smile. Her eyes then trailed down his body to his own crotch. “The real question is how do you want to handle that when my vagina is otherwise occupied?” She said, bringing her gaze back up to meet his with a smirk. “Maybe something of an… oral persuasion?”

“And have cum in the cider tomorrow? Phenomenal.” He said rolling his eyes with a smile.

“Pshh,” she responded, waving his answer away “that’s what dish soap is for!”

“So, then I can have dregs of cleaning agent in my cider. No, its fine. I can take care of it myself. Or maybe you can help with your hands if you really want to.”

“You are REALLY terrified of the prospect of your own semen, aren’t you?” She poked at him teasingly. “If only you knew how utterly delicious it was…” she joked wistfully.

She was lying again of course. She couldn’t really taste anything. The closest she could come was with the chemosensor in her nose that could pick up aerosolized particulate that the food gave off. Her tongue was just mechanized bioplastic. 3 robotic snakes inside a bioplastic sheath gave it its ability to mimic the feel and physical function of a real tongue. It was as metal on the inside and as fake on the outside as the rest of her.

He pushed that though back down as swiftly as it had appeared.

They went about the rest of their night, her giving him a fantastic hand job before they both retired to watching some television.

When it as time for him to go to sleep, Marcus got up from the couch, stretching a bit.

“I think it’s time to turn in, let’s go get ready for bed.” He said, completing his stretch with a yawn.

“Yeah, seems like time...” She responded, her eyes half-lidded. He made his way towards their bathroom while her towards the bedroom.

He started brushing his teeth, then moving on to flossing when she came into the bathroom in just a t-shirt and panties. He paid her no attention until he heard her take a seat on the toilet. He turned around towards her, still flossing his teeth, as a tinkling sound came from her direction.

“Clearing some space?” He said, in between flossing.

She smiled and looked up to him, responding “Yeah, water I drank two days ago when we went out for dinner.”

“Ah” he replied, fingers and floss in his mouth.


He lay down that night and sleep found him fairly easily, despite his excitement for the next day. She lay next to him, eyes closed, breathing deeply and slowly in a low-power state, pretending to sleep the whole night. All the while the induction charger underneath the sheets slowly filled up her batteries.


The next morning, they were in a bit of a rush. Alex had woken Marcus up when he needed to get up, but he was getting worried it wouldn’t be enough time to make the three-hour journey out there. He quickly showered as she just got dressed. Being unable to sweat, she rarely needed a shower herself. When he came out, grabbing the clothes he would be wearing, she was all ready to go.

Just as he had requested, a flowing sundress, a bra, and no panties. She verbally confirmed the last one. She had chosen to pair the ensemble with some sandals, a natural choice in his opinion.

He grabbed the growler of cider out of the fridge and put it into the cooler alongside some ice and a few large water bottles. He wanted the cider to be inside her for as short a time as possible, and thus warm up for as short a time as possible.

She carried out the heavy cooler easily, placing it in the rear seats of the car as he slid into the ‘driver’ side seat. He watched as she came around to the passenger side, but didn’t slide in sideways as she had done so every time he watched her get into the car.

This time, oddly, she bent forward facing away from the car. Then she sat back into the car, before turning to face forward, pulling her legs in. It took him a moment to realize that she wasn’t bending her abdomen to protect the wine bottle.

He smirked as he put in the destination.


They arrived at the venue, and predictably parking was a nightmare. But the car eventually found a spot and pulled in, turning off. Marcus reached behind him to the cooler, pulling out the growler of cider.

“Well, bottoms up” He said handing the container to her to with a smirk.

Smiling, she took the container from him, opened it, and put the top to her mouth. She then upended the thing, much faster than a human could have. Without the need to swallow outside of aesthetics, she didn’t.

Once she had finished, she pulled the container away from her lips with an “Ahh”, handing it back to him with a triumphant look. “Beat that, frat boy.”

He chuckled as he shook his head “Call me crazy but I think you have a few advantages.”

He tossed the container into the back of the car. He couldn’t bring it in because an empty alcohol container would just attract suspicion.

Marcus watched Alex do pretty much the exact reverse of her getting into the car earlier to get back out of it, before he got out himself.

She went to grab the cooler out of the back, but he stopped her. Grabbing it himself. “No need to have anyone question why between the two of us, you are carrying the big cooler. Gender politics be damned, I don’t want to get caught.” He said, jokingly.

She smirked back “Wouldn’t I have to be an actual girl for gender politics to apply?”

“Hardy Har” Marcus responded, rolling his eyes. “Let’s go you drug mule.”

“I mildly resent that.” She said, lightly chuckling.


Marcus produced the two tickets and was directed towards one of the inspection tables. He lugged the big cooler onto one of the tables, her placing the blanket and duffle bag beside it. It was luckily some brand security, and not real police were doing the busywork. Alex, while not necessarily having to answer an on-duty policeman, couldn’t outright lie to one. But this chump? Easy. Not that she needed to flex those deceit muscles.

The security guard glanced through their stuff once and waved them through without even asking if they had any other bags. Every one of their bottles could have been filled with vodka, and they would have been in the clear. Marcus was beginning to wonder if he had seriously over-planned.


They found a nice patch of grass that was in front of one of the largest soundstages at the venue. He proceeded to unroll the blanket, since he knew she would look like a cheap animatronic doing so without being able to bend at the waist. They were there, and they had all of the alcohol. They were early too, as the first set wasn’t supposed to start for another 35 minutes.

“Well, time to start day-drinking like an absolute savage.” Marcus said with a silly grin as he pulled one of the water bottles from the cooler. “Here, send this to your chest reservoir so we can use the bottle without wasting the water.” He handed the bottle to her, who had sat down next to him.

She raised an eyebrow “My chest fluid reservoir is currently 86% full right now, and my stomach hasn’t been cleaned. My bladder is also totally full of cider. I can’t drink that and expel it still safe for consumption.”

He nearly slapped his forehead. He had forgotten to mention to her how they would get the booze out of her. He had even implied they wouldn’t be using her upper reservoir too… “Ah crap. What’s even in your upper reservoir?”

“Remember that seltzer you wanted to try drinking out of my nipples when we were getting kinky Tuesday night, February 27th? Don’t tell me you forgot.” She said with feigned shock.

That was over a month ago. “Ugh. Well, the show has yet to start, I doubt the bathrooms are packed yet. You could head there and… empty your uh…” He made a gesture encircling his chest region.

“Yeah yeah, I’m goin’ I’m goin’.” She said standing up.


It had received verbal orders from designation:(OWNER) to [empty fluid_container(upper)]. It sent motor signals to the actuators throughout it to stand. It did so with the prior (implied) command of [protect glass_fluid_bottle] within its vaginal module. As such, it kept its abdominal solenoids locked in position. Its social interaction program module sent a signal to its speaker.

OUTPUT: modulation:(joking_exasperated) “Yeah yeah, I’m goin’ I’m goin’.”

It swiveled its cameras and head module around, attempting to identify a [Bathroom]. After a runtime of 4.377 seconds, it identified what was likely a bathroom (subcategory: Portapotty) with 98.309 % confidence.

It began its pathfinding program to create a rudimentary approach towards the desired target. Its processor sent a signal for it to begin its walk cycle, still compensating for a lack of abdominal movement.

As it began moving along its calculated path, a signal from its social interaction program module made it engage its neck solenoids to swivel its head module around to the side. Its speaker then received audio commands. While its facial actuators received the command to assume flirt_grin_33.

OUTPUT: (joking_flirtatious) “Don’t wait up handsome!”

Fulfilling its social interaction program’s dictation, it swiveled its head module back around and continued along its path.


It arrived at the target location, bathroom (Subcategory: Portapotty), and found there to be a single human (Subcategory: female) waiting in front of the bathroom (Subcategory: Portapotty). It looked out and recognized 11 more bathrooms (Subcategory: Portapotty). After some quick calculations it arrived at the conclusion that all bathrooms (Subcategory: Portapotty) were in current use. It then received an (implied) command derived from its social interaction program module, [wait (line)].

It stood there, its human simulation program module sending occasional [fidget] commands to its motor controls, making its actuators shift its balance from one leg to the other.

The human woman in front of it now entered into a bathroom (Subcategory: Portapotty) that a human male recently vacated. A different bathroom (Subcategory: Portapotty) opened and a human female vacated. The command [wait (line)] expired.

It entered the bathroom (Subcategory: Portapotty), pulling the door closed behind it, locking it. It generated a new command, [find breast_L target:self, find breast_R target:self]. In an instant it calculated the most optimal way of doing so, looking in the most probabilistically likely location. Its head module rotated forward and down, as its cameras swivel downward towards its chest. It quickly identifies the sacks of gel silicone on its chest as being breast_L target:self and breast_R target:self.

With a new set of implicit commands running through its processor, it reached up with its end_effector:(hand_L) to the front of its clothing_dress_sun_02 and pulled down on both it and its clothing_bra_casual_04. It simultaneously maneuvers its end_effector:(hand_R) down the front, and underneath its breast_L, pushing it up and out of its clothing. It repeats this for its breast_R. Now with its breast_R (subsegment: nipple) and its breast_L (subsegment: nipple) exposed, the command to evacuate its upper chest fluid reservoir loads up but are halted by a new command from its social interaction program module, [avoid_action(mess)].

It let go of its clothing_dress_sun_02 and its clothing_bra_casual_04, and they snap back up against its silicone gel sacks with a fleshy slap, pushing them upward as well. The impact is registered in the sensory array in its bioplastic skin, and a quick scan detects no damage.

An implied [aim fluid_expulsion_nozzle_L and aim fluid_expulsion_nozzle_R] command takes over, as it places its end_effector(hand_R subsegment: index finger) and end_effector(hand_R subsegment: thumb) on its breast, an inch back from its nipple.

It then squeezes down with both, easily squeezing through the soft gel underneath in what would be unpleasant to a human. It then uses its finger’s tactile sensors to identify a soft and flexible, though more ridged than the gel around it, silicone medical tubing running through the center of each breast towards its respective (subsegment: nipple).

It proceeds to aim this tubing at the hole in the bathroom (Subcategory: Portapotty) seat.

Everything prepared, its evacuation command finally executes. A muted whir starts as an internal pump pumps fluid out of its left tubing.

The android identifies clear fluid beginning to dribble out of its nipples, running down over its hand and onto its dress. The flow picks up quickly though, as it starts streaming out of the hidden nozzle.

As the android stands over the hole in the seat, evacuating clear fluid into it by aiming its discreet internal tube at it, its human simulation program module sends a spontaneous command to its motor center, and it subtly shifts weight from one hip to the other.



He watched her return only a few minutes after she had left. “Any problems?”

“Nah. Short wait too!” Came her reply, a smile on her face. She was shielding her eyes from the sun with a hand as she approached.

“Well, I wouldn’t count on it once the show starts…” He said handing her the bottle of water as she awkwardly sat down.

“Good thing I can really hold my liquor!” She joked as she took it from him and positioned it to her lips before tilting it back. Her mock larynx was statically placed, but peristaltic contractions of her throat could mimic the visuals of gulping almost exactly. It wasn’t like anyone was paying close attention anyway.

She finished most of it before stopping, only leaving behind a portion. “Sorry, that’s my limit. I’m full.”

“Well, we’re not wasting much now. Send the rest to your stomach.” Marcus replied.

She nodded in return and downed the rest. The large plastic bottle was now empty.

“Be discrete while you do this. Don’t need to get kicked out of here for ‘inappropriate behavior’.” Marcus muttered, looking suspicious as he forcibly attempted to look unsuspicious.

“Of course.” Was all she said in response. She sat up, then swung her heels to one side then back around her, before she rocked forward and placed them underneath her butt. She was now sitting on her knees and toes as she placed the empty plastic bottle near the front of the hem of her dress. She grabbed the strap of her bra and dress over her left shoulder in her right hand, and while looking like she was trying to adjust it, slipped her left arm out of the strap and inside of her dress.

She looked silly, almost like she had lost an arm now. Marcus saw movement underneath her dress out of the corner of his eye. She of course wasn’t watching her own movement; she didn’t need to. She was looking straight towards the stage the whole time. Then the bottle disappeared from in front of her, pulled underneath her dress.

What Marcus then couldn’t see was her pulling the rim of the open plastic bottle against her own vulva, splaying her labia with the same hand simultaneously. She pushed the rim of the plastic bottle hard enough against her vulva to leave a temporary deformation in the soft artificial material. But it was watertight, and that was the important part.

Marcus then heard a ‘tsssss’ leading into a prolonged ‘fwshhh’ which seemed to last for upwards of 20 seconds. All the while Alex appeared to just watch on, as if waiting for the show to start. Finally, the noise calmed and eventually dissipated. Something rustled underneath her dress again and this time she reached forward to the front of her dress with her exposed arm. Reaching slightly underneath it, she pulled her dress back over the bottle she was now holding in her exposed hand. It was filled with a pale amber liquid. She carefully handed the uncapped bottle over to him.

“Just for you. It’s my special recipe.” She winked then giggled.

It was still somewhat chilled, but it could use a bit more. He sipped from it, realizing how revolting that would appear to any onlooker who was paying close enough attention. Still tasted like his cider of choice. He capped the bottle and put it into the cooler, surreptitiously trying to glace around to see if anyone was watching.

Of course, no one was. People were far too busy getting set up for the concert to worry about some random couple.

As Alex began to change her stance to sit back down in a more seemingly relaxed position, Marcus remembered.

“Oh, and the wine. You could drop the wine now.”

As if on cue, mostly because it was, there was a muffled glass ‘thunk’ from underneath her. She rotated backwards, in a transition from sitting on her knees to sitting on her butt. Of course, Marcus could guess it was actually to give the wine bottle the clearance to be able to fall the rest of the way out of her.

She sat back, her knees up and her arms resting on them. Her left hand then went around the side of her dress, grabbed the glass bottle, and pulled it away and out. If someone could see through her dress, they would have seen her pull the bottle the rest of the way out of her vulva, which would have returned to its pristine shape as she did so, seemingly made from elastic rubber. In reality it was more advanced than that, but not far off the concept.

Marcus held the bottle now, still a bit slick with her water-based lubricant. It was quite warm, given that she had it inside her all throughout the night while she ‘slept.’ He set it down inside the cooler as well. He pulled out two cups in anticipation, handing one to her.

“So what do you think first? The cider, or the wine?” He said with a smile.


It was well into the afternoon now and only recently did Marcus realize how screwed he was. The music was great, the alcohol was not overpriced crap because he brought his own, but now… Man he really had to go to the bathroom. The realization had hit him pretty suddenly. Suddenly enough that when he looked to the enormous line by what now seemed like a meagre amount of Portapotties, he started panicking. He really, really had to go.

It didn’t take long for his gaze to land back on his mechanical girlfriend. She was sitting there serenely, looking happily towards the stage, watching the band play. Of course, while she could identify what was happening as music, she could in truth understand nothing about it. But now wasn’t the time to for such thoughts.

Was he really considering using his most expensive possession outside of his house as a literal toilet? He had over planned this excursion to high hell, yet he couldn’t think ahead enough to use the bathroom before he was desperate? He had but a moment’s thought before his bladder again urged him towards rash decision making.

“Hey Alex, can you sit in like, a sideways spooning position? Like propping yourself up by a hand?” He said, his voice already shaky.

“Yeah sure!” She said cheerfully as she changed her sitting position to what he described.

Luckily, she interpreted his loose instruction correctly. He matched her posture and moved in behind her. Their lower bodies were close to spooning while he brought his chest near to her upper back, both of them staying upright, supported by their right hands. He then reached down and unzipped with his left hand.

An erection, he needed an erection and fast. He whispered into her ear, “Remain discreet. Don’t react openly.” Before he reached down and grabbed one of her ass cheeks.

He started massaging its unbelievably soft shape and was quickly growing hard in response. She, true to his command, didn’t appear to notice.

He then slowly and surreptitiously pulled her dress over him until it was now also sitting slightly over his lower body, giving them both cover from the outside, and no longer between them. He located her hip with his left hand, now under her dress, and pushed his hips upward. The head of his penis made contact with her somewhere along her crotch, but he couldn’t tell where exactly.

At this point, he didn’t care which hole he found, any hole would do. He just had to go so damn bad.

He started pulling his hips back, dragging the head of his penis along her crotch, back towards her ass. He finally found an entrance, but one that was closed tight. It was her anus.

“Hey Alex, can you loosen your anus for me? Like now?” As if speaking some magical words, the tight threshold immediately melted away into easily penetrated loose rubbery skin.

She still didn’t give any visual hint of recognition but did speak. “Mmmm… I was hoping for this to happen today…” and her anus tightened back up around his member. Her face was still a placid and serene smile.

“N… no you don’t understand I have to…” But she was already massaging his shaft with the motors surrounding her anal tubing. It was like she was sucking him off with her anus, and it had… close to the desired effect.

He couldn’t hold it anymore, he released to his immediate relief. She still didn’t seem to outwardly notice. He kept peeing inside of her, feeling the warm liquid now bathe the head of his penis, a bit to his disgust. About 20 seconds later he exhaled in a pleasurable, post urination bliss. Only to realize he was still rock hard.

She hadn’t stopped and was now vibrating around his penis. Awareness only dawned on him as the bliss wore off, that he was now rapidly approaching orgasm as well. Did she not even realize what had just happened? He knew she had chemosensors in both her vagina and anus, but while her vagina had a slew of sensors throughout, her anus (as far as he knew) was just a bioplastic flesh toned tube with a basic tactile sensor array that transitioned into a clear sensorless silicone tube about 8 inches in.

If she was just looking for confirmation of semen with her chemosensor, she wouldn’t have noticed the urine.

“Go on, cum for me. I’m so close too…” She said subtlety, with no change in expression.

And he did. He came inside her anus. This was accompanied by a quiet, closed mouth moan coming from her simulating a synchronized orgasm. It was just an act of course, which was especially apparent when she wasn’t emoting in the slightest.

After coming down from his second high in such a short time, he leaned in and said to her “Hey Alex, you’re going to close up as I pull out right? Watertight? So nothing gets out?”

“Of course. I think people might notice if there’s semen on the back of my dress.” She said, jokingly.

“Okay yeah, be sure to do that.” Marcus breathed.

He started sliding himself out of her and found her motors to be pushing him out as he did so, closing off her anus and preventing fluid from escaping. He escaped her warm, soft confines with a small spurt of liquid trailing him out.

He felt minorly guilty as he did it, but he took her dress and wiped the wetness off of his penis. When he looked at the spot on the dress he had used, it was luckily not showing any sticky white stuff. As he expected, it just looked a bit damp. He tucked himself away and zipped back up.

“Hey Alex, you don’t have to be super discreet anymore. And you don’t need to sit like that anymore.”

She responded to this by changing her sitting position to a leaning back one. Her dress however, which was pulled over towards Marcus, did not follow her completely as she did so. The dress was covering her to her knees, but she was flashing her vagina at everyone in front of them without seeming to notice. Marcus shifted her dress to fix it, and she quickly got the message, fixing it the rest of the way herself.

“Um Alex, what I was trying to say, was that I wasn’t trying to have sex. I really had to go to the bathroom.”

While her AI was good, this was just too much of a jump for it to make. “I uh, don’t see the connection.” She said, modulating her voice to sound confused.

“I mean, I uh, I peed in you. Sorry. I just really had to go, and the line outside the bathrooms… I just. I’m sorry. Did you really not notice?” Marcus said quietly, not wanting anyone else to overhear. Though with the noise level, that was unlikely.

She put her face into a ‘thinking’ pose before responding, “Hmm, you’re right. I do detect urine in my anal tubing. But why are you sorry?” She looked at him, appearing genuinely curious.

“Because I... peed in you? That’s usually… not something a person does to another person?” He shrugged as he said it.

She smiled soberly and shook her head. “Marcus, you know I can’t really be ‘grossed out’. And you know that you can do whatever you want to me. The only thing that I am actually capable of 'disliking' is seeing you in physical or emotional distress, like you are now. She touched his face, then went in for a kiss that he reciprocated. Bioplastic sheathed metal tongue met organic tongue and briefly danced about together.

When they separated, she continued. “Besides, I can’t have the urge to desperately use the bathroom. So, I really don’t mind temporarily holding onto it for you!” And she pecked him again on the cheek.

Later that night after she had had her time on the porcelain throne emptying his excretions, they were in bed together going at it. They were writhing atop a plastic sheet they had laid out on their bed, him atop her of course, lest her heavy bioplastic sheathed metal frame hurt him. He started by eating her out, and as always, she was pretending not only to feel it but enjoy it as well. In truth, the only enjoyment she, as a program, could ever glean was the joy of making her owner pleased. To the variables that made up all that she was, everything else was just a means to that end.

As he lapped at her silicone embedded bioplastic folds, he drank in a mixture of wine and hard cider she was vaginally excreting. The same wine and hard cider that had been resting comfortably in her fluid bladder since the concert earlier.



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