File:Kingdom of Loathing - EVE.gif

Manual Entry

• E.V.E.'s operating system was reverse-engineered from the Bugbear OS that the alien bugbears used. Remember that challenge path? If not, you should totally try it.
• E.V.E. was originally going to be called A.L.I.C.E., but no one could come up with what the letters should stand for.
• E.V.E. is no brainless automaton. She's got brains -- three, in fact, from some of the best scientists alive. Er, or not so much alive, now.

Attack: 300

Defense: 300

HP: 500

Introduction Text

You're fighting E.V.E., the robot zombie

You walk into the room, and it's pitch black in there. To avoid being eaten by a grue, you feel around for a light switch and find one of those gigantic mad-scientist knife switches on the wall. You throw it with a satisfying KA-CHUNG, and the lights turn on.

You hear the whine of a capacitor charging up, and then a melodious "all done charging" chord plays. The noise is coming from a scientist in a white lab coat with her back to you--but then she turns around, and she's not a scientist at all. Or, at least, not anymore. Or a single scientist.

The creature regards you with one cloudy, dead-looking eye and one camera that irises in and out focusing on you. She seems to have been stitched together from the parts of at least a dozen humans, and at least four toaster ovens.

"Greetings," she says. "Congratulations for following my instructions, and thank you for activating me. I am the next step in human evolution: E.V.E., the Extremely Violent Entity. Allow me to express my gratitude by making your death quick and painless."

Attack Messages

She smiles at you, then a tooth flips up and a nozzle squirts fear toxin in your face. Ow! Argh! (spooky damage)

She smiles at you with a mouth full of jagged teeth, teeth from at least three humans and three other not-so-humans. Ooh! Argh! (spooky damage)

She stomps over on one human leg and one mechanical leg, servo motors whining, and kicks you in the face. Ugh! Oof!

She strangles you with a hand so cold and dead, someone probably could pry a gun out of it. Ouch! Ouch! (spooky damage)

She spins her head 360 degrees and whips you with her ponytail. The ponytail doesn't hurt, but watching the head spin is creepy. Ooh! Argh! (spooky damage)

She lifts her left hand, which seems to have some kind of bio-organic gun fused to it, which fires a stream of green goo at you. Eek! Eek!

With a whine of servo motors and the smell of ozone, she moves across the room faster than you can see, wraps a cold, dead arm around your neck, and mercilessly throttles you in total silence. It's painful and unnerving. Argh! Eek! (spooky damage)

Miss Messages

She tries to strangle you with a cold, dead hand, but doesn't want to put down her gun.

She tries to stomp on your instep, but her robotic leg isn't cooperating.

She smiles at you, which is a little creepy, but not painful.

She smiles at you. It's creepy, but more pleasant than being attacked.

She tries to shoot you with her bio-organic gun, but it's out of ammo, or lymph, or whatever.

She spins her head 360 degrees, but apparently her "Vomit Pea Soup" protocol isn't executing.

She says, "I require upgrades to ensure your timely execution." She stomps over to a filing cabinet, pulls out a box of floppy disks, and inserts one into a slit above her navel. (FUMBLE!)