Little Red Riding Hood-Fractured Gynoid Tale
Harry: Hey Cricket, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!
Cricket: Awww honey, you never get that trick right.
Harry: Oh yeah? Watch this.....(rriiiipp) Nothing up my sleve.......Presto!
(and it's......BuffyBot)
BuffyBot: I-AM-BUFFYBOT-YES-THAT-IS-ME....WHAT-AM-I-DOING HERE??......OOOOOOOO-I-DON'T FEEL-SOOOOO-GOOOOODDD (BARF!!!)
Harry and Cricket: EWWWWWWWWWW
(Harry sends BuffyBot back to LIVEWIRE and Cricket just stares at him.)
Harry: Hehe.....Imaginge that.....Wrong story.
Cricket: Now here's something we hope you'll really like.
Once upon a time, a sweet, innocent-looking, yet very volupous gynoid named Little Red Riding Hood was making through the woods to Grandma's House for a tune-up. Suddenly, a wolf appeard.
Wolf: "Hello there Red Ri-ri-ri-ai-yi-yi!!!!!"
"Say, these Red Riding Hoods are getting better looking all the time, don't ya think?"
RRH: Oh, hello Mr. Wolf. It's very nice to see you.
Well, the wolf was confused by this odd behavior. She didn't run, she didn't tremble. She just stood their smiling, holding her basket, her crimson encased chest sticking out for all to see.
Wolf: Her what??
Ahhhh.....her big boobs.
Wolf: Oh, you should have said that in the first place.
Sorry.
Wolf: Anyway......Say, what's the matter with you Red? I'm.....THE WOLF....Aren't you going to tremble, and then run??
Red Riding Hood just smiled.
RRH: No. I am programmed to be polite and kind to all I encounter. Unless of course, I am threatend.
Wolf: What happens then?
RRH: Oh please don't make me angry Mr. Wolf. Ypu wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
Wolf: Ah.....ok whatever, Let's just molve on. Say, what ya got in the basket?? (As if I didn't know)
Red showed the wolf the basket.
RRH: I have many burnt out parts which I'm exchanging for new ones.
Wolf: Ah......what happened to the goodies??
RRH: Goodies??
Wolf: Yeah....the goodies....you know, cakes, pies, bottle of cider
Red though a moment.
RRH: Oh, Grandma's House does not require such things.
Wolf: Oh, I see.....Grandma's House does not......Say.....what the heck kind of story is this anyway??
RRH: Well, I must be off. I am late for my much needed tune up. Oh, and I should warn you Mr. Wolf. You are NOT welcome at Grandma's House, so if you try to intrude, you'll be very sorry indeed. Well, have a nice day.
And off Red Riding Hood went to Grandma's House....Well, the wolf was beside himself!
Wolf: Humph!! Not welcome.....very sorry indeed.......Who does she think she is?? Well, here I go, the shoutcut the Grandma's House.
But Mr. Wolf....Red Riding Hood...Her warning.
Wolf: Awww, stick it where the sun don't shine bub!
Oh very well. But you were warned. Anyway, the wolf dashed off and made his way to Grandma's House Robot Repair.....24 hour service.....Satisfaction Garentueed......We take Gynoid Cross......No Wolves allowed!!
Wolf: No Wolves huh?? Well, I am a wolf...in the singular, so IN I go.
And the wolf barged in, chasing Grandma out
Grandma: You'll be sorry if you try to preted to be me. That will make Red Riding Hood very angry and....
Wolf: Yeah, yeah granny, I already get that speech, now scram!!
A short while later, Red Riding Hood entered Grandma's House.
RRH: Grandma?? I'm so very sorry I'm late. I hope I didn't loose my appointment.
Wolf: Why....(ahem ahem)....Why no dear, you just made it.
RRH: Why Grandma, what big mammal-like eyes you have
Wolf: All the better to see you with my dear.
RRH: And Grandma, what a big cartoon-like furry nose you have
Wolf: All the better to smell you with my dear.
RRH: And Grandma, what big pointy teeth you have.
Wolf All the better to EAT YOU WITH MY DEAR!!!!......... ........Ah.....aren't you going to run now???
RRH: No
Wolf: Just a little??
RRH: No.
RRH: A sprint.......A jog?
RRH No and no.
Wolf: Awwww come on!
RRH: I warned you Mr. Wolf. Now you have made me angry. (Her expression hasn't changed)
Wolf: This is angry??
RRH: You are an intruder and must be delt with.
And with that Red's lovely hand became a very large flame thrower!!
Wolf: Oh poo YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, once Grandma saw the Wolf run out, she came back and gave her that much needed tune-up. And they both lived happily ever after. And as for the wolf...wellll...hehe
Wolf: (in a mocking tone) "Welll...hehe" Yeah, it's a good thing (cough couch) my villans health care is paid up!!
THE END